Subtle Sense, sweet soothing sensible surety
Perfect paradise, painted peaceful pure purity
Tranquil temptation, twisted tasty truthfully torn
Burning beam, Beautiful bold best born
Author notes
Erm words like "of, "the" , "a", "with" are intentionally not placed in this poem even though they shud have been there. So nope nope complains ... and i am extremely sorry to all of you for being too late to post this write
*Take Cares*
*Miss Me*
-Vic
Written September 29th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
-
Short, and so full of alliteration, like random words placed together to concoct a beautiful soothing potion.
Your four lines are very deep, showing the twist of events and the new hope that has born within. Lovely write!
-
it is an amazing poem! gr8. only a gr8 poet can write such kind of poems with the erm words and you did it!
Vic you an allrounder!
Be it a poem with humor, or be it a poem that passes a messaged, be it a poem for sister's love or be it a serious poem that of a saint! But this one is really a fabulous one!
Keep it up..!
-
AWESOME
And a new category is born!!!!!!!!! Vocabulary for Infants....level of words suitable for feeding the brains of infants have been set keeping in mind tht we will be seeing them soon here as the next esoteric rare creation of creativity......lol..... -
quite interesting...
Quite interesting write here, Vic...Keep on penning
-
still smiling
i always smile when i see first letter poems like this. especially when they amount to more than a glorified lyric.
i wish i had time to sit down and practice this. its amazing how it expands your ability express.
dark minstrel -
short & sweet...simplisticly divine
-
omg.... i don't know why this poem received so many applauds... i really don't. this is bad, just horrible. OMG... my eyes hurt.
ok, i'm just being stupid. lol. hehe. great poem, buddy. well written, and apleasure to read. i like that u kept out the "with" and stuff. it makes it so poetic and special.
i'll applaud it b/c i like it
-
Very nice write Vic
-
It's a wonderful poem my dear Vic.I love your alliterations.They are done very well.
Shahrzad
-
yes i do have 1 more such alliterated poem, but i have stopped posting my poems on AP these days, i just dunno when i will post it for anyone to read it..
anyways.. again yes, i have To Respected 1 and 2.. all these poems are made for Laura Lamarca .. so all the poem i made for laura lamarca are titled as "To respected".. thank you VERY much for reading my work.. ..
take cares and have anice time
- vic -
A+++
Hmmmm..now i can see why you've named your self eternalpoet...cause your words will eternally live forever and ever in your reader's soul..This an absolute marvelous piece my friend..Alliteration just cannot get beteer than this it..cannot..Another masterpiece in the making..All I can say is...WOW!..Umm do u have more like this, If so please make sure u send it my way..it's a pleasure to reead stuff like this..short and very sweet..U must have put a lot of effort into it but I noticed the title was.."To respected...(3)..what was the 3 for..Do u have a 1 & 2 aswell.Please let me know, Thanx and keep up the great work!!! -
this was a real treat to read. it is hard to find just the right words for the letters you are using at that time and this was wondeful.
-
you're so goddamned CUTE; even your author page is CUTE with all those hearts and stuff 
Love the alliteration in this one.
-
Actually this was made for a contest , the contest date was specially extended for my entry. Thats why i had to apologize to everyone to be late . And If you know AP internally, you will come to know there is lotsa space for "SORRY" on AP, in AP, both
thanks for sharing my dear friend
- vic to anoushka
-
Hi Vic, Thats good, i enjoyed it.keep writing, also there is no place for sorry on AP. take Care.. Anu
-
excellent poem eternalpoet, and i loike the alliteration in each line, very well done nice one
keep up the great work
best wishes as always
-Cool Oasis-
-
Excellent
Excellent Vic.Keep it up -
In such few words you have beautifully expressed yourself. Great use of alliteration. Keep up the excellent work!!!
-
so wonderful sweetpea, keep it up!
~Alea -
Awesome!
Wow, sweety... this is so full of praise and emotion! I love the way you made the first letter in each line the same... unusual style and meaningful keep up the wonderful work!
-
Hello my little Chickadee, this is a lovely poem for Laura.
