In collaboration with the multilingual Arabian Jewel
Author notes
freshly tinkered with... so what was I doing a year ago... hmmm...
In Arabic,
“Sada9a jadida wlidat bayna ahdanina”
means,
“New friendship born from within us.”
The ‘9’ represents an Arabic letter not available in English.
In French,
“mais un rendez vous avec toi
a 11h du soir n'est jamais possible.”
means
“but a rendezvous at 11PM… is just not possible!”
m'i inspiring u?”
I think you can figure that one out!
Why the poem as a picture- to preserve the fonts- not every computer has them and will substitute an ugly block font! Ech!
now it was suggested I enhance the piece, but I'm debating, as keeping it simple means it will translate better into other languages... and this is a multi-lingual piece!
Written September 21st, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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You are some guy, Wayne - a real jewel and not a rough diamond after all. lol.
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I love this piece, a very beautiful collaboration, in any language. WEll done.
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This was beautiful. I love the way you used all those different langauges. It was amazingly written. Very nice job indeed. And you do not have to elaborate on this at all. Its fabulous as is.
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I think it is wonderful that you penned in so many languages. I love the english version as it is the only one I can read. I wish you well and thanks for sharing...Trina
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I don't think you need to elaborate on it anymore than there is. This poem can be left to the imagination. Body language can be misinterperted as well but I don't think this was the case here.
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lol! Except typos in these sorts of things are much more difficult to change than normal pieces... unfortunately!
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No, you are right, my ever perspecacious daughter, and treasure!
amazed dad!
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but are you sure that's not Canadian French? lol
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Ooh Dad, I noticed something quite crucial here. A typo that changes the whole piece!
...OK, perhaps not.
But a typo all the same.
In the French part,
“mais un rendez vous *avect* toi
a 11h du soir n'est jamais possible.”
...that needs to be "avec".
The ever-critical bilingual AP daughter
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Thank you, Ms. Jewel... I am a tinkerer with poetry, and have a few ideas to enhance this piece... à bientôt!
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thank you, myron... I hadn't thought of that with this poem... and I see what you mean... I could paint the scene and emotives more, and really turn this into a nice little piece! But that kind of thing, like you said, may take months- to force quickly it would show and ruin it!
Edited on Sep 23, 11:27 because ''. -
Ooohhhh, this had me curling my toes! The parts about the lady's hands longing to be held had me captivated. Something as simple as that can entrance me completely! Hehe, reading body language can sometimes bring trouble, I agree! That's why I always need to be told things blatantly from my boyfriend - I still can't read him, even after a year and a half! Nice work, wbiro, really!
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Enjoyed it!
Very clever, particularly the use of a language that is inaccessible to most anglophones. A nice twist to describe the language of love. And very clever to post the poem as art, so you keep the fonts intact. Enjoyed it! -
draft
this poem has geat possibilities & I think it deserves to be revised and thought about... at the moment uit's too overt., put some images into it... make it more evocative is the sugestsion i;m giving you. i would hate this to remain as it is... a bit more work over the bext few months woulkd do it the justice it deserves.
but then again i could be wrong...i'm drunk. what would i know? -
I really liked this. I thought the use of languages was perfect for symbolising how love and passion is universal. Beautiful imagery.
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hey amazing poem , i think it was increadible. your an extreemly awsome poet
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I really liked this, it's got a lot of emotions, and it was just brilliant, wonderful job, and keep it up.
~MxR
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WOW!!! A very original piece. and I mean this in more ways than one, the message, the format the style all show you as a very creative soul.
Also as diffrent as this piece is presented, it does not seem to take away from the flow at all.
Bravo! and so well done!! -
What I didn't understand in the language of the poem the picture of love it portrayed in my mind was wonderful. I thought it was written really well and I enjoyed it very much well done
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this is soo different! i loved the way u used another languages to express love and writte this poem, i mean what an imagery! i love languages and of course this poem aswell! well for you!!
bonjour!!
andrea -
A life is a poem.
it is really a great write revealing the truth of love very deeply in terms of the philosophy of the communication of love . The thoughts have been stated very deeply and taking us towards the new dimention of the defination of love very truelly. The flow of the write is very impressive and just to the point. I really appreciate this work.prabhudayal khattar -
This is a beautiful poem thatdescribes love as trancending the barrier of creed ,race and distance.I admire the word flow and
the imageries in this poem.Thank you for sharing with me on this site. -
wow this is beatiful i love the inmacy you add tothe poem,,its kinda sexy...lol ell if all your work si slike this i have got to read it
great write,
Kelsi
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Very unique! Very well written! Great job!
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Great!
Excellent poem, I also like the multiligual parts. -
WOW AP daddy!!! You did a great job!!! I really like this one!!! You and this person did a great job on it!!! Keep up the good work!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Wayne...AJ left AP last night...I thought you knew...we all lost her...Sighhh... Wanda
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ive read this over and over again and still my mind is yelling, "I have no idea what it means!" even though this is a good poem and the translation of words are in ur box, confusion is just smack dab in with the write...
Rae -
Two thumbs up
beautiful beautiful and beautiful. very softly written well done -
Exmotions in this one resonate of longing and love this is beautiful an amazing and beautiful read thank you for the dual language i always enjoy reading in native tongues other than my own this is romance nice.
Melonie -
Great job! I have rarely read anything quite like this, but I think you managed the love-expressing factor very nicely I also loved the words you used -- "Her eyes, daggers, and her lips, swords" -- it was very smooth, very nicely done.
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Nice job! This is just superb ... beautifully done ... i really liked this piece, very detailed powerful and its smooth ... keep it up dear
Take care
~ Steph ~ -
im dead tired , the colours blurred in for me and i had ot concentrate alot to get what was there
loved the background
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EXQUISITE WORK!!!!!
This is a beautiful piece, it goes to show you that when "love" is present there are NO language barriers... A excellent piece, great job... keep up the good work...
It was a pleasure to have read your work for you, ecellent!!! AngelicMistress -
to be honest ive never read anything like it, this was great. and i've never seen anyone use an image for they're poem lol good idea. well this poem was very beautiful, you have a way with words that i definately dont have. when your next write is up let me know
Take care
~Cory -
i love this well done very very pretty, love the multilingual bits a wonderful poem that made me tingle. love the last bit:
we are silent
the language of love speaks
applauds this GREAT WRITE xx Cheryl
Edited on Sep 22, 2:46 because ''. -
Very interesting and quite an unusual style and approach to this. Very nice and well done.
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lol O Sparkly One...?!! I didn't know you lost AJ... I hope you find her again, oh Hope in my virtual night! lol
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I want my AJ back...
Beautiful penning...I miss O Sparkly One...Sighhh... 
Wanda
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only thing I can say is... absolutely BEAUTIFUL
~Swt
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