as my hand burned,
i drew love
from the sky
to carry your death
into a simple word
for 'remembrance'
and mourning you
has become a movement
to carry us both
through this ever-defining garment
of grief.
Author notes
Written September 26th, 2005
A contest entry
- 15 lines or less by forgotten dream.
400 points, ended September 30, 2005, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
If we choose, we can turn our grief into monuments, or memories into black holes. Ok, that idea reminds me of Henry James' novelette, The Alter of The Dead" where the main character kept an alter for those important to her who had died, just here, it's more my impression than a metaphor. Nicely done.
-
genuinely great!!!
-
I am sorry for your lose. But this poem wel very well written. I thank you for posting it here to be read by all of us here. I am glad I clicked it. Good job, Good luck in the contest.
~Ron~
-
this is a wonderful poem. it was beautifully written in such a small amount of text and i think that being able to capture true feelings into a short poem shows true greatness.being able to write a short poem shows that you do not need many words to get the point across which is hard to do in some cases.this poem shows true talent. it was marvelous. good luck in the contest. i do hope that you win. this poem was wonderful.
i wish i could write something like this.
God Bless,
OnlyInMyDreams -
and mourning you
has become a movement
to carry us both
through this ever-defining garment
of grief.
i can totally and completely and honestly say that you have struck a chord within every part of me. this is so very much my life the past two years and somewhere it has got to end but i do not know how completely to rid myself of the garment i now carry. you have made me cry. thanks. but that means you wrote well. viyanna r langager -
So beautiful.
Please don't ever stop writing. -
spellbinding
fire in the sky.
fire beneath our eyes.
above and within, child-
this is what it is to feel.
* *
beautiful. stunning.
evokes exactly what it should
in so short a time.
i applaud you. -
Amazin write. Don't stop writin. You got a talent. Keep on showin it off. victoria
-
very powerfull and beutifull poem. Great use of images......
-
I love this. I absolutely love this.
"and mourning you
has become a movement
to carry us both"
It's very powerful in these lines. Very nice. -
Very nice work -Al
-
This is pretty. It is sad and serene. I think you did a good job and I wish you all the luck in the contest!
Peace,
Junebug -
Very nice write, well done. -Al
-
thankyou!
-
Congratulations on your win.
-
wow.
this leaves me speechless at the end. so much expressed in such wonderful simplicity - i love that there are no wasted words in here.
an incredible write. thank you so much for entering and best of luck in the contest <3
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
9 old applause
