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Bound Kin

The sun is black,
the sky is deep
as the liquid cools
from its midnight seep

Cold steel replaced
within its box
Clattering shivers
and their locks

Red sun of torture
Black moon of pain
Whips of lightning
to keep her sane

Be good, little pet,
if you please
Quiet, obedient
to get release

Demented minds,
hard to the core
Little slave
cries for more

Dark desires,
unholy sin
Bound to his side;
his female kin

Author notes

I haven't a clue how this poem turned to bdsm...but it seems to be about Aimon and Lotta, two of my newer characters.

If you're against incest, that's fine. I gave fair warning in the summary, so you should've known before clicking. No bashing please.
Written September 27th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Seven Kinky
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    *bashes you...

    ...with PRAISE!* HA! Gotcha. You totally thought I was gonna be a douchebag, didn't you?! *points and laughs* *catches a shoe to the head* OW, ROSE! 0_0;

    Fine, fine! You want your comment? Here's your stinkin' comment:

    I never really thought incest was interesting to read about until I met you. This was a hot little ditty and I'm mad at you for being so good at what you do.

    NER!


    • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
      August 12
      Edit | Reply
      Ahahahaha...if only you could have read the one we had gonig where Diente tried to pass of as Shar. Sharazon wanted to kill him. But he only backhanded him and left.
      Poor Kira...I guess she's just too darn affectionate.

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    September 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks.

  • tearsofsilence gold member
    September 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Cold steel replaced
    within its box
    Clattering shivers
    and their locks

    Red sun of torture
    Black moon of pain
    Whips of lightning
    to keep her sane

    Be good, little pet,
    if you please
    Quiet, obedient
    to get release

    You always surprise me with your words and your talent. Excellent writing. Amazing description adn rhyming. Keep up the great work honey. You are awesome! Kahy

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    October 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well, thank you.

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    October 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I actually have quite a few bdsm poems now. As for deserving better...*shrug* You get what you get. Thank you for commenting.

  • DarkenedAuras
    October 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was awesome bdsm or not lol....great flow and perfect rhyme, Loved the poem overall it was just great. I think you may have deserved better than bronze but I wasn't the contest holder so...Good luck in future writes perhaps you will have more with the same feel unless you already do lol

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    September 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Warnings are useful that way. Glad you liked it. Good luck with judging.
  • Imagine3
    September 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    OMG awsome, I absolutly love this poem (thank god i read the warning lol) very good, and very talented. Exactly what im looking for. Good Luck.

    -Sasha

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This wasn't even supposed to be bdsm! The first few stanzas of the poem sounds a bit off to me, but I guess I at least managed to make a good rhyme? Thanks, sweetie.

  • crimsonshadow
    September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Woo, pretty. *nods* I don't know how you can manage to rhyme a poem about this particular topic and not take away from the imagery and feel of the piece, but I rather envy you. Mhmm. I like it.
    -me

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Sparrow, darling. Glad you liked it.

  • Rose Dark Thorn gold member
    September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you. I wrote it today just off the top of my head.

  • September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Red sun of torture
    Black moon of pain
    Whips of lightning
    to keep her sane

    That is AMAZING.
    I love whips in poetry. You made it sound so... beautiful.

  • Yunaleska gold member
    September 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is so dark and...I don't know but it's brilliantly written. I didn't see the warning but I figured it might be Lotta and Aimon. This is a great write anyway! I especially love the first three stanzas. They're amazing!
1 - 16 of 16