I'm finally going to be an Aunt
now that you're almost due,
the only one to be my first
and I can't wait to meet you.
I've hoped for this moment
for such a long, long while,
and soon I will have my wish
to see your perfect smile.
A gift sent from the Heavens
meant just for your Mom and Dad,
whose love will go unmeasurable
for You make them really glad.
You will be blessed like no other
with sweet kisses head to toe,
forever embraced by those around you
to help love you as you grow.
Author notes
I wrote this for my sister who is having her first child, and my first neice or nephew!!!!(I'm soooooo excited!!!) I want to put this one on a plaque to hang in the nursery but I'm still not totally satisfied so any and all ideas on tweaking it would be greatly appreciated. (1 week left and counting,that is if baby follows the plan...lol) Thanks
P.S. It's a GIRL!!!!!!!
Written September 22nd, 2005
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Comments
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Hi Cuzz
Great ...awesome....beautiful poem. What a wonderful gift for you neice and what a beauty ehhh. You asked for tweaking and here it is....Well the only thing I think needs looking at is your cadence. The first three lines in the first stanza are great but the last (and I can't wait to meet you)doesnt roll of the tongue like the first three lines. Usually the experts say never begin a line with the word (and)but I do sometimes. Anyway the line is good...just needs to be tweaked. Say it out loud or humm it and you will see that the last line breaks the momentum of the first three.Try that same technique throughout the poem and you will understand what I'm talking about.
Anyway its very hard for me to critique someone elses poem because ...I dont know...just because...but there it is. I hope I didnt dissapoint you.
Anyway...havent seen much from you lately...but keep writing.
Love Bill
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