Black and white
Strokes in airbrush
Photo lines
Captured her
slide show past and
present strokes
On canvas
Show tinted laugh
Whither pale
Against the blowing
Winter's cold falling snow
Stood her rose frozen
Tranquil complexities
Breath silence appeal
Stroking mist shade defines
Her imprint lines paint
A tinge memory form
Season mold her sigh
Charm her semblance photo
Against the gloss print
Rubbed her blue hands hold
Tainted grasp
Past in photos
Yesteryear
Darkness tint,
Similitude,
Virgin snow
Past light faint,
Quiet in deform,
Vision storm’s hues
In her album’s memory all glossed in acrylic paint
Author notes
Nibor form- I've read and commented on Miracle of Children-by Grossmutti for the contest. This is my first attempt to a Nibor form
Written September 29th, 2005
A contest entry
- Round One: Prewrites Only by reckless abandon.
330 points, ended July 23, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 51-55 ages enter your best prewrite Judged by RedwingSpirit.
475 points, ended January 18, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ pre-writes ~ by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended May 8, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your favorite Prewrite by SignifyingNothing.
875 points, ended August 9, 2008, 112 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites? Sure! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended August 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Three Pre-writes by piccola.
800 points, ended November 27, 2008, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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whats nibor form?????????plzzz read rules...
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unfortunately my mind does not work in complexities if at all. This is beautiful of course and I love the imagery ... it's just hard for me to understand. Thank you for the entry
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Season mold her sigh
Charm her semblance photo
Against the gloss print
Rubbed her blue hands hold
Beautiful. Good luck!
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Excellent. I'm not familiar with this form, but I'm impressed. It's snippits of images, not complete ones, really, but interesting stuff. Congratulations on the honorable mention. I like this background too. Very interesting write. Thanks for entering!
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thank u
Thank u for the wonderful comments given to my poem. I learned this form from a wonderful poet no longer here at AP. Hope she comes back too. Saddie23
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thank you for your entry and good luck
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I have not yet heard of this form. Excellent write love the flow and vocabulary of it. Thank you for taking the time to enter this into my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
Redwing Spirit
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I loved the beginning of this. It's beautifully written and nicely put together, but moving into the rest of the poem, it really started to lose meaning and focus. Thanks much for entering and good luck!
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Thank you for the niciest comment on my poem.Saddie23
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Having just checked your profile, I believe that you are using multiple names to enter my contest and get around the rules. This is not funny, it is not fair to the other entrants and so I will be disqualifying you from the contest. You didn't just ignore the rules, you deliberately cheated, and that is a personal hate of mine.
The following user-names were used by yourself to try and cheat in this contest :
allpoetry.com/saddie23
allpoetry.com/haley27
allpoetry.com/kendhal22
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This free verse write in nibor form liking doing a haiku but structured in 1.) 3 stanza lines of three with syllable count of 3/4/3,2.) next 3 stanzas set of 4 with syllable count 5/6/5/6, 3.) last 3 same as the first in 3 in count, 4.) Last line has to rhyme with the first line in the last stanza. This form I learned from Sector Hunter, which I use frequently now since I'm liking this style of writing. Saddie23
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I'm sorry, saddie23, but I didn't understand this poem at all. it's not in complete sentences, and very often you left out the word which effects the sentence the most--the VERB.
Also, what are you describing??
The stanza which made the least sence to me was
"Breath silence appeal
Stroking mist shade defines
Her imprint lines paint
A tinge memory form"
Umm... yea. I believe I've said enough. -
This my best writing so far and now your DQing it. I feel came around a mile stone and lost, but thanks for keeping me this long in the running. Saddie23
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This is a tough round and this very good poem I am finding myself saying "no" to. Thank you for entering for to make it this far you have to be writing well.
David -
Thanks. Saddie23
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Shortlisted
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Explain by shortlisted what you mean? Saddie23
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shortlisted
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I tried to give you a message earlier, but couldn't get through. I'm glad you approve. It took me a day rest at the state fair to regroup how I could make it better and it worked. Tnank you. Saddie23
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Thank you for your hard work on this
you cleand it up really well
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Thank you for stopping bye and I'm glad your given us time clear loose ends. Saddie23
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Hello just wanted to pop in here and askyou to please look back over the poem I want everyone to have a shot at Gold this was a really well put together poem and I do not want to over look in when the contest closes thank you again for entering lots of love Robin...aka SH
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Did I do this right or is the form off? Saddie23
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I thought this was really good nice work on it thanks for takeing a stab at this form in some spots I think the count is a little off but other than that this was a great poem lots of love Robin...aka SH
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Thanks for the comments. This is my first time doing a Nibor form and I not quiet sure if this exactly write. Saddie23
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Very Well Done
An intesting read, I'm not familiar with nibor, but it is good whatever the form.
Winter and photographs hmmmm....I'll have to think on that awhile. Excellent imagery. Thanks.
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