Drunk or sober?
[Based on a legal report stating that most Irishmen convicted of crimes of violence were drunk, and most convicted of theft were sober]
T'was Rafferty, Clancy, O'Hara and Brannigan,
A-hittin' the hard shtuff at Finnegan's Ball;
But when Mooney and Bryne comes to join the shenanigan
Divil a drop was they drinkin' at all!
Hadn't Finnigan's party entoirly the gaiety!
Usin' shillelaghs on Mother McCree,
Bashin' Father O'Flynn loik the fella was laiety,
Blood runnin' red as the Rose of Tralee!
Look at Mooney and Bryne, far too staid for such foolery,
Raisin' free loans from Mareeven and Co.
Cries shweet Molly Malone when she's missin' her jewellery;
"Pockets and purses, look live, alive-Oh!"
When Orish eyes are smilin'
Civil war has come to shtay;
When Orish hearts are sober,
Shure, an' I'm lockin' moy shpoons away!
_____
Author notes
Written September 26th, 2005
A contest entry
- Europe by Elvenfairy.
300 points, ended November 15, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Dublin English Language Contest by SaoirseLou.
450 points, ended January 16, 2007, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ENNYFING COLLOQUIAL by jimmy20johns.
1800 points, ended October 31, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh by Pollycheck.
575 points, ended January 3, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Thank you for entering my contest. This is a very well written and well put together poem. It did bring a smile to me lips.
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Reminds me a wee bit of Missus Hoolihan's Christmas Cake ('twould kill anny man twoice to be atin' a sloice...). Congratulations on the silver tassie.
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I love thish one. (spelt wrong on purpose).
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Excellent!
Hi. I really enjoyed this piece - it's got the authentic ring a la "Finnigan's Wake" (the song) and "Father Macree" et al. Really well done, mate. Cheers, jimmy
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Memorable
I love the way you use the colloquial language here. It flows smooth all the same, and says a lot as well. Congrats!
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Well its very Irish..I have to say that 
I love your use of coloquial language used in Ireland however in my opinion it is very Irish country-side English as opposed to Dublin English. The accent is quite Cork/Kerry I think but it was an entertaining read with a lesson in it too. Never trust a drunk Irishman ... or a sober one. wow that's an optimistic thought 
thanks for entering
Saoirse
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I wonder where the theory came of Irish men being drunk angry men. lol, this was a very interesting poem, definetly made em think for a moment, wich is sometimes a good thing! Thansk for enetring and good luck!
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Well, thank you! I can't remeber if I won the contest, but it was fun! Write fun poems! God bless!
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This is hilarious! Tossing in the Irish words and accent in places really brings it home. Did you win the contest?
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I found this totally hilarious, and loved the last line. I know ireland and irish only from movies and books but what I have found in them I think you have pinned it perfectly
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Kevin This one I enjoyed immensely,have worked with many an Irish man in construction and been over the emerald Isle a few times,Mother from Clare,one has seen scenes for this piece lived many times.but all in all the y have to be the only nation that their habits tend not to detract from the fact that they are wonderfully funny people, with humour that is more often than not directed at themselves.Canny enough to make the watcher think that they are laughing at themselves when they are laughing at you.A great poem that i was pleased to be directed to in return the favour
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hahhaaahha made me laugh. You captured the ol' Irish humor perfectly.Put a smile on me face for sure laddie ....
Edited on Oct 06, 1:12 because ''. -
You should think of a fairly inane fiddle playing a jig in the background. It's not excatly igh Celtic beauty and mystery but at least it's Irish
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this is a good one kind of cute in a strange way lol
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