We went past a stately dome
Clicked our heels and wished to go home
Witnessed the birth of Venus on the foam
And ended up dying all alone
This mind is sullied and rotten.....
Filled with the attics of the toy's forgotten
And the influence of our peers and parents and sordid life
End it all with the sharp blade of a silver knife
Cut out the thoughts that want to destroy
Like the sneaky victory of the wooden horse of Troy
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.....
Avert your eyes from the appearance of the Devil in the South
Forget the prayers and the talismans and the Magick charms
Self injure and forever try and atone by mutilations and the self harm
For I am Lucifer and the personification of the Great Beast
That you invoked and managed to unchain and unleash
Muttering your prayers under your rancid breath
Will only result in a more harmful and more painful death
I am the rage that depths the bottom of your sinful and darkened soul
I am the accursed and the pregnant and expectant and horrible hole
I am the dark and the motivator of the fear
I am the tragedy of the King of Lear
I am the whistle of the whiplash in the gallow rope
I am the purveyor of despair and the lost hope
Take another reek of that acrid and sleepy dope.....
And forget what I said
As they lay you down in a box dead
No time to click those heels
This is reality and this is how it feels.....
Georges.
Author notes
Written September 19th, 2005. Author Georges.
In a list
A contest entry
- Death,cutting, dark, bring it on!! by HisDarlingDisaster.
301 points, ended November 4, 2006, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For those of you who've commented.. by Repetitious Chaos.
1000 points, ended January 5, 2007, 11 entries
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450 points, ended January 7, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sentimental Anger by Tweedle Dee.
634 points, ended February 15, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love is the slowest form of suicide... by Yours-To-Have.
500 points, ended March 22, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Are you truly dark by Dark Whispers.
300 points, ended June 18, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~5 Options Contest~ by KateMadness.
450 points, ended July 4, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want To Win a Contest? by ArmorXForXSleep.
360 points, ended July 31, 2007, 154 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Love You [show me your best] by thelovesongwriter.
800 points, ended July 29, 2007, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options and shizz yeah? by Ilma.
600 points, ended July 31, 2007, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ensnarement of Sorrow [ a dark poetry contest ] by gasolinequeen.
445 points, ended August 22, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ Blackend Love ♥ by stop a bullet.
385 points, ended August 5, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Experience and Emotion by Dreams27.
450 points, ended August 24, 2007, 41 entries
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500 points, ended August 29, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - seven deadly sins by xBluexEyedxGirlx.
600 points, ended August 30, 2007, 16 entries
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525 points, ended September 30, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The words we leave UNSPOKEN, just leaves our hearts BROKEN by Musicqueen1012.
750 points, ended September 13, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Andii.
600 points, ended September 15, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Felt" poetry. ONLY by shirk.
1500 points, ended October 8, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want DEEP emotion! make me feel... by gochristyromano.
600 points, ended November 5, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This is your contest not mine, no restriction what so ever. by nerd42189.
550 points, ended October 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Desperation by Destined4Destruction.
550 points, ended November 16, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dwelling In Darkness. by artis.
600 points, ended December 4, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - VERY best of dark by psychiatrists dream.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - oogaboogashoogalooga...this is serious by Starlette.
525 points, ended December 7, 2007, 150 entries
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400 points, ended January 9, 2008, 28 entries
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550 points, ended January 24, 2008, 44 entries
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450 points, ended January 29, 2008, 21 entries
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500 points, ended March 28, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
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500 points, ended July 28, 2008, 79 entries
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650 points, ended September 4, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness and Love, Demons above by AbandonedAngel.
350 points, ended September 19, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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wow amazing this is really cool
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I love the ancient references hidden in there, that's something I can appreciate. The rhyme flowed smoothly and overall this is a decent poem. Thank you for entering it.
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damn! nice!!!
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Firstly, let me say apologies for the late judgement of this contest, The rhyme scheme was celever, and well maintained, some very nicely used imagery and metaphor too. As a whole, i enjoyed the read. Thanks for the entry and i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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a wonderfully written poem,thanks for entering and good luck!
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the list of accolades says it all below your entry, excellent write, many gold cups for its contents to spill into,
a resting place in the dark bottom of precious mettalling in your life. I liked this poem, but it is like a well read book, entered into by many minds and delighted over. thanks for your entry. ~~Artis
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Thanks for entering such a great poem....
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The flow, the form, the meanining, the words, everything! This is just so amazing. I also like how you threw in some references to history/mythology(which are two of my favorite subjects.) My favorite part has to be the reppetition of 'I am' though, which has always compelled me to read faster in poetry. *Sigh* This is definitely a winner!
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this poem was really strongly written and i loved the way it flowed...good luck
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a really good piece of work. I like the rhyme, very effective. thanks for entering, take care, Sam (Dreams27) xxx
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A very good piece.. The first two lines really drew me in.. great form and flow to the piece. I really enjoyed reading it. Thatnks for entering and good luck with my contest.
