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The Defeat of the Stiff-Necked Woodglue

“Hark!  Hear my plea!
Help me; I’m in distress.
This stubborn woodglue budges not for me,
It is congealed with frightful mess.

“Who, who is strong?
We must untwist this cap.”
Indeed, she waited, but waited not long;
He observed the congealing crap.

He tried his might -
Twisting, tapping, twisting,
Yet still, the cap remained, ever so tight.
“Run it under hot water steaming.”

A fresh one stood.
“Give me the frozen tar!
I’ll unscrew it, if it cost me my life!”
He set forth to open the jar.

“Compass, shine bright!
Aid me in my quest now.
With this fierce war tool, I shall win the fight.
In the end, before me you’ll bow.”

Swift flashed the point!
Dried clutter fell about.
O!  How the desk the dried clumps did anoint!
The brittle army he did rout.

But don’t forget,
With Gain comes Sacrifice.
Accident!  The tongue of the compass slit.
Blood flew from finger, in a trice.

No fear!  No fear!
Our hero labors still.
Intently he sought, to pry the cap clear.
Nothing shall stop this iron will.

Alas!  Alas!
Our hero now must rest.
And to the former, the jar he did pass.
A break he must take from the test.

The jug he took,
But he did not get far.
Shortly afterwards, he the task forsook.
And so he returned the jar.

Now, full throttle!
Compass in hand, he rose.
The air escaped from the glue bottle.
Indeed success is near, he knows.

Off!  Off, cap, Off!
Twist!  Twist with grip of steel.
He roared, and laughed at the bottle with scoff.
He stood, and success he did feel.

Oh, lackaday!
Forget not the Sacrifice.
The woodglue has covered his hands.  Dismay!
Glue has dried; he has paid the price.

There is yet hope.
The hot water will scald it.
It will be burnt off, with the help of soap.
The enemy falls in the pit.

Author notes

Dunno if this counts as a "fairytale", but it's written in mock-epic style...

---

'superl337sauce's poem, was for reason's I cannot begin to understand, removed from this contest. He still recieves an honoroable metion, will recieve the points that go along with the award, and the ability to move into the next round to compete for The Larger Prize.'
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2347768

I kinda wanted a shot at the trophy, but w/e =P
(Btw, this happened before they gave trophies for HM)

"I'm only attacted to rich men"

hw
actually happened
Written September 20th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Kathraina silver member
    February 2
    Edit | Reply

    Judged-ola!

    very interesting


  • BluesMan gold member
    January 5
    Edit | Reply

    Quite the humorus story with pretty consistent rhyme Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Melissa Burns
    April 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*THANK YOU*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* For your charming entry into my humble little contest! I hope you had as much fun entering as I did reading! Thanks again and good luck

    This was very witty! I enjoyed reading it, good images, thanks so much for sharing!


  • Max Ritvo
    May 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dave is going to love this, wait for his comment.

    Actually I loved this too, it was witty, well-executed, and actually quite poetical. To "Laugh with Scoff" is a word combination that I've never quite heard, and don't think I'll ever hear again. But hey, it works! Your rhthym is bizarre, but once you catch into the flow, it does have a very epical, stylized, romantic feel to it. "The glue has dried and he has paid the price" is your only syllibification break that I picked up on, I'd really try to fix it- because with the exception of that I'm extremely impressed at your ability to mantain the composure AND the humor of the piece. This pushes the poetic envelop, I love it, you're brilliant.

    Postscript- can you think of another word for "jar" in "the jar he took" seeing as how jar is an operating rhyme three lines down it sticks out at me as oddly worded- I almost want to double back and check to see if I missed a rhyme.

    • superl337sauce
      May 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I recently noticed that my poem has been removed from this contest.

      Just wondering-
      Was I DQed? If I was, I don't have a problem with it, but could you please tell me why?

    • superl337sauce
      May 25, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      =)

      Thank you for your kind words.

      I have fixed the things you've pointed out. "jar" has been replaced with "jug" and I've fixed that deviation in syllibification. I don't know how I missed that when I first wrote it =P

      Please let me know if you catch anything else.

  • DoomBubbles
    August 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh man that is hillarious

1 - 7 of 7