I walk into this place
And I see all the mothers and daughters shopping together
Yet, I walk in all alone
You left me when I was ten to go to a higher place
I cried that day and the days after that
And now as I walk into this place,
I cry no longer for the same reason
I cry because I walk in all alone
These tears I dedicate to you mother
The mother that did her best till she could do no longer
My mother that I lost at the age of ten
I walk in all alone
With no one to fight over the length of a skirt
Not even the tightness of the shirt
I cry because I must face the teenage drama all alone
I don't have that mother to take me into her arms to cry
Yet, I am not crying over the drama
But the feeling of being nothing more than alone
Mother, please take me by the hand
Whether I know or not
Take my hand, so I won't be alone
Author notes
well, my mom died seven years ago... and this is the first poem I have ever written about her... it took alot... and it means alot to me... I put all my effort into it... I hope you enjoy... smiles ~*~
Written September 21st, 2005
A contest entry
- Make Me Cry by thenewblack.
300 points, ended December 5, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Miss My Mommy by Assisted-Suicide.
375 points, ended December 5, 2006, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lossing your Mom &/or Dad by Shacadia Shay.
390 points, ended March 24, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Alone.....Prewrites allowed by LoveNeverDies.
370 points, ended May 17, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Gold" this time by Virgoan.
550 points, ended June 6, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Sadness well structured in this poem.
My favorite lines:
I cry no longer for the same reason
I cry because I walk in all alone
We shed tears for we are all tears hiding in the sand.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
~VIRGOAN~ -
thanks for entering
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hey hun
this was a very sad write and i cant relate to loosing a parent but i can relat to not having a parent around..this write was very powerful and emotional as well..keep writting and take care and good luck in the contest hun
~Chrissy~ -
Congratulations on winning the silver trophy for this very fine poem.
I lost my Mom when I was 15. I teach high school English now and I try to let my students know how blessed they are to have a mother to love them and nag them and argue with them.
I pray that you find a loving hand to hold and that the pain and lonliness is lessened a bit. God bless you - - joanne
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this a good read. i'm sorry bout your mom. this made me cry. i know how it feels & all you want is for them to be there but there not. you feel its unfair. best of luck in my contest.
--Blessed be--
Dark Princess Vampire -
This is a good peom, it has a good meaning behind it, and I know it took a lot of guts, and a lot of emotion out of you to write this. Expecailly this beign your first peice in seven years. It much be hard. But I dont think that you put your full potential into this write. I think you can do better, and there can be more emotion. Expecaily on the topic it is on. PLEASE DONT BE AFRAID TO POUR OUT ALL YOUR EMOTIONS. Do me a favor. Write me one more poem about your mother, enter it into my contest. And take my advice... REALLY POUR YOUR HEART OUT!!!! LET IT ALL OUT!!! DONT HOLD BACK!!!!! God bless.
~
Princess Padge
Happy Holidays! -
very much healing to be honest... smiles...
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Wonderful
It's wonderfully powerful. I am feeling the solitude of the piece, while at the same time the love for your mother. Isn't it wonderful to start pouring emotions into a form of art? Sort of healing in a way isn't it? -
The repetition of "alone"is important in this poem, it's both effective and moving. Written completely from the heart
Good luck in the contest. -
Tearful tribute.
This isn't how its supposed to be, to be alone. I cried both times I read this. You've written such a moving piece. This recognnizes the dimensions of loss and the trivial to be an axperience you miss. It gave me a smile to read that you feel loss, not having a mother to question the length or tightness of a skirt. I'm sorry that you've lost your mother and the experiences a mother and daughter would take for granted. Excellent job. -
Thanks for this entry.
As I read this I'm listening to a new song by Kenny Chesney....sometimes I wonder who you'd be today. This has me in tears between this and the song.
I noted that you've also added the required notations, thanks again.
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It's absolutely beautiful. It's just, awwwwww... <3 <3, absolutely wonderful job!! Good luck!
Much Love,
Shelly -
I love your writing Amber. This is a truelly beautiful poem. I really hate that you had to go through this. Your mother seemed to be such an energetic person, just like you. I really wish I could have met her. I love you Amber, and if you really want, I'll tell you that your shirts too tight.
I love you.
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