Pattern of Anything

She watches the water drip
From the faucet into the tub
Her eyes centered and focused attentively
Searching for a pattern of anything,
Anything to ease her pain
Anything to alleviate her thoughts.

Rhythm-induced droplets fall,
Pounding their way into her mind,
Each one brings a new sound,
Each one slowly passes the time.

Glistening eyes, the rust-flavored water
She wonders what would have happened
If her mother hadn't had a daughter
Would the world notice, if just for a moment
Like the attention a water droplet receives
While he's taking his final plunge
To the darkness, the dreary, the unknown?
Hasn't her mind already come to this -
This destination, this resolution, this compromise?

The lies so frequently spoken with such concern,
She wonders what she'd give to be anywhere
But there, soaking, thinking, contemplating.
The ripples now created onto the foamy sea
Speak words of confusion and insincerity
Like the rest of the world's treated her.
One too many times, too often, repeatedly.

How far down does this water go, she wonders,
Where does it breach the ends of its creation,
And where do the lines and boundaries
Cut off the amusement, happiness, circulation?
She breathes in with a slight hesitation
No longer considering this a temptation.

She gives in with a smile and wishes
Of, perhaps, a better place, where her life
Doesn't seem to be such a mistake, misplaced.
The only light in her eyes is from a reflection
From the window, the city's own spectacle,
Such dreams, hopes, ambitions are built here,
But tonight, one other's life will, at near,
Be relieved through the miracle of self-apathy,
Be replaced by the miracle of achievement.
No one will ever know her wonderment.

Who ever said a life without love
Is not one at all?
For she stares alone
Watching
Intently
The brink of the end
Of her dreams, her life, her soul.