Dust thick as the fog of the morning
Swirls around my feet, wrapping me up
In the memories of weeks gone by.
This hall is short but lonely,
Lightly colored but so dark.
The eye above my head watches
Every move I dare to make.
There is no knock upon these doors,
There is no greeting from those who come.
Like the gateway to heaven, all who pass
Are tired and have lived long,
So very long in so short a time.
These windows show no sunlight,
The moon refuses to kiss them;
Yet they lead me away, so far away
From the life I have always known.
Author notes
Alright, it doesn't make much sense. But the hallways... she exists. Don't laugh. The hallway mentioned here is a short hallway, about 8 feet long with a door at either end. It is the hallway at work that leads from the garage into the vault. Those not knocking and passing through are my co-workers. And the dust is road/currency/coin grime gathered over several month periods.
Written September 19th, 2005
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Don't worry about it! I know how you feel... My spacebar and my backspace stick, so when you tap them they move like ten spaces.
It's funny, but not when your work gets erased or you get weird spaces in the middle of your words. 
How are ya, hun!
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Changed again! I blame the double t on my nails. I seem to keep hitting letters double or ones I don't mean to hit at all (especially if it is above the one I want on the keyboard, LOL!) Thanks!
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OK... The first change you made was great! The second change... Well, you misspelled the word "doesn't", LOL. I'd also change that line, "The moon she doesn'tt kiss them" to something like "The moon refuses to kiss them", but with better words. I'm too tired to think straight.
s
Kyla -
well you have found more than one reader and with good reason. this is a great poem with even greater imagrey. nice descriptions.. flows well too. nice write.
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Storic: I like your interp of the poem, that is really cool that you got that from it, flattering, also, that you can see other things in it. I didn't think the piece made much sense, but it is good to know it made some. I like keeping my pieces open ended. They have a specific meaning to me, which I like to tell right out, but I like people to see their own things. Thanks!
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This is how i feel about life. Like the world is burned out. Good job.
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v. good
I read your poem with interest and then your author's comments. I did not interpret this poem as you explained it.
My interpretation was entirely different. Your poem painted pictures of an elderly person living alone and whose only contact with the outside world was through grimy windows. The dust was memories, and those who 'past' were those who didn't see her.
It was these lines that caused me to think that way:-
"There is no knock upon these doors,
There is no greeting from those who come.
Like the gateway to heaven, all who pass
Are tired and have lived long,-"
I enjoyed reading this poem and thank you for sharing.
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dood i would say that this was not what i imagined it to be, i really thought that you spoke lightly of this, i think that it is these gems that slip by unnoticed that are the best of them all. most of the writes that i have that are my best no one ever even looked at them, and that;s the way i like it. hee hee. but dood i though that i got some cool imagery with this, i could see the dust wraping around a turtle in the suet of this moment. hee hee have a great night! dood i live in houston and we totally are evacuating right now becuase of hurrican rita or something, it is madd funny that i am just chillin in my underpants in front of my computer when i should be like doing something that is a concern of life or something even more precious, lives. hee hee toodles
0nai -
Oh, I actually really like this poem. The line "The moon she doesn't kiss them" really stays with me. It's a good way to describe it in a way other than sunlight; I liked that.
I loved the imagery and I loved how you compare the hallway like to the gateway to Heaven despite the fact that your poem is entitle "Gateway to Nowhere." Very nice.
Overall, I think this is a good piece, full of imagery, and isn't it great when you get inspired by ordinary things?
xoxo
~Danni -
I changed those two lines, any better?
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Oooh! Oooh! I'll read it, Erin! I'll read it!!! reads busily
Wow, I was reading WAAAAAAAY more into that than was actually there... I guess that's a compliment to you though, right? You crafted something so universal out of your experience that anyone can relate and put their own spin on it!
Personally, I happened to LIKE this write. "It isn't the best poem in the world..." Nice try, Erin. Stop putting yourself down all the time!
My only suggestion for you is that in the lines "The eye above my head does watch" and "The moon she does not kiss them" you remove "does". I know you've made a stylistic choice with that, but this particular construction feels archaic and sounds out of place. Use active verbs, like "The eye above my head watches"!
Great write, Erin! Keep it up!!!
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