The twilight years have found me standing upon
the sands of an hourglass that, unnoticed till
now, have been quickly draining away. I find
myself trapped by the glass of mortality
that confines me to an unknown fate.
Suddenly frightened, I claw at the
impregnable walls of my
prison, till, on my
hands and knees
I pray for
salvation
to a
God
I
do not
know or
understand.
As the uncaring
sands continue their
irresolute journey beyond.
I think, “Had I ever really known
how fast my allotted time would pass,
would I then have taken a different path,
made different choices? Perhaps, I do not know
with certainty. I do know, that I tried to do my best.
With that I must be satisfied, for I cannot change what
has already been done. The best I can do is scratch out
a warning upon the hourglass of time before my sand runs out...
Oh youth, with your reckless habits
Beware the folly of your ways.
For foolishness can quickly lead you
To the depths of an unmarked grave.
Author notes
Written September 29th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Very well written and a joy to read. I feel on the subject of choice is not making a choice is a choice. Life indeed has so many opptions
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The form you used the woderful words penned with great skill. Out standing all tje way.
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Awesome write here
This is the very best of this kind of works I have read yet .It screams to the young to take a moment and look at wht they do before they do it and take care of themselves
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Very imaginative write.
Excellent thought pattern and I loved the last stanza.
Jim
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What an awesome piece! Amazing how many things we find we would change if only we could! I very much enjoyed reading this; it's constructed wonderfully and written with a fine wisdom and understanding! Thank you for the opportunity to be able to read this!
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It is surprising how you can read something over and over yet still not see your error till someone else points it out. I wonder how often in life we do things wrong and don't see them as a result we repeat them over and over again till. Sounds like the definition of insanity doesn't it? repeating the same action and expecting different results. Lauging, I think we are all a bit insane.
Thank you for the proof read. I never would have seen it.
Dennis -
I see exactly what you mean, Dennis.
In terms of the thematic connection, you were right. I love the word placement! Your depiction of an hourglass was beautiful, both the words that described it and the physical shape of the words. It reminds me of a poem (whose name I cannot remember, I'm so sorry but now I'm being one of those annoying people who don't post a link!) which was written in the physical shape of a swan. It was in the book that we studied for sophomore English.
Your clear articulation of so many fears gives me chills... Aging is definitely one of the things I dread most. That and deep water and death. Your word choice was very nice. I like how you chose words with specific connotations that added layers and layers to the meaning of this write. "Reckless", "folly", "twilight", and "glass" are just examples...
I noticed a small typo... In the line "know, have been quickly draining away. I find" the word "know" should be "now". I did like the enjambment, too...
Great write! I look forward to reading more of your work!
s
Kyla -
A very astute observation on aging. Doing the best we can is the best we can do. I have found that now that I am in that waning period of life, that I do not want to have any more regrets added. I want to live life to the fullest and maybe take chances I never would have done when I was younger.
I love the image you painted with your words and the shape they formed. An excellent write. -
Dennis, you have displayed these words so artfully, both visually and from the heart. One of my relatives used to tell me that "man's extremity is God's opportunity." The older I become, the less I seem to know. Time leaves the marks of age materially, and we measure so much by it, but spirit can't be contained. Spirit only knows now because it is immeasurably infinite! Unfolding in accord with our recognition of The Light. Divine Love is the source. Mortality cannot contain it, either!
Peace, my friend. I so appreciate this. Karen
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great write... Time is on our side, all we have to do is use it wisely. but who has time to do that... especially if you are a procrastinator like me. lol... Like the hourglass effect.
Hugs Lori
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thats really good... i love the way you made it look like a timer!
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wow! very spiffy! i love the imagery and the hidden morale.
great job! -
Nice work. -Al
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very good concrete poetry write! I haven't seen nor one of these in ages, but your's was very good poem and picture to boot! really outstanding work with this one...i know the keeping the "picture" of the poem can be difficult, but you did well!
Jo -
Wonderful writing. The words were well thought out and meaningful. The hourglass shape, even though you said it didnt work out due to space, was still there enough to look good. Very impressive write over all!!
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Thank you Queen for your kind comments and applause.
Apreciated
Dennis
PS I was editing it a bit when you posted...lol -
Time has a way of slipping away. I was thinking just yesterday that i am the same age as my parents were when i brough my husband home. Time is getting away from us all. All we can do is do our best with the time we have I like the shape of this.
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Awesome
I figured you were going for the shape too bad about that...still though, this is a nice piece. It's cool how you are placed in this situation and you suddenly regret doing the things in your past that got you there. Awesome. -
It is supposed to form an hour glass with the words, Alicia. But alas The space alloted was not large enough for it to keep its original shape..Pout
I have edited it since then to conform to the available space in order to regain a semblence of its former shape. pheww, Whipes the sweat off his brow.
Edited on Oct 01, 8:09 because ''. -
what an interesting poem i enjoy your style of writeing
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