Good-bye. Good…bye. Sound it out in those melancholy syllables, let them wrap around your mind and stab at your lips as fangs of an ill formed serpent. Those bastard words of every language on everyone’s mind and in their hearts and souls....tear them out. Tear them out of your mind, I NEED THEM TORN! I lost you! I lost you, I lost you, and I lost you to those words! That damnable pestilence of letters…together for the first time on your lips just to be the last…Good-bye…OH GOD I LOST YOU!
How you hurt me…God those red fingerprints on that letter, scrawled with sloping letters, oh those fragile fragments of your last breathes. Those last breathes, those sacrilege seconds of dotting swollen I’s and crossing T’s like crucifixes…why were they your last? Where were your fingers last night? Not on my lips…not in my hair…not stained with ink and blood…not on some bleeding, smiling trigger! Oh god…my love…my obsessions…how they rise for you…how they inhale the air you surrendered.
Oh my Hell of Hells spit out that harlot of darkness…that child of dark despair that flew into your embrace. Release your unholy grasp on her neck; she is not welcome in your shriveled heart, in your homicide stare, in your assassin’s bed.
TAKE ME! Take me…make me a chemical mind, make me everything I could ever ask for, make me a fiend of my angel. My angel, oh God how I begged you, sultry temptress of death, how I begged you to drop it…drop that relishing instrument of the requiem mass…that revolver of clashing metal and no heart. No heart to neither bleed nor cry as love ricocheted in the echo of a trigger.
These arms…my arms…begging your lips for breaths stolen naught by my kisses. These eyes…oh God these eyes begging to see your diaphragm rise and fall again…as it did once under a dewy moon and retrospectives of passion…of my undying love. These ears…begging to hear your voice one last time. Just once more, that’s all I want, just one more time…just one more time!
Oh my love…touch me again…make me fly as you soul does now. Good-bye Good…bye…those damnable words. Oh God good-bye, goodbye…I have lost you now…leave me…its over. I love you.
Author notes
Wow...wtf. Where did that come from? In case you're wondering this is from a guy's view when his girlfriend commits suicide. I'm not I guy, I would not know what this is like. Just for the record, No I'm not a cutter, nor do I believe in it. But yes, I am quite insane actually.
Written October 1st, 2005
A contest entry
- Hate,Pain,Anger by Where Is Your Heart.
312 points, ended January 27, 2006, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
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amazingly emotional and beautiful (I LOVE IT!
Holy crap! That was amazing...gosh...I feel so inadiquate (if that isn't how you spell it, sorry). I loved that poem. It was so emotional and darkly beautiful. I could feel the emotion and despair just fly from the words. I give it a definant 6 outta 5 (yes, I know what I am talking about). Keep writting! -
Wow. This is more than I could express words for. It's definitely brilliant. It's amazing. EXCELLENT job.
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beautiful..
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wow... truly amazing...sheer poetry... wonderful ~DK
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i enjoyed it. its twisted
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wow
you are a fucking brilliant writer i do have to say,its amazing!!!! -
This was great I'm adding u as a favorite!
CrimsonCatalyst -
wow this was amazing. probably one of the best writes ive read on this site and i've read a lot! your emotions and discreetmess were so impressive along with your vocabulary and description. im literally blown away, i counldn't peel my eyes away from the screen. Wow im so impressed this was awesome.
angi -
awesome
awesome I really like it I like to read dark stuff its intresting ( I am insane too -
very original!
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A lot of emotion strung through your intensive lines... Very dark prose, a lot of orignality!!!
Lady anairO
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Wow! This is incredible. It's so emotional and passionate. I liked the rhyme that slipped in almost unnoticed... "These eyes…oh God these eyes begging to see your diaphragm rise", it was really effective.
The picture is beautiful too, gives a nice touch when you're reading this. Amazing work 
Rosie x -
gravyyyy!!!!!!!!
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yeah love it alot love the emotion the flow the form you can feel all the emotion coming out of it this is relaly a great work of art absolutley astonishing i have not read better or at least for the category i was aww stricken by this almost cried i loved it so much keep up the good work -
I Almost Cried! *I've never had a poem do that before!!!* I Love Every Ounce Of Emotion You Have Spilling From This!It's Wonderful Work! This Is The Best Dark Poem I've EVER Read!!! Keep It Up!
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ok it won't let you applaud more than once so im gunna feature it for yoou
. coz its so fuckin brilliant! hehe. x
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WOW! OMG this is fucking stunning write. it is seriously powerful, dark, deep, heartbreaking and a pacy gorgous read. WOW! WOW... umm yeh i dont know what else 2 say. i will bookmark this nw and try to applaud more than once! lol... WOW! x dwy x
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Damn, that was amazing. The emotion stressed in every word. The vivid images captured and enhanced by the incredible text. The intensity, the horror, the pure love found in each statement. Unbelievable. Absolutly unbelievable.
-Moose: OUT -
wow this is amazing .. normally when i comment i leave some long-winded commetn on how great the piece was.. but all i am going to say is.. wow.. you left me speechless.
