Sometimes I feel so all alone, even in a crowd
It seems there's someone deep inside, afraid to cry aloud.
Don't look at me! Don't look at me, sometimes I want to say
For if you see the real me, I'm afraid you'll turn away.
The real me! That's a laugh! For I don't even know
The person lying deep within that never wants to show.
The pain, the hurt, the feeling of loss, is something I must hide.
If I could build a wall around my heart, then you can't see inside.
Low of ego, that's not it, I never had any from the start
That was all taken away, when my parents decided to depart.
Leaving behind a newborn child, for reasons still unknown
Their love they should have given me, has never once been shown.
What did I do? Why did they leave me? The questions are always there.
How could they leave their very own child, did they really just not care?
Though left to ones with so much love, for me they'd give their life
The love that kept the outward calm, could not heal the inner strife.
Though I am fully grown today, with a family I love dear
The love my husband and I had, grew more and more each year.
Even they don't know the real me, a part I could not share
The fear of being turned away, was more than I could bear.
I know the time will soon come, when this world I will depart
Family and friends I love so dear, I'll keep within my heart.
When I stand before my Lord and King, my tears He will erase.
His joy and peace will fill my soul, especially my secret place.
Author notes
It took a lot out of me to write this one. I think of it as my "cleansing" poem.
Written September 30th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Beautifully Written!
Though I cannot fully understand the human emotions one feels who has been adopted, I can relate to it in a spiritual sense, in having been adopted into God's family. But I certainly identified with many of the inward feelings and fears you've expressed here, through certain hidden aspects of my own life. Well done!
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Sis...I did not know about your beginnings...I adopted my son, and this year he was reunited with his birth Mom...We are very good friends. I share your pain, in I am where you are right now..May we decide to pray for one another as we both know the awkwardness of our time in life..Well well written!
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I know what you mean. But thankfully you have "Christ" to help you. I do not believe in "The Lord Your God". I have tried many different religions and none seem right for me. But at least some people have a happy ending.
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awe so sad
Tis was truly beautiful write my favorite of yours though so sad it has a tender touch.I just want you to know in my heart there is always a place for you to in my secret part.
God Bless
A friend Always though were miles apart.
Sharon
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Wow,
you can just see a piece of you in this. Like you truly exist in this poem. I didn't even notice that you rhymed that is how greatly it flowed lol. And i just love how you show all this downer emotion and the whole leave us with hope. Till we come to your conclusion that everything will be alright. Its all ok ya know?
I really give you a lot of respect for sharing something this deep from within your soul, and it's just a really wonderful enjoyable work. Thank you much love
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What a sad but beautifully written piece! I am so sorry to read that you were abandon as a child. What a terrible reality for any human being to face. I wish you all the best in life and thank you for sharing your story with all of us here! It takes a lot to write something like this out but, I am sure that it did help you. Take care and keep up the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826
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Thank you very much. I turned out alright, I think. lol In all sincerity, I very much appreciate your thoughts and comments. It feels good to know there are still those that care. God bless.
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