Last night I think I felt your whisper
Tickling my ear
Only I was sound asleep
And you weren't really here
This afternoon I read my mind
Written plainly in your eyes
The message simply said
It's not yet time for goodbyes
Later I could taste you
In the coffee on my tongue
I swallowed just to feel
A moment of us as one
Tonight I felt my energy
Coming from your hands
And I knew however high this takes us
I may never want to land
E2
Author notes
Written September 23rd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was really well written, i enjoyed the rhyme scheme which brings over the emotion very well... thankyou so much for commenting on my poetry...
much appreciated..
g -
~ M, this is one heck of a great write. Not like I would expect less from you, but this is truly marvelous. Your rhyme scheme was great and the use of imagery was fabulous. Excellent job my dear.
~ John
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I love the sensuality of your writes. The subtlties and layers of meaning. I think you must really like this guy E. LOL! Ummmm, how did I guess? hehehe...love and sense has a way of driving us deeper than we dreamed. I dive deeper daily.
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LovE it! Unfinished? Maybe, but conveys that the relationship is also unfinished... can't wait to see what happens next. This one hits me hard-had a similar situation happen to me just recently. Keep up the GOOD work.
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Thank you for your honest comment, honest critiques are always welcome here! I must be very tired because I actually had a debate with myself over goobye, goodbyes...
I definately need to have another look at this one!! -
Ahhh!...Romance!
I think the 2nd stanza should end with goodbyes?...the missing stanza has to be the last one?...you cannot leave it all up in the air like that...may i make a suggestion?....from what i read it tells me that you are in a relationship and enjoying a good lovelife!...but...with respect it would be much better to bring the reader back down to earth with a pleasant bump...and leave them asking for more!
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