Yours,
FlavoredPoison -
This is absolutley Fabulous. Very dark...but in a different way than I had thought it. I'm so glad that you put this into the contest! I am very pleased that this is here. It flows very well and I think you did a fantastic job on the portrayal. Very well done! I applaud you on this!
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
-Catalyst -
YAY!
WOW! *drops his jaw and stares at the awesome... ness of this poem*
that... was cool. -
haha wow. I really didn't think this would go over well. I just sort of had an emotional splurge when I wrote this. I'm really happy people like this
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Perfect
Wow.... That's all I can say... This is soooo perfect, the exact style. format, words... So awesome, so dark.. It makes me want to bask in the misery... I am happy for you, this is too dark to be bad... I think I love you, lol... Just, awe-inspiring... Perfection in a poem... WOW -
Perfect
I really love this poem. Your a really good writer -
right now, there's a black guy that's loving this soooo much
i'm glad i added you to my favorites, now i can read you anytime i wanna!
i love the last few lines
"Oh my love…touch me again…make me fly as you soul does now. Good-bye Good…bye…those damnable words. Oh God good-bye, goodbye…I have lost you now…leave me…its over. I love you.
i llove the final moments of frustration, love, and general misery of it.
make more dark prose, me love you long time! -
i definitely really really really enjoyed. Probably because of the great descriptiveness and that it flowed together very well! thanx for the great read keep it up
miranda<3 -
Holy...shit..
I......I have no words for this...
It has me stunned, breathless, Longing for something to hold on to..
God damn...
~Desh~
Ill try and collect myself and come back with a real comment -
beautiful
Remember me? Sorry I went through alotof stuff so I never fufilled my end of the AP family bargain. but I plan to now. I love yours words and whole damn prose. You write very similar to my sister. this kind of writing is my favorite. despite the fact that you are not a guy, your images and fluent way with language is stunning. The thing itself draws you in. So alluring. I read it about three times. It's more than a brillant write.
__kat ___ (will you still be my evil older sister?) -
I think it is pretty good I do a lot of cutting poems also and I don't know where they come from I am not a cutter nor am I morbid but it seems to come more easily to me then other types so I write them I could see this quite well in my mind and I loved the picture that accompanied it...almost reminded me of the Playstaion game FATAL FRAME love it.
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WHAT THE FUCK!!! THAT WAS SOME AMAZING SHIT, OMG THAT WAS AWESOME!!! YOUR A GOOD ASS WRITEER!!!
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know wounder why you have all those troughs. that was long and very great. if i had the time i would think it inspired me but i dont have the time to write down my thoughts right now to deprest for it. well i better go
peacce Russell -
Theres only so much I can say about this dark write it is very dark and very emotional and raw yet it is brilliantly penned so
That the reader is tranced with the images ripping through them
Like I said congradulations on this brilliant write I will be back to read more later again thank you very very much.. -
awe-inspiring. this was just wonderful, the pain the torment you can almost hear the tears in the words. great, no awesome job...
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This was very raw, very emotional. It sort of forged itself deep into my heart. In a way, this is remarkably romantic....in a dark way, and I admire that.
I read this a couple times, and I don't know why but I wish to have this feeling, to know how this feeling....feels. It seems like an interesting emotion that I would like to one day feel....maybe it's stupid of me, but I can't help it. Your words touched me, I hope they touch someone else as they have me. -
now thats what im talking about...simply incredible
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The word I would use is said above ^^ remarkable!!! This is so amazing I can't even tell you how much I love it. It flows SO well and you put so much emotion in it that I could feel it with every word. You did an *excellent* job with this, and I absolutely loved it!!
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omg what is there to say that already hasn't out of this world totally awesome. Swalloed up in darkenn like no light. Awesome.
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wow this was...idk theres no word to describe it...incrediable?? amazing?? lol those don't seem to fit it but it i really loveddd it!!
ur such a talented writer and i really think u could get somewhere with it
great job
-Diya -
My heart broke as I read this... VERY powerful write. The raw emotion & fantastic imagery within every well chosen word. I saw every scene printed here, & though it was disturbing, it was also very gripping.
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all i can say is....W O W ! ! !...the imagery was out of this world. I felt like, as I was reading it, that this was me. That I was going through this again. Anyway...very nicely done and keep up the good work.
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Ayla...you scared me and made me cry....that's not very nice...but anyway, this is a great write, my love and I hope to read more new things from you soon.
Your Lestat -
thank you for giving me more than one line
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I love it.
That was remarkable, expecially for someone who did not expience this. The imagery and feeling were there. This was simply amazing. By the content of this poem I really fiond it hard to belive that this was not an expience that this was not first hand. Wow, ...unbelieveable.... I love this piece it is simply yet remarkable gorgeous. An applaud for you. -
beautiful
what an amazing write. filled with grief and love
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awsome
very powerful and sorrowful. dark as well. i like it -
very dark...makes me shiver in darkness...
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A sad state of affairs when one takes one's life and the other blames themselves for it, couldn't stop it. Very deep and tragic.
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awsome
I liked it. I love the visuals it gives powerful stuff -
...O.o
Wow...um....wow. lol very interesting. Strange that it was written by you, but good nontheless. -
Whoaaaaaaaa. That was brilliant my little one.
Hugs, Mum
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