A Gift From Santa
It soon will be Christmas, the time quickly will pass
And up at the North Pole, they’ve turned up the gas
To warm up Santa’s workshop so the elves can get busy
Start making those toys for Bobby and Lizzy
And all the other little girls and little boys
Who’re working on their lists of new games and toys
They’re trying to convince Santa that they’ve been real good
And minded the teacher, done all the things that they should
But Santa Clause isn’t so easy to fool
He’s read letters before and laid down his #one rule
Which is to be honest don’t tell any lies
The only way to get that Christmas surprise
On Christmas Eve he flies through the air like a flash
Landing on roof tops, in and out with a dash
But if you look closely you might see him dimly
Red pants pulled down taking a poop down a chimney
That’s his gift to all who’ve been naughty
He’ll easily use your fireplace for a potty
So consider this fair warning from Santa himself
Your toys he’ll leave at the North Pole high on a shelf
So be careful when you look up the chimney to see
If he’s here yet, he might be taking a poop or a pee
You’ll know for sure then you didn’t fool him for a minute
And your fireplace will have your present there in it
You don't have much time to clean up your act
‘Cause Santa’s nobody’s fool, and that’s a fact
So you’d better start now being good and nice
No matter the age, no matter the vice
He’s been caught with his pants down a time or two
But he claims he was leaving his special gift of pooh
Dee Garner
September 26, 2005
(C) 2005
Author notes
I know...sick, sick, sick.....But I've had this picture for ages and finally have something to put it with...
Oh, yeah... I read both of your poems and I think I've read all of them in the contest so far...commented on all I read
Written September 26th, 2005
by catz
In a list
A contest entry
- Humor, but different, by Ray Von.
600 points, ended October 8, 2005, 2 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Joy to the world!!! 1,000 christmas poems wanted!!! by Elvenfairy.
3265 points, ended March 1, 2008, 141 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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wow what a bummer I thought naughty children got coal but I guess a lump of shit would not be nice ether lol you never cease to amaze me
Cyber Artist
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lol well that would indeed be a suprise to get such a gift as THAT from deal old santa! Good thing I don't have a chimney! Just an electric heater lol. Thanks for entering my contest, and Merry christmas!
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absolutely delightful my friend, love the picture
freda
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Congratulations! Well deserved! Very funny poem.
~ Sue
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Very humorous!!!!!
Dee, you did a very good job with this and I love that picture too. Never even thought about using it for this. LOL
You would get an honorable mention from me here. The rhyming and flow were both very good. Best wishes in the contest and sunniest of days to you.
Joyce
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I voted on the contest page as well as sending you a personal comment. ~ Sue
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Thank you for reading and commenting... and voting for my poem, sweet sue. I do appreciate it
To vote, though , I think we're supposed to do it on the contest page itself....easier for the contest host to count them ...and hey, I want to be sure your vote gets counted...lol
Dee
Edited on Dec 24, 4:11 p.m. because ''. -
sorry, I vote for you to win 1st place.... Brilliant write!
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I voted for this poem to win 2nd place. It is very clever and extremely funny. Rhyming is right on too. Good luck to you! ~ Sue
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I'm not really sure how you do this, but I vote 4 U!
I think its an amazing poem! Reall really funny! And the rhyming is excellent! I wish you all the best of luck in the contest!
katzie
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I also wanted to say that I love the rhyme scheme.
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Hahahahaha!!! I am still laughing my head off! Cool idea you have had here catz, thank you for bringing me a laugh today. I was already laughing, just to open the poem and see the phto. Well done, I really feel you did a good job. Good luck in my contest. Thanks so much for commenting on other poems too, and for supporting me aswell.
Maria -
LOL Dee I thought this was funny a great uplift now
I think people need to have air fresher nearby LOL.
What a picture I wrote one like this sometime ago
remember it? Mine was just a silly about Santa
anyhow you got good humor. Love, Me
Edited on Sep 27, 10:45 because ''. -
Brilliant write! No joke! Good luck in the contest
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That might work, annie, let me know if it does
Dee
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I LOVE this poem
I would like your permission to give a copy of this to my daughter at Christmas. If she complains that her gifts are not enough I will make her read it twice and then, I am sure she will be nice.
*2hugs*
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