I find happiness in being dependant…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find comfort in not releasing my feelings in a constructive way…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find relief in seeing my own blood…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find beauty in a blade…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find my escape in self harm…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find being ‘normal’ in medication…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find I feel better by getting angry…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find I’m not anything…
…I want to be.
BY:
xxFadingGracexx
Author notes
Written September 26th, 2005
Option 8, it's the deepest one i've written.
In a list
A contest entry
- tell me about how your life is, by forget my memories.
450 points, ended February 4, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick! It's up to YOU! by redmarkonthewall.
525 points, ended March 6, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - contest on abuse from others, and self abuse(mental illness) by butchbec.
450 points, ended March 18, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow
Thanks for entering my contest. Your use of repetition works so well, and i am immediately drawn in to what you will say next. i can really relate to this. Goodluck in my contest, Beccie -
Good
This is an interestingly set up poem, I like it. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
this is sad. but i like it thank you so much for entering my contest.
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Hey mom . just reminding myself of your amazing talent and i was not dissappointed this is amazing. I love the way you repeated yourself throughout the whole peice brilliant.
XX tear XX -
I normally don't like reading poems about cutting, but this is the second one of yours that I read and both of them touched me deeply inside. Your cry for help is evident, and even more evident is the fact that you know you don't want to go further this way. That is already a half way to heal whatever you need to heal in your mind.
Next step is you to realize that you are something! -
i like this alot, there is something lyrical about it and that gives it a certain edge, sweet and sultry.
Nice!
Alias xxx -
I love the form you've used, repeating "...but I don't/Want to".
I know the feelings you've described, I feel them too. I love the picture you've put in here, it's gorgeous. -
good
As short and simple each stanza is, you have a gift. It tells all that is needed. Great work.
xoxo
Courtney -
I know what it's like to feel you are nothing you want to be. I feel that all the time. It's like you can't satisfy yourself. I know how you feel. Great write. Keep up the great write.
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This is powerpacked in its antithesis and so often we want to be what we dont wannabe and you pour out your personal angst in the repeated pleas and the effect hits me hard as reader..cheers
Shubs
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This is so powerful and it really hit home hard. As an ex-selfharmer, I can see where you're coming from with this.
I love the way you ended this and the repetition is effective too. It reainforces the fact that are are doing something you do not wish to do.
You are extremely talented. Well done!
-
You asked, thus I give you the changes I would recommend.
Happiness through dependance…
…but I don’t
Want to
Comfort in being self-destructive…
…but I don’t
Want to
Blood brings me relief…
…but I don’t
Want it to
Solace in a blade…
…but I don’t
Want to
Escape into self harm…
…but I don’t
Want to
‘Normal’ through medication…
…but I don’t
Want to
Better but not happy…
…but I don’t
Want to
I find I’m not anything…
…I want to be. -
I'd like to agree completely with you/this comment. I think it was a very good write and it can be even better if there was adjustments, but the emotion in the poem stood out and I think it was clear. I hope everything is okay and I'm here if you'd like to talk.
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Over all the lay out of your poem is pretty good, but I would make the first line of each of those a little vague or change some words around to make it seem much more interesting. The subject matter is kinda sad... uh duh, but yes, over all this poem is alright, but I think it could use some work if you want it to be interesting. If you were simply using it to vent there’s no harm in that. Hopefully things will get better for you.
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WOW!! i love this write.. its awesome.. your a totally awesome poet and i love all your work.. exspecially the God one.. that really made me think and encouraged for me to make own for myself.. but great work.. i love it keep it up!!!
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Great
Wow, I like this. I am here for you ANYTIME you need me! My address is pepsi_chick89@hotmail.com Don't hesistate to ask for help, alot of people do things they don't want to do, and we can stop those things, sometimes we just need help, that's what friends are for! (or sisters!) I love ya hun, have a good day and please continue writing. -
Wow this was really deep, it was full of emotion, it was dark but not intentionally. I hope you get through this I really do, my advice for you hun is to stop concentrating on all the things you think you want to be and just be, take it each day and just be. Amazing poem hun. xxx Mum ooo
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