}{aley -
This piece is stunning. Your vocabularly and sentence structure were both flawless and unusual, and the subject matter was very interesting as well. It created images in my mind as I read, and that is the sort of poetry that is the darkest of all. Thank you so much for entering, and the best of talent to you in the contest.
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HOLY CRAP!!! This was amazing. I loved it. You totally deserved to win. This was awesome. Great piece.
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Absolutely loved it. Your grasp of the language is wonderful, and the way you have written this is beautiful. I loved so many individual parts, especially 'No time to click those heels
This is reality and this is how it feels.....'
A wonderful entry, best of luck
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creative & unique write thanks for entering & good luck!
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Wicked
I love it because it shows feelings and it scares me a little. I've NEVER had a poem scare me, yet I don't even know why the heck I am scared.
Impressive work here, and I am really glad I got the chance to read it! ^_^
Best of luck to you. -
For I am Lucifer and the personification of the Great Beast
That you invoked and managed to unchain and unleash
Muttering your prayers under your rancid breath
Will only result in a more harmful and more painful death
I am the rage that depths the bottom of your sinful and darkened soul
Deadly impressive. but it won't win. one gold for this already, it might though recieve another award. beautifully horrid, in the good way.
My wishes.
3fotnuocano -
it was good but i just couldnt seem to stay interested ...
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Again, let me know which option the poem falls into so I can judge it!
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This is a well written poem... It flowed great and I loved your description... keep up the good work and good luck in my contest....
Loves....
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this is an amazing poem and ...wow. you describe all these things, bad shit and then go this is reality and it was...true. brutal honesty. great poem. good luck in the contest and keep writing
Thankyou For Entering -
good, its very nice when poets put all there lines together instead of using stanza's, i also like how you have on short stanza then one long one.
this is an awesome poem.
thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Kankainiku -
that is so cool and such a nice poem. it is harsh though but it makes it all the better. thanks for joining my contest and good luck.
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(do not remove while in contest)***
Edited on Feb 26, 11:31 p.m. because ''. -
meaningful to me.
This brilliant, this painted a clear picture in my head(well it's more like a cliche "clip" in my head) -
Holy carptastic write! I love it very, very much. Not to mention you got something so dark and so deep to rhyme so very very well. It just sucks you down into the darkness with each line and you feel it surrond you. Wonderful write no doubt, definatly one of my favorites of dark poems. Keep writing! I love the end, and how it closes it so nicely, wonderful, just yeah...
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Very dark perspective on life...the ending is superb. Good luck in the contest
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wow....wow....and wow. this has 2 b one of the darkest poems i've ever read. i love it, not only does it portray the narrator as a thing of darkness, but it seems to make the writer seem to have a spirit belonging to the night. i love it, this is absolutely astounding! GREAT WRITE! comment on one of my poems and i'll comment on more of urs! keep up the great work, i hope to read more soon!
~Kariime~ -
oh that sent chills down my spine! that was soo good it was perfect for whaat I have been looking for! it chills it cools it fears and deepens into you with every word the relality comes clear! I love this piece! Such will be added to my favorites indeed! *dances*
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as usual a good write. keep it up.
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Interesting
Good work, very..well, thanks to recent events, thought provoking. I wonder though, you say to avert your eyes from the devil in the south, and then call yourself Lucifer. Are you trying to say nobody should look at you? -
my brain actoult took the time to see waht was meent in this peice and i believe i understand and therealty of the world is like that. its befesing sometimes
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Very dark and forboding Georges lad.
As usual, beautifully written.
Robin. -
Macabre masterpiece!
This seems to get progressively darker, and you effectively evolve into evil incarnate. It sounds as if this life has changed you into a powerfully evil entity. In a world that inflicts so much suffering and despair, you refuse to remain a passive victim. You rightly dismiss the naivete of optomists who believe in simple solutions or help through prayer and talismans and the like. These things are meaningless in the face of death and destruction. This poem is definitely not for the "cheerful" types, as it delves into the depths of darkness. You definitely invoke the demonic with wonderful imagery. You tell it like it is from your point of view, with no apologies. If there is a hell, I could see this poem painted on the walls in blood. This is one of the best works I have seen lately in this genre. Many attempt to sound "dark" or "troubled" but you have a quality that rings genuine. A wonderfully disturbing piece! Keep it up! -
A poem that just gets better as you near the end, unlike the life of a mortal. Great Write! Your poetic imagery is amazing too. Keep the ink flowing.
~val~
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wow, I really like this. It's like the deepness I like to write about. You really get into it and it's a good way with your words. It's sweet.
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Dang... how dark and creepy. Obviously I've never been to hell, but just reading this makes me glad I'm not going. You've really got a way with words and how to make them have an effect on people. Spectacular.
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i feel this one in the depths of a blackened soul and tainted mind its aritsitic perfection its evily beautiful
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Liked it
I like this poem. I like how it changes from perspective to perspective. I especially like the ending in this one. -
I liked this, its good......
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