The more ways I find to express my love,
The more I love you, and the better for love,
And more: What more than seek such ways to it;
Expressing love (and therefore to do it).
And if my love should make me false I would,
For better no false-love than mere falsehood.
How then is love (which others call) more proved
Than mine is? And not merely false-love's truth?
Where love's logic meets between false or not
No arguments have heard but have forgot
That love is truth -- and none is love more false
Than proof; So this I swear on blood and pulse:
That infinite love's true call expresses --
Love is something more than proof professes.
Author notes
Couplet Sonnet
Written September 20th, 2005
In a list
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1 - 18 of 18
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We seek evil... we seek the good... we seek to destroy and be destroyed. We try to love and to be loved. But... just as we cannot always recognize evil... we do not always look for love where it may safely be found. And... even when we find it... is there not often some strange ineffable yearning left behind... a hunger for something unknown... something unknowable... a desire to find a satisfactory role in the grand drama of nature?
Nature is unknowable... and yet... we seem to know her like some half memory... and with a yearning that transcends the sexual aesthetic... we seek a mystical union with something half forgotten.
And... when we seek to apprehend the world... does she offer any act of love other than self surrender... any union except in death?
Who am I to critique works so worthy as yours? All I am able to do is wax philosophical after reading them... as is evidenced by my responses to them. When we are good at what we do... we don't need to be told as validation isn't necessary in love. -
Short and strong. I found this to be a most delightful read and well written. Excellent overall. Best wishes.
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Scindr: I do not claim this was an english sonnet.
I have written several english sonnets, and I have labeled those as such and they adhere to the abab cdcd efef gg rhyming scheme.
If I consult a dictionary I find:
rhyme also rime
n.
1. Correspondence of terminal sounds of words or of lines of verse.
2.
1. A poem or verse having a regular correspondence of sounds, especially at the ends of lines.
2. Poetry or verse of this kind.
3. A word that corresponds with another in terminal sound, as behold and cold.
A rhyme is correspondance of SOUND between 2 words, especially line ends. So 'it' does rhyme with 'it'. Moreover it is hardely even repition since psychologically and semantically 'it' in both sentences refers to 2 different things. (one the essential concept of love, and the other the act of expressing and engaging love).
I think in this line, the correspondance is especially appropriate, since these 2 lines form a couplet in themselves which make the point that "expressing love" = "love".
"And more; What more than seek such ways to it:
Expressing love (and therefore to do it)."
In the end the major moral is that lovers must constantly seek out and find new ways to express their love, because love can not rest on proof or past achievement. But it exists foremost by way of its expression.
thank you for your comments. -
I find that this sonnet is written in the loose iambic petameter, which I do not have a problem with, since I write in a loose iambic myself. However, I try very hard to hold to the metric steps and beats.
Lines three and four do not rhyme, instead it is a repetition of a word... not a rhyme. This sonnet, is in a rhyme scheme that is not typical for an English sonnet [which is abab cdcd efef gg] and I think is closer to an Italian Sonnet in rhyme, but not in form... just a note.
The poem holds an excellent content and your word selection was indeed good. Keep it up, I think you have an excellent starting point here with this poem.
Keep it up fellow ink slinger... -
awesome
well i think this piece is amazingly clever, you dont see many sonnets around
its beautiful and a very different way to express your love. thumbs up from me. keep writing
luv sash
xx -
LOVELY
Very beautiful way of expressing one's love seen on your poem !
so much encouraging and enlighted,keep flowing dear.
those words mean a lot to me....
Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved
Thanks a lot buddy for your lovely poem !
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not just the form, but the words, the language and the theme of this poem was very sonnet, and you did a very good job of writing it. thanks for the chance to read.
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David,
You are correct about number of syllables. Sonnets are written in eleven syllabic lines in French with feminine rimes, and in Italian it is written in Alexandrines. In English those five feets are more important than ten syllables, unstressed syllables automatically go out of scansion. Take for example in Tithonus, Tennyson's famous sonnet...in some lines it is difficult to put five stresses thematically, yet he continued with idiomatic flavor rather than making it a metrical exercise.Do you know the reason why people stuck to that around decasyllable mark?
The MORE ways I find TO exPRESS my LOVE, (I stumble in first line to put iambic pentameter...if I do it deliberately it won't be appropriate thematically I fear!)
