A single Leaf
the last of its kind
final remembrance of Fall's beauty
Drops at last
from a barren tree
floats downward
Stark Bright
Red Orange Yellow
a striking image
against the gray winter sky
Dances about my head
held aloft
teasingly
by the soft kisses of the wind
The audacity!
of a single Leaf
brightening a dreary day
graceful perfection
pure beauty
I catch my breath
afraid to stir
lest the magic be broken
Author notes
ok...so this poem would work the way it is, but actually the whole thing is just one big metaphor...hope ya like it
Written January 23rd, 2003
A contest entry
- Your best prewrite by glazecovered.
300 points, ended February 23, 2004, 274 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This reminds me of those rare magical moments that used to occur when I was a child in the fall time. Of how time seemed to slow down and everything was an exquisite experience of senses and moments all suspended with in a fragment of time. One of those memories that stay crystal clear with in our minds, there for us to treasure for all eternity.
Your rendering of this piece and the flow with in combined with the imagery brings me back to those moments with a sweet and joyous recollection.
Expertly written,
Alimae -
Good imagery but I didn't really like the poem as a whole. This is just personal preference its not really my type of poem thats all. Now I am going to step outside and critique it without being biased:
I really enjoyed the imagery within the poem. You have a good concept on the whole thing. I would like to know what this is a metaphor of because it is a really good extended metaphor. You left me guessing which is always a good thing and you are a very talented writer I am sure.
Good job and good luck in the contest.
Shine brighter,
Baby Star
P.S it was worth entering into the contest I think you have just as good of a shot as anyone!
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Great imagery, I really liked it in this poem. Nature poems are often filled with beautiful imagery that leaves you breathless.
"brightening a dreary day
graceful perfection
pure beauty"
Yep, great job. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
~Anastasia -
Slim ~
Very enjoyable write. I could picture that leaf just floating on the breeze
"held aloft
teasingly
by the soft kisses of the wind"
There is some very nice images here. Enjoyed it very much.
Pen on!
~Lee Stone -
The audacity!
of a single Leaf
brightening a dreary day
graceful perfection
pure beauty
I love this stanza, and this metaphor. a world of truth
contained in it. -
wow this is a great poem!! i love it! keep it up! good job w/ puttin a picture in my head!! <~and prolly neone elses that reads this! dont stop writing! muah!
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oooo ahhhhh.....i enjoyed this every much. your word usage is excellent. this piece does a great job of painting both an image and in the minds of those who are reading and embeding an emotion directly into ones soul. keep up the excellent work. dont stop writing, even after just the second poem of yours i see great hope and lots of room for you to expand and become more than an excellent writer.
~~Mojdeh~~ -
neutral
Great imageries, placid write..Great work! -
neutral
Oh I love it! Something so beautiful just out of reach... such a perfect metaphor that would work just the way it is lol. I love the imagery in your words! Fabulous! -
neutral
'Hate to say I told you so! All right!' lol...
Ok, sorry, feel like rubbing this in your face. But really dear, you are getting SO much better...and I am loving every second of reading your poetry....
Keep it up
~Shayla -
thx all appreciate the comments :)
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neutral
oh yes i do like it veyr much
it is quite beautiful,
the flow
the images,
your expression is wonderful
a damn fine pen :)
thankyou
ashes -
excellent
Very simple yet very expressive. I like the way this works. -
don't touch it!
Your imagery is amazing...stunning, captivating and very vivid. This is a perfect poem engulfed in visions of beautiful imagery and emotion. Very well penned. ~Amy~ -
excellent
this piece, is....im at a loss for words. your creative images are stunning. there is a very graceful movement throughout. great job!
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