I know now what a grave mistake I made walking alone that night
amongst the shadows and gravestones, waiting for All Hallows' Eve come midnight.
It was a common thing I had always done, but after tonight, that would change,
as I saw a figure emerge through the mist-at first, not thinking it was strange.
The figure was hidden behind a hooded cape that looked drastically old,
and I saw his hands peek out from his sleeves, and by their paleness, he must have been cold.
I stood there not knowing what to say and then my heart nearly froze
when suddenly his hand came up, and in it was the darkest rose.
He handed it to me and said, "I'll see you again at midnight",
then turned around and ran into the mist, and vanished out of sight.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I quickly ran in fear,
back to the mausoleum door, my face cold with tears.
I sat huddled in the corner, wishing the moon would cast more light,
and I realized the mistake I made by walking alone in the graveyard that night.
Darkness had never scared me much, and now here I was crying in fear;
failing to realize that midnight was getting closer with each fallen tear.
I felt something warm hit my hand and looked down in surprise
as I was still carrying the rose, and terror filled my eyes
as drops of blood fell from the petals, more and more as time went by;
and slowly, each petal wilted and fell as the rose started to die.
It got colder and colder as each petal fell, and blood covered the ground.
As the last petal fell from the stem, never making a sound,
I felt a cold hand upon my shoulder and knew my time had come.
The figure dropped the hood from its head, and my entire body went numb.
The blood stopped flowing through my veins and my heart stopped beating.
The rose had represented my life-I knew in a moment fleeting.
Death held me in its embrace amidst the misty air I'd never again breathe
walking amongst the shadows and gravestones- handed death's rose on All Hallows' Eve.
Author notes
option one-rose blood 87
This poem was inspiration from a story my ex-boss' wife told me about a guy who came up to her on Halloween in a hooded cape and handed her a black rose and told her he'd see her at midnight. Needless to say, she threw it back at him, and told him he wouldn't. hehe
This poem won second place in the 8 Option 3 Day Contest by Jenrianne, an honorable mention in the Enter The Darkness................My First Contest.... contest by Terrianna22, an honorable mention in the For Trophy Winning Poems 3:Scoring Style [Contest] by wakingdevil, second place in the YOUR BEST WRITE EVER! Prewrites only! Part 2 REOPENED [Contest] by Danoz, first place in the Trick or treat [Contest] by gothicchildren05, and first place in the 1000 POINTS...WAS ENTER ANYTHING BUT NOW EROTICA AND HORROR [Contest] by Poet from LongIsland.
Written September 25th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Bored Enter!!!!! Need to Read Something!!!!! by fairytalelovestory.
700 points, ended January 8, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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sweet poem with lots of discribtion. you are bound to win on of those contest.
good luck in all of them -
Haha, great inspiration! Love what you did with the piece! Great storyline, and superb imagery. The rhyme didn't really seemed forced to me O.o
Great job on this piece, and good luck!
♥ Kathraina -
The rhyming is average, because it was forced; however, I like the idea. This could use some polish.
This cannot place though, because it did not win two gold trophies...might want to read the requirements next time...or perhaps you just entered the wrong poem...?
Peace. -
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Well, actually, it DID win gold twice, amongst others. Back a couple years ago before Allpoetry was revamped, they had a rule where you couldn't enter a poem into more than one contest PERIOD unless you removed it from the one previously entered, so it never kept track of the trophies you won unless you left them in there. So I copied the names of the contests I would place in into my author notes along with whatever trophy I won. It's so much more convenient now! So yeah, I read the requirements, always do. Just didn't have a choice, but I did keep track. It's still in my author notes.
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Great poem... I just wished that you kept the contests that you won in the contest entry section...
Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck,
~lumin -
Well... I do like the story and all... it was very deep and beautifully written... however I was hoping for more description about the rose itself... not a poem where a rose is mentioned, but an entire piece dedicated to A ROSE and what it is... you know?
