Consuming pain, dripping from my blood
watch me slice the skin
with the blade that's provoked by you
it wasn't my fault, it slipped, i promise
See the stains on the carpet
its from the nights you made me cry
see the pill bottles all over my room
its from the nights i wanted to die
I'm watching me now
replaying the discomfort
seeing how I changed
how you mutilated me
You changed me
not just my personality
but my confidence, my attitude
my skin, my blood
Author notes
I know this sucks, and its odd, but it was off the top of my head... i just started typing.
Written September 25th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Well thank you so much! that means so much to me! take care
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The great thing about this poem is that it is concrete. I am in a creatice writing class and our teacher warned us that as teenagers we use abstract words like "love, hate, apathy, soul, fate..." way to much, and they arent nouns we can see. The great thing with this poem is with the concrete nouns you used, it describes a feeling of Discomfort, Depression, Devalue, etc. Without learning that I wouldnt have appreciated this poem as much! Very mature!
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Heh, go right ahead... i wish i had the courage to send this to the person who made me feel this way, though i never could... thanks though, im glad you liked it! take care... Kiersten~
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this doesnt suck at all. this is really good and i can realte and i only wish i could send this to the monster i once called "uncle" i hate the thought of it! anyways...ill talk to you later! great write!
Allie -
Oh, its my pleasure... thanks so much for reading, and good luck in the contest!!
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This is a very powerful piece you have written here it holds some really dark images within it and it leaves the reader in a whirl wind of your perfection this is brilliantly penned thank you for allowing me to read your work..
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wow baby girl! That is soo good!!! Well I hope your doing better, and hopefully you have stopped cutting now! *hugs* You really are an amazing writer! Keep penning! Love ya bunches!
Best wishes*hugs n kisses* heather -
Thanks so much! i appreciate it! take care~Kiersten~
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This is a powerful piece, the last stanza is very in ur face. I love it, it's so raw and real.. Great write, keep it up
~*~Kate~*~
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