So sweet, He is
playful in the twirl of autumn's hush
from behind sticks and brush to
hovering round the Eastern star.
Romances - prompting passed the storms
the song in me, dove in the gale
flutter
flutter sweet, now, dear.
a symphony conducted by
the wooing Creator
winking between clouds and sun
peeking through his spatial pillars
that joist the heavens; I smile
and sing
I seeeeeee youuuuuu
Always, I see you
In a world no man could make
flawless in order, rhythmed by
Oceanic tears , joy, thunder and roses.
who violins me
trumpets my being by visual esteem
See my stars? They’re mine, of course
Catch one, love -it‘s yours
wand in hand, directing
the whispering harps and bends the rainbow
swirled the Milky Way
chasm of splendors
from His garden space.
Kiss, and kiss again, by no random delight
Surprising me;how I don’t understand
But Lord, you’re so simply
so very
so very sweet.
Author notes
Written September 27th, 2005
In a list
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Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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U HAVE BEEN HOODWINKED!
hehe hi there!
im natalie and u've just been hoodwinked!
this is absolutely great
as i was going along reading this, i got sort of a rhythm like music in my mind that fit this oh so perfectly..this is beautiful, and the reader definetly feels the passion poured into this piece!
Congratulations!
~love Naty
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i've been thinking bout it....
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Thank you. I'm glad you DID click on this one. Most times...it's how He first calls.
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Good job
mmmmmm I don't really believe in God I was drawn to this piece I guess I am one of those blinded ppl lol...well anyway you've done very good in reading this...funny of all them I'd pick this to read. Anyway keep on penning.
Kari -
God exhalted , God found
This is unique in feeling a genuiness of God's presence. Some kind of rare extasy , deep with natures communion but here
seems as seeing a miracle ,a new experience for me , in senses ,
just so new , -
Divine!
Dearest Dianne
With TOKENS about to be printed, I am enticed to slip this one in, too! Decided that there can never be a too much of sweet Cookie.
Love
Myra -
i like your poetry alot especially this one.
electra -
wow really execellent, I liked it alot, mixed emotions but really beautiful -Blue
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How can people be so blind to Him? His mercy is unmeasured; who else is so slow to wrath? Thank you for this, Cookie. 
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I think this is a lovley piece. Worded beautifully. I will have to read more of your work.
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Oh my, Diane, this is absolutly so gorgeous. Your words flow like the sunshine itself. This is one of the most beautiful poems I've read, and in praise of the Lord.
An outstanding piece which I'm sure is inspired by the spirit of your soul.
I love this and guess where it's going
I wish I could give it more than one applause.
Love and
Dee
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He..is sooooooooo worthy! I thank you for such a kind statement. >LD<
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great poem CookieZeal, it is very good and individual, it brings out great imagery, you are a talented, gifted and marvellous writer keep up the exceedingly good work
best wishes as always
Shimmering River
Edited on Sep 27, 2:53 p.m. because '''. -
Thank you for such sharp critiques. Several suggestions will work and will be adjusted. I usually let it breathe a day or two and check it with fresher eyes. ...oh...and then I edit it to death sometimes..lol.You?
Gracious for you to look under a poetic scope. Always appreciated and ideas considered. Thank you! -
So sweet, He is- (don't see any reason for this emdash)
playful in the twirl of autumn's hush (autumn's hush is too harsh and shocking)
from behind sticks and brush to (enjambment applied at wrong place, besides, hush and brush look deliberate)
hovering ’round the Eastern star. (when I don't any metrical structure why trim "around")
Romances - prompting in spite of storms (cliche alert!)
the song in me, dove in the gale
flutter
flutter sweet, now, dear.
a symphony conducted by (either symphony composed OR orchestra conducted)
The soft heart of the Creator (soft heart of the create, where does that connotation mean to take me?)
winking, between clouds and sun (I think you don't need that comma after winking)
peeking through his spatial pillars
that joist the heavens; I smile and sing
I see you
I see you always
In a world no man could make
flawless in order, rhythmed by
Oceanic tears , joy, thunder and roses.
who violins me
trumpets my being by visual esteem
See my stars? They’re mine, of course
Catch one, love -it‘s yours
harps in whispers that bend the rainbow
Climb the Milky Way
The chasm of splendors
from a garden space.
kiss, and kiss again, by no random delight
Surprising me, how I don’t understand
But Lord, you’re so simply
So very
So very sweet.
Overall I see flashes of brilliance, but behind too many images I lose the poem...Can you whittle it down and work with the concrete images that you already have!
D
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This is so expressive - and the word cominations you have used are exquisite! who violins me - exctraordinaire! I am envious - my e day today! Lovely write.
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Beautifully written Cookie, how you write like this? I dunno only its lovely and you bring such a emotion of feeling out in your words to the readers. I guess thats because its deep within your heart the passion and closeness of you and Christ.
I don't have the words Cookie but its flavored for sure.
Sherry
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I'm so glad I read this. I think it is beautiful. Like reading a prayer. Thank you
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Oh my gosh, Diane, I don't think I have any words that could aptly describe how this poem made me feel. It simple touched a place in my heart that isn't easy to get to. How's that? lol
I couldn't give you enough applauses to express how much I loved this-but I am bookmarking it. ♥ vj -
I like very much
Sweet is right! a wonderful poem and so well written, it has sweetly lifted my soul! -
Beautiful this one is full of so much expression well crafted and inspiring. I enjoyed your poem so much.,
"a symphony conducted by
The soft heart of the Creator
winking, between clouds and sun
peeking through his spatial pillars
that joist the heavens; I smile and sing
I see you
I see you always" -
great
hey great write this is brillant very well done i liked this alot, like the last staza very beautiful and well worded great job and keep it up mate
+wellsy+
+purity+
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