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Yeah, I understand. The rose plays a huge part here with its symbology, but it's not necessarily about the rose itself. I will see if I can manage another centering around it more before contest close.
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Nice
I like the flow and the poem itself. The actual rhyming is a little off and the middle of the poem flowed a little off. I do find that the actual story behind the poem. It was dark, creepy, and quiet intriguing. Thank you for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. Kahy -
Talk about chills! I love the way you used a rose to portray her life, expertly done. Best of luck in the contest!
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Thanks! I'm glad you liked it so much. I love writing stuff like this.
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ohh wow... that left me speechless. I had to look over my shoulder and make sure no one was there. That was chilling. Great job.
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BLoody Well Written
That was just awesome, I couldnt take my eyes off it,I love how the rose was dripping blood and i felt like i was there awesome write, your an amazing poet, glad i read that...WRITE ON ROCK ON READ ON....( IF YOU DONT MIND i ADDED YOU TO MY FAVORITES) -
o wow very veyr good i love ur poems and keep up the good work
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lol Thanks very much! I'm very glad you liked it.
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wow handed deaths rose on all hollows eve no wounder u have all these applause u hav sooo much talent and deserve everyone and mabe onemore this poem is the best iv read all day and theres no need 2 wish u good luck in this awsome contest coz u dont need it keep up this amazing work and il hav 2 keep readin it sooo good bye for now and i look forward to readin more bye vanyel
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THIS IS AMAZING, the is really really good. Very descriptive, very good imagery, very good write. Awsome job, I love it very much. Good luck in the contest.
Anthony -
Thanks a lot! Glad you liked it.
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AMAZING!
This poem truely is amazing! You weren't kidding when you "ordered" us to check it out in your profile
My favorite part is when she realizes that the rose represents her life and then realizes that the blood running from the rose's petals is indeed hers and that it is her time. I don't know why. It just gave me chills and...yeah.
AMAZING!!!!!!!!
Keep it up, Rose
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Thanks very much!
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Wow. Scary and cool all in one. Great work with this. I think it was very creative and loved the story behind it. Good luck on the contest. I'm sure that this is a top contender.
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awesome
wow, this is great! the rhyming scheme is cool and it flowed well.thx for entering the contest and good luck!
~*~Hailee~*~ -
LOL Yes free tickets of course! Thanks for second and the points.
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Congratulations rose blood 87 on coming second in Danoz's YOUR BEST WRITE EVER! Prewrites Only contest!
This was a fascinating entry and the only one of its kind in my contest! It's very creative and I rekon one day you should make it into a movie! I expect free tickets too you know
Until next time!
Edited on Jul 13, 9:41 p.m. because 'Accidentally wrote first'.
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Absolutely awesome poem mate. I really like it when poetry rhymes.. Just my personal preference. It flowed so well and man what an awesome story!
Thankyou for entering and good luck with the contest!
Danoz
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Brilliant!
Score:
Subject:3.7
Rhyming:2.3
Flow:2.7
Total:8.7
The rhyming let it down a bit,if that is fixed it would be excellent.Anyway,very well done! -
Thanks a lot. Glad you liked it! Ummm as far as names go, just pick something that reflects your personality. I liked this song called Rose Blood a lot, but that was taken so I added 87 to it cuz that's my birth year.
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This poem kept my attention. It is beautifully written, and you write really well. srry about the name, i didnt know that i couldnt change my name until a month is up, so it is stuck like that. I love your author page and you name...any suggestions when i can change it?
~Abigail -
Wow! Now that's a story and well done. It keeps your attention throughout and sort of just pulls you through it. A wonderfully penned piece. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thanks very much. I'm glad you liked it!
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Rose, this poem is a classic...I love a good scary movie, and this poem surpasses the best of them all....Plus the rhyme and flow is amazing..Good luck in the contest Lynda
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This is a most original poem, really enjoyed it. The rhyming was awesome as well. cake
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Good job... i like it... the rose was put in very powerfully. no tears though... i just loved it
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Amazing
This was an awesome poem, very creative!bravo on your previous wins, it is def. deserving, I liked it very much, it had wonderful flow, and i liked the story line...and how the rose represented your life...great symbol....*HUGZ* Thanks for entering it and Good luck! -
WOW! This is so freakin' awesome! You completely drew me in this poem as I was reading. Thanks for the thrill!
