To be the rain
upon his face
trailing my way
down his cheeks
clinging to silken skin
To be the laughter
breaking through his lips
Volatile fire coursing
through his mind
to ignite within his visage
To be the air
gracing his lungs
falling through his body
touching his soul
filling him up.
To be the thought
tumbling through his mind
all the day long
when all else is naught...
To be the dream
at night
that brings a smile
to slumbering lips
Author notes
I was inspired by another piece i read which used the same structure for their piece...i really really love this idea for a poem...
~SW~
Written January 24th, 2003
A contest entry
- Contest!! Please enter!! by With Broken Wings.
1200 points, ended March 15, 2008, 102 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What a beautiful piece, conveys the power of love, how it gets under your skin, and strives to know all of the one loved. This is the mighty intensity of young love, old love is more subdued, content in waiting for love to unfold. Ah, but I do remember, brought back to those day by your poem
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this is so sweet! i think my previous comments do not need to be repeated so yea, good write
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don't touch it!
aw, this is so sweet...i mean thats amazing, lucky boyfriend--i wish i could write stuff that wasnt bitter toward guys heh. wonderful dont change a thing. -
neutral
I didnt get it at first, sometimes I just need to read a poem 300 or 400 times before i get it haha, well good write. -
excellent
aww this is so sweet. It makes me sad. good write :) -
excellent
Very sweet poem. I enjoy some of the words you used in this. My favorite part is in the begining. 'To be rain upon his face, trailing my way down his cheek.' Lovely.
*Shawna* -
excellent
Awwww....this is very touching a sweet.
Your boyfriend is very lucky.
Emmanuelle...
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