I came across this ancient path and walked towards the light
and wondered why the end of lane, was still so shining bright.
My fantasy began to work and in my mind arose,
a picture of a little girl and who she was? Who knows.
She walked this lane quite frequently, her hand in Daddy’s hand
and he showed her the beauty and the secrets of this land.
He told her: "look those rows of trees, are planted long before,
the day that you were born my sweet and always there’ll be more".
"They’re growing tall and up above, their branches will connect,
they shelter us when sun is hot, thus treat them with respect".
The little girl looked up the trees and suddenly she saw,
a little chipmunk, sitting there and he waved with his paw.
"Look here", he said: "this is my home and you are welcome dear,
to visit my place any time, whenever you are here".
The little girl looked at her Dad, but he showed not one sign,
that he had seen the chipmunk too and she thought: "he is mine".
Her Daddy pointed down below, towards the cobbled stone.
"If you should count each one your friend, you’ll never be alone".
She started counting, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten, eleven, twelve and more, "I’m counting Daddy, wait".
"So many friends I’ve never had and they’ll be always there
and when I set my foot on them, they do not really care".
Her Daddy took her hand again and showed her the green grass,
"They may look all the same to you, but they are not my lass".
"Look close and you will see the beauty in each blade of green
and different flowers of a kind, fast people’ve never seen".
One flower smiled when she looked down and said in whispering voice:
"Whenever you want to lay down, make this your place of choice".
Then slowly they came to the end, where sun was shining bright,
her Daddy said: "when you feel lost just walk towards that light
and even if I’m not around, you’ll feel that warm embrace,
of nature kissing you my lass, right there on your sweet face".
That’s what I thought, when I walked down, this lane of history
and in my mind I knew right there, that little girl? Is me!
Author notes
I've chosen the Ballad form in which I wrote a piece, dedicated to my father, who showed me the beauty of nature.
In short: A Ballad is a rhyming 'song', telling a story. There are many variants. I've chosen one that consists of 14 syllables in each line, four lines in each stanza, rhyming aabb.
One must not confuse Balad with the French Ballade, which is a different form. Further info may be obtained at www.noggs.dsl.pipex.com/vf/index.htm
Written September 29th, 2005
In a list
- Family • next in list
- Nature/Poems • next in list
- 4. Honorable Winner • next in list
- 2. Silver • next in list
A contest entry
- GROUP MEMBERS OF TROPHIES THAT SHINE ONLY by Trophies That Shine.
1000 points, ended January 19, 2007, 30 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyming poems of all sorts, please submit here by Aurora Calliope.
300 points, ended April 11, 2007, 77 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Gold" this time by Virgoan.
550 points, ended June 6, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn that Silver into Gold by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended February 2, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme and Flow part 2 Children's - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended June 3, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Thank you for your beautiful entry in our contest for children. Both the form, words and picture work together very well and this was a joy to read.
Please join us in future contests as we would love to read more from you...Sue and Jeff
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Nice ballad. The rhyming is beautiful and serene as I read the lines. Very blissful bringing the readers a moment to smile and reflect.
My favorite lines:
Look close and you will see the beauty in each blade of green
And different flowers of a kind fast people’ve never seen
One flower smiled when she looked down and said in whispering voice
‘Whenever you want to lay down, make this your place of choice’
Wonderful lines bringing forth a moment, a rarity.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
~VIRGOAN~
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Thanks for your comment, glad you enjoyed it. I think a ballad is a beautiful form to tell a tale.
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Great work, i'm quite a sucker for ballads myself, and so i'm well versed in the different forms. I've read and written innumerable numbers of them, and have even hosted several contests dedicated to the form. Enough about me...
To the nature of your poem, I found it very enjoyable, and remember having several adventures of that like myself (though my father wasn't the hand holding type... meh) actually my most recent poem contains and account of my own adventures. To yours however, you managed to capture the perspective of a child very well, and express the magic that they see in other things that grown up people miss. You've done an admirable job on this entry and i have no complaints, thanks for entering and best of luck, my friend! -
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Thanks for your comment and you're so right that kids see things differently than adults.
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oh wow this was very deep and a great form to..you've done wonderful. The best of luck to you in the contest.
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just a wonderful poem you've penned here love the form, style and the picture !! just all around a great show of talent...
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Dark side eternal, thank you so much for your comment and that lovely poem. Isn't internet amazing, here I am, being a Dutchie, your are an Egyptian and we met at an American poetry site. I'll soon take a peek at your poetry.
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honestly i am in an awe,
i am new to forms of poetry, but i know the ballad form,
you did splendidly well,
your poem just sparkled and stood out so strong
despite to lurking eyes it may seem long,
it truley did affect me in a way,
chanced not the thoughts of me to fool or stray,
The ancient path is truley one great piece,
A one of deep meanings of love and peace.
A least of what i can say to you,
and i am honoured to compete with the likes of poets u are among,
btw, english is not my native tongue as well..hehe
good luck poet -
Hi Linda, thanks for your nice words. Try a ballad one day, it's fun to do, but mind the metre... da-dum-da-dum and 14 syllables in a line, telling a story.
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Thanks for your comment. I like form poetry and though it sometimes is hard to do (I'm a Dutchie and English is not my native language) I always try to do them right. I'm always keeping my pen to the paper or better...my mouse on the screen LOL
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this is beautiful!! I am aware of this form but never wrote one, beautifully written to be heard loud and clear..thank you for sharing, good luck in the contest..Linda
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Thank you for entering this piece of poetry. Most poets do not understand forms let alone a Ballad. Good luck! Keep the pen to the paper.
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Excellent
Wow, very deep. I like the chipmunk part, thats cute. Most long poems die out and get boring. Yours though did not, it had me intrested until the last line and then I was hoping for more. Your choice of words are good and it flows well. Also very nice descriptiveness.
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