Thanks for entering and good luck,
Alexia
Edited on Jan 15, 1:43 p.m. because 'i wanted to leave you a rose'. -
if i could give this poem a million applauses i would.. but this thing is gay so i can't this is beautifully written and i never knew you had so many poems..I DO NOW!!!
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Thanks very much!!!
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inspirational
This poem flowed beautifully and, not to mention, made the reader feel as if he or she was actually there holding that sharp-thorned rose. Well done. -
Wow, what an amazing poem. The imagery and rhyme are fantastic, I love it!
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Great story telling. Hope you win this contest as well. This is really good. I like the imagery and the expressions and the way this was put across to the reader. Great poem. - cgirl0410
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Thanks very much! Glad you liked it.
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At first I was reading this like a story, not catching the rhythm or rhyme, then I found the flow. That's just me, though, as I re-read it again, and it flowed just fine. The rhyming was incredible as well...nothing seemed forced. I can definitely see how this won trophies. Great job! Thanks for sharing!
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LOL That's perfectly fine. I am, too! Glad you liked my poem.
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Ooh, that rocked. I loved the whole story you told and then... the rose being one big metaphor... outstanding. My appologies, I'm the biggest dork on the inside
Best of wishes
Tiffany
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Thanks!
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Wow, that's an awesome story...it gives me chills as I read it. Very well done!
~Amanda -
Thanks very much! Glad you enjoyed it.
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hehe Thanks.
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wow this is one of the best poems i have read in a long time... as i startd reading the flow was so perfect and unforced that it took me half the poem to realize that it rhymed. i think that is a hard task to take on.. to have rhyms flow so easily .. the concept was very original, unlike anything i have read in the past and the imagery is perfert. i could definately picture the darkened sky and the rose with the slow falling petals. Good luck and of course an amazing write!
FlavoredPoison -
wonderful
this...is...wonderful!!! i LOVE it! great imagery! it plays the prettiest picture when read. i absolutly love the idea, it's very creative. your writing still is very nice too. keep writing! xo kitten
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hey- you're featured! no wonder, this is an awesome poem.
weird inspiration... lol... see ya later! -
Good
I don't know what to exactly say, but I was rather exalted. -
Wow, this is really good, full of emotion, and dark feeling. Awesome job with this, and keep up the good work.
~Fallen
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Oh my god this was awsome! I loved this poem! I don't understand why it didn't win first! (yelling: FIXED! FIXED!) The imagery was great and you had me spell bound till the end. How could you not have won!
oh well, I think this was a great poem and wonderfully written. ~val~
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Sweet one bro
I got really into it actually i was wondering what was goign to happen. keep it up and let me read another good one soon.
From,
Your lover -
Wow, thank you very much! Glad you liked it. I have another one kind of like this called Whispers. You can check that out if you'd like. Not as many people have commented on it.
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First of all...masoleum?! That brought to mind the really spooky cemetaries that only old,old Louisiana can manufacture. Secondly, well written, my friend. Narrative poetry is always so impressive to me.
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hehe Thanks!!!
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Thanks very very much!
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he man thats an awesome poem
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Great write. I loved the visual affect this had on me. And the background you chose was perfect for this piece. Keep up the great work!
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Thanks very much!
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hehe Thank you very much! Glad you liked it.
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Very well written poem. Enjoyed it LOTS. Keep it up! It was great, fabulous, and all other good words
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Excellent
Right in the Halloween mood! Very imaginative. I'd be like your friend, I'd throw it right back in his face, but then you'd lose a delightfully dark entertaining poem. Your grasp of dark humor and poetic phrasing is excellent. Keep it up! -
Thank you very much!!!