It's hard to write without of theA but you have done it brilliantly. AWWW I'm sorry you didn't make the contest.
Your pluff pluff spongy doll Jenni
Edited on Oct 05, 5:24 p.m. because ''. -
no.. i wasnt trying to make any image.. i just wrote down what Laura Lamarca is in this write ... this poem is dedicated to her... each word has its own connection with her .. hope u get it
thanks for readin.. and erm.. i already got reading vacation.. had a cool practical exams .. noe working on theory .. lol.. hope to talk to u soon
- vic to sarah (diwata)
Edited on Oct 05, 2:06 because 'tee hee'. -
wow...the poem went well though "of", "a" etc. were not in it.
It was PURRRFECT just the way it is...why?
You had an excellent choice of words dear...
And they went so well!
Though the picture it created in my mind was abstract, it sure was beautiful.Very very nice.
---need I say more??
Take care and keep on writing!!! I'd love to read more of you this sembreak
-
Oh this is simply beautiful!!!!!! It really made me FEEL..........I'm not gonna say what though....I am pretty sure you know.
~Brandi~ -
hey vic this is short and sweet i like it
love ya
-^~Danielle~^- -
I like this alot, very deep and the words are pefect, gives off alot of feeling to the reader, simple yet complicated, great write
much love
always
~ vini ~ -
lots of emotional feelings and touches that flow in this small poem, great write and deep meanings ,thanks for sharing this pretty piece with us .. Linda
-
Very Well Done
A georgious descriptive peace. I like your use of words that begin with the same letter .....and rhyme, too I'd hate to play Scrabble with you, but I love to read your work and enjoy the wordplay, flow and imagery
-
5 stars
I like it. I like how you flowed your words it seemed quick and very personal. Bravo Vic*hugs* Keep it up
-
hey lady thank you very very much for reading this write ... well i am not kind of able to find time to read stuffs these days.. kindly wait till i get off with my exams .. i hope u dun mind it though
hugs and kisses
- vic t0 mellissa (mickie27) -
there was no electricity here .. and the contest was to end in few minutes.. i send an sms to Laura Lamarca about that stuff... she extended the contest that very moment .. lol... thanks for wonderful comment u silly fairy
- vic to kerry (acid fairy) -
This is something I am not used to. It is a style that seems quite different from your usual poetry. It is of exceptional standard and is wonderful to read. It is filled with words that describe so many different things. I really enjoyed reading this and felt it was very powerful. I love the way you have used alliteration and limited Erm words because that added much more power. It is great to see you writing again.
-
Vic This is fantabulous
I love the words, they are great! Whats this about a text all across the world to laura Lamarca?!? lol Good write
-
Uh huh...I see...well you had wonderful diction, all your words provdided images of serenity, but tell me, what has made you so happy?yeah I miss you too, lots
miss ya Love ya, take care Ruth
-
hey vic short but awesome love it you rock
-
talented!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey vic, I was just starting to wonder when you went and what happened to all your poems, well not I know your back on line. this is a good write and I am glad that you wrote it. great job anyway and I see you later,
welcome back,
Mary
-
s beautiful use of alliteration Vic. Connecting words are often over used in poetry I find that in my poems I can easily eliminate most words like, "the, and, for" of course they are often needed words when writing in stressed and unstressed meter and when counting syllables. Great write. Best wishes and s... ~genie~
-
Nice..the alliteration is so profound..I guess the missing of 'of the and a' provides the write with an extra dose of creativity..lol..Goodluck at the contest though I don't know if you submitted it in time.
-
I love this & I love you & that text message from all the way across the world, explaining why you couldnt get on AP & asking for a little extension, will always mean the world to me, so Thank you son
-
I have to say that I found this piece beautiful, it was simple but straight foward and made sence even though those words are not inclueded...
Amazing work my dear vic!
LuV Alwayz
Nikki -
Thank you for your entry & good luck!! We have a little extension to play with old chocos cos I told my sister you'd gone to buy new ones Sorry Vic...hehe....but I just had to take advantage of the situation Mums
-
exceptional use of alliteration! not too overbearing and still makes sense...you are just too good!
Adding your comment:
1 - 42 of 42
