Today I stopped to pay tribute to those who died,
To those who are fighting, to those who have cried.
The cry of pain, suffering, and near death,
Upon the battlefield many would take their final breath.
Men and women fight for freedom risking their own lives,
fighting for their country, friends, families, children, husbands, and wives.
Thank God for the bravery these people have shown,
Even in the midst of a deadly war zone.
God is watching each moment of the day,
He keeps us safe while our troops are away.
Freedom isn't free as you can see,
Our soldiers are fighting right now for you and me.
Author notes
Tribute to our troops
Written September 25th, 2005
I wrote this when I was 15. I updated it a little bit, but not too much. I still wanted it to have the innocence that I had as a young writer.
In a list
A contest entry
- Celebrating the 4th of July and hoping for freedom for all mankind by ecrivain01.
550 points, ended July 27, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Never Forget by SomeonesToySoldier.
1700 points, ended October 13, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Well written for such a young age. I like the rhyme to you did a good job. The only down thing I could say is the flow is a little rough in the beginning but its not bad and doesnt really take away from the poem. Thank you for entering it in my contest and good luck.
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i agree with ZeInkslinger, but too bad people are apreciated only when they die...we, the people need to learn that hatred can only give birth to hatred, war will never solve anything...great job
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good job. you're right, freedom isn't free. never was, never will be.
I see how you feel the patriotism of these soldiers and the ones that support them.
ONE NOTE:
please ReRead my Rules so I dont have to remove your poem.
thanks,
God bless,
ZeInkslinger
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"God is watching each moment of the day,
He keeps us safe while our troops are away."
So true, and I'm not even a religious person, to say the least.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. -
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I entered! Thanks for telling me about it!
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aww this was such a sad write..and i really enjoyed reading this..it flowed really well and i liked the ending keep writting your very talented and good luck in the contest
XTashaX -
This is a wonderful tribute to our troops beautiful, Good luck
~*~ Mystic -
Great job on this write my favorite stanza is
"I thank God for the bravery that these people have shown,
Even in the midst of a deadly war zone."
Thank you for entering the contest!
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Thank you for entering my contest! Your poem was written fairly well. When I read your poem I thought it was written in an interesting way, there wasn't alot of flow going on, but it worked itself within the poem. Good Luck
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Beautifully written.. I truely enjoyed this poem and thank you so much for entering! BEST of luck in the contest!
Love,
~Amber~ -
i have to agree with you on this one...there is a realy cool guy on here named Painpoet. he is a vietnam vet. and a great writer.check him out for some true reading. he knows a lot.
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In my oppinion, the final lines of this poem fall flat with what feels like very forced rhyme. The very first line of the poem on the other hand is quite strong and seems to suggest the poem will be a sonnet.
When rhyme is used it is usualy better that lines use a consistant meter or length otherwise the rhyme doesn't add anything and in fact often takes away. In this case
the poem doesn't feel like a rhyming poem because of the
random line lengths. Ending it with forced rhyme detracts even more. -
very very good!!!!!
you are a wonderful writer. I have only just begun writing and hope to one day do as well as you. Great work and words. -
a good tribute to those putting their lives on the line for ours.
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Nice tribute to those putting their lives on the line. High IS the cost of freedom. Soldiers deserve our honor. Thanks for honoring them with this piece.
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awesome write
this was beautifully done. and a thought of love to those who give the greater sacrifice.. this was awesome. well done thank you for sharing your words with us all. -
this is great most people seam to forget for some reson that solders have a reason to fight and are not forced (at this time at least)to fight if they dont want to. Wonderful
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