This is how I leave him:
Early morning, while he dips his cold toast into his coffee, I tell him about the weather. They say it's good for traveling, I add. He looks up at me and smiles unengagingly, breaking his bread into two and munching on the other half. I stare at him, hearing the jumble of spit and limp crust inside his tongue, between his teeth, gnawing on like it's raw flesh. The available stench of lukewarm coffee keeps me alert, and this astounds me: his coffee is decaffeinated.
When he gets up and readies for an obligatory goodbye kiss, I put my index finger on his lips and smile. Please don't say goodbye, I tell him. I want to be the first one to say so, I think to myself as he smiles, thinking what a sexy gesture.
I walk around in tiptoes around the house after he leaves, careful not to leave more marks in it. I open all the windows wide, so that whatever scent is left of my presence will blend in with what I plan to be part of next: anywhere, outside this house.
I do not leave a goodbye note; I trust him to know what an empty closet and a made bed mean. Instead, I post a note on the refrigerator door: the dinner is in the fridge, reheat it for two minutes.
I do not slam the door close or drag my feet to the exit: no one is here to see the drama. And besides, there is no anger, only grief, because, as they say, it's fun while it lasts.
But it won't last. It can't. Mornings should never be this prosaic.
I have somewhere else I need to be.
Author notes
placebo; I used the metaphor though. I hope it works. If it doesn't, just tell me to delete it from the contest. 
Written September 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Wow this is gd v descriptive well done
x-Agony-x
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This is excellent, I really enjoyed reading it. It is very flash fictionesque since is pretty darn short. I liked your metaphor, it gave a lot of interest to the piece. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
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huh - i have a new favourite; i love it; every piece, every sigh, every letter. and the title's empowering. you could make an icon out of it
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I thought i had already commente don this, however, i suppose i had just read it. Either way, I really like it and I think your metaphor worked fine. Very nice write, good work and good luck!
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Great write..It was a depressing write and yeah your metaphor worked great..good luck att he contest..You have an excellent describing way!!
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Sorry I already commented on this one, I still love it. I'm going to applaud one of your other pieces to give your points back. -Al
Edited on Sep 28, 9:59 because ''. -
I love this piece. -Al
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wow, this was clever, awesome job, much luck to you in the contest
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thanks so much Rohina.
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perfect
excellent excellent work again. the use of the word placebo just put the whole piece into perspective. i love the way you leave so much to the readers imagination...not cookie cutting the whole piece out for him/her. i think interpretations make or break poetry/stories...and this one definetly worked for me.
standing applause...good luck in the contest!! -
A very nice metaphor. You have taken first person to an all new height. Excellent piece. Good luck to you. Hugs, Patricia ♥
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thanks for the comment. and no need to shout at me with the caps. just kidding. the comment is much appreciated.
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thanks so much.
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wow LOVE IT THE WHOLE WRITE TH EMOTIONS THE WAY YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HAD IT LOVE THE LAST TWO LINES THIS ONE IS WELL CRAFTED AN EXCELLENT PIECE TO READ!
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I can only concur with what's been written before - very compelling, how you put this one together. Best of luck with the contest!
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thanks. I might need that luck.
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I like this alot! I couldn't guess what word you used at first, but after reading your comments, i could sense the relation. That's a good thing of course, because you didn't make it obvious, you created a story around the essence of the word.
You have a very nice style of writing, tidy and descriptive without being overly done. Good job and good luck!
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So short, yet so compelling... I wish there was more. Wonderful story. Best of luck with it
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
5 old applause