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very well written
This was a really chilling tale and kept me sitting on the edge of my seat. You have used such good descriptive words that we can really see the cemetary and feel the aura around you.
etherealforu
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Thank you so very much for your kind words. That keeps me going and writing.
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Thank you very very much.
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Rose blood, this was more than beautiful this was something to be extremly proud. not hack and stack stuff, just well crafted piece done with and air of class. eerie and scary, very good image and Visions
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Wow, thank you so much. I will definitely give your work a look. I hope you like my other stuff as well.
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Quitting poetry would be a 'grave mistake'.
Amazing piece Rose Blood!! I love the gothic feeling and your unique way of working the rose into being your life. Hauntingly beautiful!
Edited on Oct 30, 8:39 p.m. because 'typed same word twice!'. -
Thank ya very much!!!
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I'm sorry I can't leave a very good comment...I'm still in awe.. Excellent write, very descriptive..Hopefull, you can check a few of my newer writes, and let me know what you think of them..I'm off to read some more of your work..
- Nik -
awesome
wow very amazing it was very descriptive and like a short mini scary story awesome work keep up the great writing! -
LOL Yes, even though I plan on doing just that to try to scare myself. hehe Thanks very much. I'm glad you liked it.
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i loved it! it drew you in and then just bam! the rhyming was great and it flowed wonderfully. and let that be a lesson to those who walk the graveyards on halloween
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Wow, thanks very much. Glad you liked it so much!!!
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wow, i've never ever read a poem this good. this is really amazing and creative. the work of a pure genious. isn't it wierd how a story can be turned into something much more? i love that about poetry. so vivid and filled with imagination. intensely written and beautifully done. this is by far the best poem i've read so far. keep it going and good luck in my contest.
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Wow. Thanks! I'm very glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.
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Wow, very creative...it gave me the chills, a semi-horror story...I could see it happening in my head...I love how you have the rose represent your life, and how quickly it had died...it just goes to show, that any one person's life can end in an instant...I really loved the line about midnight drawing closer with each tear that fell...very good, makes the imagary all that more great, and the poem all the more believable. Great piece, and I'm glad that hitting the random button brought me here...I don't believe I've ever seen anything this creative, excellant work!
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Thanks!
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good
very graphic and discriptive. i can feel the pain and the fear.
good job. -
Thanks very much. Glad you liked it. Yes, one day I hope to get over my ADD and attempt a short story out of this. hehe I have a few ideas that could work.
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Good
Great tale. I also thought it would work well for a short story. Its a thriller! Good job.
Edited on Sep 29, 11:14 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks so much.
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Thanks a bunch!!!
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Great work - it really flowed well and kept my interest all the way through.
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The way you ended it was fantasmic, i loved it like crazy. as sasha said, the beginning wasn't that great but you kept my attention the whole way through, good luck and keep writing.
Manda
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Thanks very much. I'm glad you liked it.
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Holy shit, that was realy good. In the beginning i didnt like it, but i stayed with it and it ended awsome. This is deffinetly what i am looking for. good luck.
-Sasha -
Thanks again. I'm glad you liked it so much, and I was thinking about making a short story out of it later.
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That was so well-told! Love the inspiration (LOL!) and it's a terrific idea...maybe you could turn it into a short story? I dunno...just a thought...works well in this format too! Great, wonderful, terrific, and all that jazz!
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Thanks so very much! Glad you liked it.
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Thanks for the comment!
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Thanks a bunch!
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This is asuch a great poem and the comment you posted is very funny. It flowed really well and I was so anxious to know what will happen at the end. It's a wonderful poem and I could see the talent all the way.
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This is really good, a lot of detail, and tons of emotion, awesome job, and congrats! I hope to read more.
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Very detailed and very good. Great poem!
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LOL Yeah it's kinda creepy. And I'm dragging you there in Halloween. MWAHAHAHA! JK But me and Albie are going up there at midnight then, so yeah. If ya wanna be scared, come with us.
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