The MORE I LOVE you, and the better for love,
And more; What more than seek such ways to it:
Expressing love (and therefore to do it).
And if my love should make me false I would,
For better no false-love than mere falsehood.
How then is love (which others call) more proved
Than mine is? And not merely false-love's truth,
Where love's logic meets between false or not?
No arguments have heard but have forgot
That love is truth -- and none is love more false
Than proof; So this I swear on life and pulse:
That infinite love's true call expresses
Love is something more than proof professes.
D
Edited on Sep 22, 12:05 because 'typo'. -
OMGOMGOMG love it
How then is love (which others call) more proof
Than mine is? And not merely false-love's truth?
Where love's logic meets between false or not:
No arguments have heard but have forgot
That love is truth -- and none is love more false
Than proof (So swear I, on my life and pulse).
OMG i lvoe this verse its so perfect i wish i totally had your brain! like your rhyming went so perfectly with each other and it flowed very nicely im so speechless this is great! absalutely amazing id have to be crazy to not applaud you so... I totally applaud you! lol -
Not Very Familiar With Sonnets When It Comes To Writing Them
But I Do Enjoy Reading Them.
This Was Very Well Written And I Enjoyed This A Great Deal.
Have A Great Day And Weekend
I'm Off To Evac x.x Damn Hurricanes -
I just revised line 4 again... back up to 10 syllables.
I'm torn between
Expressing love (and therefore to do it).
Expressing love (and therefore do it).
so... if this flips back and forth... dont be amazed. -
you believe have miscounted my syllables. they are:
The more ways I find to express my love, [10]
The more I love you, and the better for love, [11]
And more; What more than seek such ways to it: [10]
Expressing love (and therefore do it). [10]
Though if such love should make me true I would, [10]
For better no false-love than mere falsehood. [10]
How then is love (which others call) more proof [10]
Than mine is? And not merely false-love's truth? [10]
Where love's logic meets between false or not: [10]
No arguments have heard but have forgot [10]
That love is true -- and none is love more false [10]
Than proved (I swear this on my life, my pulse). [10]
Oh! How infinite love's true call expresses [11]
That love is something more than proof professes. [11]
So in all we have:
10, 11,10,10,10,10
10,10,10,10,10,10,
11,11
... I chose this meter on artistic grounds. The speaker starts off in pondering somewhat disorganized thought.. and then gets into a more organized formal proof of concept and gets carried away by its logic in the 2nd stanza. finally ending on a feminine rhyme in the couplet as the speaker leaves the realm of logic to make a purely emotional plea.
As for sonnets changing syllable count I can find many examples by renowned poets which do so. Sonnet 58 by William Shakespeare for example. (that is just one I picked at random that contains 2 11 syllables lines and 12 10 syllables lines).
Edited on Sep 21, 4:02 p.m. because ''. -
crystal dust said the following in an IM, but didn't know how to cutnpaste so here it is again for crystaldust:
"
Hi there, davidz. Because you are particularly interested in the sonnet form, I'm taking the liberty of pointing out that in your contest entry about Love you seem to have taken too many liberties with the metre. Your lines read as follows:
10,11,10,10,10,9
9,10,9,8,10,10
11,11
It looks as though your preferred metre is the usual iambic pentameter. But in a sonnet you may not vary the number of syllables in a line. If you begin with iambic pentameter you must go on with it to the end. If you use a four syllable line which, of course, is not a pentameter, than you must stick with it. Similarly, if you use the French 11-syllable line you must stick with that. Racine, of course, used a 12-syllable line and rhymed couplet (called Alexandrine) but he did not mix it with anything else. I mention this because, if the person who set the contest is a stickler for correct form (and he/she is) you could be in trouble. That would be a pity because it is a beautiful poem, with a perfect choice of words to express all the emotions. No offence meant here. So good luck in the contest - and just keep writing. Joy" -
crystaldust 21-09-05 21:39
Yes, it's a beautiful sonnet, davitz, with carefully expressed emotions. But I'm glad someone else has noticed the irregular metre and rhyme. If you're interested in taking my comments further, please look at my IM. Good luck in the contest. -
wow thats a beautiful sonnet. so well written!
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The rhyme scheme truly intigues me. What kind of sonnet is this?
Good luck in the contest. -
NICELY WRITTEN!
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I like this style first sonnet I have read ever and loved it, great work,
Mortikie
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