Ice cold eyes
Gaze upon her
From the dark.
Hunger steals
Through his veins
As he sighs.
He will watch
Until the time
Is correct.
Before the girl knows
She's even being stalked,
His arms envelope
Her shivering body.
Screams pour out into
The chilled air of the night.
Suddenly silence
Becomes ear deafening.
Absolution is
Reached as her eyes meet his;
Words could not describe...
Their love knows no limit.
Loving eyes
Fix upon his
Smiling face
Desire
Consumes them both
As they kiss.
For so long
They have waited
To embrace.
After so many years, their love is still star crossed strong.
Author notes
Hmm.. I thought this was a pretty interesting idea, so I decided to enter. This is a Nibor, and I hope I didn't butcher the form too awfully bad. e e; I read and commented on Abstraction by LdyBrknWing.
Yes.. For those of you that know me a little more personally, I bet I know where you THOUGHT I was going with this.. SO HAH! Proved you all wrong! 
However, I do feel that I need to explain the very last line. No, I wasn't out of words that could rhyme with the word "long." The phrase "star crossed love" is borrowed from Romeo and Julliet, and it pretty much means that their love was destined to fail from the get go. ~Shrug.~ HAD to have my irony in there somewhere.
Written September 24th, 2005
A contest entry
- A Form Contest by Sector-Hunter.
300 points, ended October 2, 2005, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Ahahaha; yeah.
I figured it was the easiest way to, like, describe the poem. I'm glad you like it. ^ ^;;
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You changed the ending too! dancedance
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You changed the suthor's noooooote!
It makes me effin' happeh!
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Hello I just wanted to stop in and ask again to pleas take a look at the second line in the second stanza Through his veins
you have the count off by one I want to be able to take a look at every poem in the contest and that is the only thing that needs to be fixed in this thank you again for entering
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Wow! This is so amazing! You don't need to rhyme to make such brilliant poetry. You are so talented so there!
I really enjoyed reading this piece. It's fantastic.
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Very interesting and nice word choices. Again, a talented write.
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Hahah; thanks. This was my first attempt at a Nibor, and then I kind of got obsessed with it, and wrote another one, lmao. e e; I think I like this one more, though. ^ ^; I'm also glad that you enjoyed it so much; mm'hmm. ~Head nod action.~
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Very, Very Good
Great The first time I've read a Nibor (that I know of) LOL Beautiful emotions come shining through. True and passionate. Thank you for a wonderful read and the wonderful imagery. If this is a Nibor, I like it a lot
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.. I don't see anything wrong with the second line of the second stanza.. But.. Yeah.. That might just be me.. e e; Thanks for the comment, none the less.
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Lmao.. Thanks, Hun. Most poeple are, like: "Ohhh.. LOVE!" .. And.. They don't get it. ;.; BUT YOU DO!
So yershhhh... <3 Thansk for the comment, babes.
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I loved this poem you did a wonderful job with thsi form you only have one spot that need to be looked at the second line in the second stanza other than that you did really well with this thanks for entering good luck and lots of love Robin...aka SH
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Ooooooh i like this. The last line made me happy and i understood it!
*hgs your poem* -
Ricky Martin!? =o Lyke, wHoAh! .. He's not that great lookin'.. Even though everyone's like: "Omg! Tony looks like Ricky Martin! You're so0o0o0o lucky!!! !!!" .. I think it's dumb, but yes.. I guess it's 'cause he's Hispanish. =( Lmao. Thanks for the comment, hun. <333333
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Hahah; yeah.. Now that i look back on it, this does kind of sound like them. My dear, I swear, you ARE obsessive about them. Thanks for the comment, though, babes. <3
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Lmao.. Yeah, you're right .. I thought she was going to die.. or yeah. =( Oh well, I still liked it. Omg, I hear Ricky Martin in the backround.. Too bad he's gay. ): *COUGH* anyway... yup.. loved the poem. <3333
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Ahaha...I bet you know what this reminded ME of! It fits too...somehow...Except! It's not destined to fail! *refuses to accept that* So there! I don't know if it was about them or not, but that's my interpretation. Perdy write here, my dear.
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Thanks a lot. It was my first try, as I stated, so I really do hope I didn't mess up the form; heh. And, thanks again for the encouragement. <3
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I liked it alot. and I thought you did a good job.
Best of luck to you in the contest. God Bless Brenda
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