I close my eyes. I know it's here at last,
my chance to seize my destiny. I breathe
and feel the weight that holds me to my past,
the hope that severs ties and sets one free.
Then sometimes, in the quiet of my mind
I ask myself if this can truly be;
For such as me, can chance be truly blind?
I raise my eyes, too scared to truly see.
So all my yesterdays: were they enough?
Can days of endless toil now take me on?
It's time to face the music, strut my stuff.
What is my spirit worth? It's all or none.
Alone I'll face my point of no return,
and find my heaven or be left to burn.
I'm walking on a knife-edge, on a knife-edge looking down,
surrounded by the gloom of endless night.
I'm walking to tomorrow, to the birth of all my dreams
And hoping, God I'm praying, I don't fall.
In all my dealings, never one so dark
has called on me to truly face my fears.
In cluttered gloom, I seek that single spark
To lead me through the pain, the dreams and tears.
Continue walking forward, child. Be strong;
your heart will pull you through to just reward.
There is no space for doubt, now, right or wrong:
just hope to guide you through, to be your sword.
Thus I can face the chance I'm dying for;
the challenge I must conquer for my prize.
And so I take my waxen wings and soar --
Avoid the burning sun to rule the skies!
The voices whisper: "better far to die
Than never know possession of the sky."
Author notes
A sonnet-based song.
Written October 2nd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Pozo:
In Bad Otter's defence, the poem has undergone a substantial re-write since she commented! But thanks for the comment!
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I thought it did rhyme, I disagree with BadOtter These were great lyrics with good questions
Keep writing, I liked your use of alliteration
All the best,
Pozo
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oh I agree, she would be a wonderfully and tallented singer to sing and perform with this write, a lovely write expresses it self ,with words of this magnitude,food for thought, good luck..Linda
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Good Poem
I liked this poem. A bit of a jump-and-hope-you-can-fly kinda thing. Good expressions and use of words '...dared to pray for' 'Have my tears and toil made me strong?' '...fly on the wings of angles', they all made me feel the poem more. Nice change from what I normally read. -
I have to agree that there sure is a song in the words here. [Good to see you something again too] I have a little trouble with the mix of pentameter and 11 syllable lines but just in a couple of places. It's a piece that's optimisitic with hope, with familiar phrases that don't sound at all cliche, if that makes sense. The two "enoughs" in lines 9 and 10 are a little close together, but not too bad. Sounds like maybe someone has gotten a chance/offer in the field of physics that's too good to refuse but challenging enough to activate the nervous system. Good write, whatever it is.
Paul -
Interesting
This is begging for Barbra Streisand to sing it. I never know what to make of the category 'lyrics' - never sure whether it means the modern song type of lyric, or the poetic kind. If this is to be placed in the former genre, I think it succeeds quite well, but it doesn't rhyme, and I think that might be an asset. On the other hand, if we're talking pooooetry, I'm less convinced. There are so many familiar expressions here, and I think it's meant to be a kind of inspirational, hopeful kind of thing. You even write 'reach to touch the stars' so we're not talking mildly optimistic, it's meant to be really forceful and desperately passionate, and well-worn phrases don't do that for me. Still though, I like the rhetorical questions, and the angels, stars, and praying add a bit of a divine edge, which is Streisand all over really - she'd sing it and think she's God. -
talented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brillant, so very, very good, I loved it. I really liked this poem and thought every thing was perfect in it, well it was to me anyway, You had a brillant idea for this poem and it worked well. good job.
Mary -
Nice work. and the rhyming's good to
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