Frozen in my loneliness,
Lost in my despair,
Going insane,
I'm pulling at my hair.
Crying in my desperation,
Control of my anger I'll never win,
Going mad,
I'm tearing at my skin.
Screaming at my ignorance,
Frightened by my fears,
Going crazy,
I'm shedding all my tears.
Laughing in my happiness,
Gluing on my mask,
Going nuts,
There is only one thing I must ask...
Will this torment ever-last?
Or am I stuck with this 'trend'
Until the very END?
Author notes
ummm i came up with this on just an ordinary day... I think it's nice... and it rhymes and it's more recent so yeah... Please leave a comment...
Written September 27th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is brillaint and flows well however the last line seemed a little out of place! there seemed to be a rhyming scheme flowing through it but then the last 3 lines change that! apart from that i think this is a brilliant write well done xx Cheryl
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Well Personwhois,
I really like the concept, and I'm always grateful when I read a poem that rhymes as I HATE free verse with a passion, and usually end up falling out with people over it, so it was refreshing, on clicking the featured box, to read this.
However, I do think the flow could be improved with a little "tweaking" (eg the 6th line is "clumsy"), but that's really being a little pedantic.
I liked it.
Have an applause.
Robin.
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Ohhh Ang this piece was just great! you must have stolen some of my talent! lol yeah keep up the wonderful work! hope to read another poem by you soon! You really do have a lot of talent! you should write more! or post more stuff on here! I give you an applause for this poem! 11 out of 10 and a pat on the back! heh yeah feel free to talk to me any time remember! and also your poem... it has the best emotions it couls... that is why you rock at writeing you write with such... feeling and emotion from your soul! ok I won't drag it on anymore! keep penning as some say!!!!
~Kit~ -
Well Done
Nice piece. Doomful and dark. Mood was well set and absorbing.
Nice choices of words. -
Nicely written! I really like this piece, very well written and constructed ... superb piece ...
Keep it up
Take care huh
~ Krispy ~ -
You express torment very well in this one dark and painful well crafted work I loved the ending perfect.
"There is only one thing I must ask...
Will this torment ever-last?
Or am I stuck with this 'trend'
Until the very END?" -
great
Hey great poem i really liked it had good flow and you used good words aswell great stuff, and keep it up mate was good
+wellsy+
+purity+
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