He's a cold stare
(that First month,)
his grim face
the ominous sky,
its inverted belly
urking malady,
renegade of doom.
Stabbing hard air-
knifes a warm body
begging
begging,
begging for heat.
Down Lagoon Way,
sad exploited houses
lined up like victims
garbed in dingy suits
of peeling shingles
spiraling ghosts
ascend from
crooked smoke stacks,
alleyways unlock
the gush of frozen winds
spiked with fried pork and
scallions in dark grease
prudent packs
of speckled old
vagabond canines
follow
follow,
follow Maggie
to the heather beds
and wrap around her toes
in the canvas tent-
where haloed
by burning bees wax
and fragments of coal,
her muskrat stole-
plastic posies
cracked photos
make the flame of her hope
And she prays,
prays,
prays
away till May.
"January is an empty man with a gripping stare and a biased grudge."
Painting-Spohler Landscape-Winter Lagoon.
Author notes
A bit grim, but just had to imagine how Maggie must feel. The street urchins of our towns have a story, I'm sure. Much like this one.
Written January 18th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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one of the best ever
This poem is worthy of the finest literary magazine!. It is an outstanding delight with imagery that is stirring and it has a rhythm that fits the whole thing beautifully. You are a very
fine poet and I am honored to have read this piece. Hugs WolfHeart -
Ahhh __ I see. Very nice.
Well imaged and descripted. -
This is definitely one of my favorites that I have read of yours. The way you can describe scenes is amazing! You paint pictures with words, not leaving out emotion and sensations. The way this poem flowed and everything about it is intriguing.
-Renee -
Wow...not really sure what to say about this, but yeah. It's incredible, a very well written write
Meg -
Once again, I feel transported like i am seeing this thru your eyes so vividly.
This stanza imparticular shows your strength with imagery;
"sad exploited houses
lined up like victims
garbed in dingy suits
of peeling shingles" really strong !
Touching piece of work, as always...much respect,
~ Wendy
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don't touch it!
Grim but regal in its way. Images are perfectly marvelous and the mood is so wintery. I think you should write more in this style for awhile. It has set you free. -
neutral
You not only paint with words, you touch all the senses... Remarkable poem.
I especially love;
'Stabbing hard air- '
Amazing work,
~Wendy -
neutral
hi. i deceided to give this one a look after you said that it was similar to the one you read of mine. this is very impressive. i love social/political poems about the state of the world and such. they always seem to be the most honest. this was a really great write. the situation of lower class america is something to be noticed, and the problems those people deal with as well. thanks for sharing. bye bye. -
don't touch it!
Chilling imagery,striking*,suspensful*
A briliant composition!* -
Thank you so, gecko
Ughhhhhhh...gecko. Do you want me to get really uptight and ask 'fess up to the weather manz???LOL.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I'll TAKE IT!!! lol
Edited by CookieZeal on right now. -
neutral
this is gorgeous Cookie
beautifuly done
hey do you want some of our wheather??
only 113' yesterday
:) -
neutral
OOOOOH this was fantastic!!!
i just love your style,
a very haunting feel to this
really took my mind
thankyou!!!
ashes -
excellent
it is kind of odd. . it's good though. -
excellent
woah this is odd. its kinda creepy, i'm not sure if i get it completly, i'd read it again but my eyes won't stay open much longer. but anyways. i like it. and the background is really cool. -
don't touch it!
Hey cookie
This is a great poem
it gave me kinda a spooky feeling
but I liked it you were very descriptive
and the put a good vision in my mind of what you are writing about!
Thats something alot of poets dont do even though it helps
the feeling of the poem
GREAT JOB!
*HUGGS*
~JoeY~ -
excellent
You have created some strong images here... it is amazing what you have done with these words. I love this poem... it is a great write that got me thinking!!
*~shootingstar~* -
excellent
this left me with an eerie feeling, something that is quite hard to do...a powerful piece i must say... -
don't touch it!
I came here because Jaden was telling me about your venture into freestyle. I find Jaden to be right on the mark here with his comments. This poem personifies January in such a genuine and hu(man)ly manner. The images spark with universals & I do not find this to be so grim as it is representative... -
don't touch it!
Oh I like this one also, fabulous write. Yes a little grim but ties in well with the tale you're telling. The back ground fits too sets the scene. Great write. -
don't touch it!
You have an amazing array of images packed into this...very impressive writing. The mood of the poem really fits that painting...and it also fits my mood today. I love the quote at the end. -
excellent
I like this, its very orginal, and not quiet like anything else i've read so far on here! Thats a big challenge! I like the background image too :) -
don't touch it!
Wow! This is an incredible write! Filled with so many emotions and beautiful imagery:) Took my breath away when I read it! I really loved this poem:) You are a very talented writer CookieZeal:) Keep up the awesome work!
James -
excellent
I like the wandering imagery, all free and easy. I have the January blues, so the first couple lines grabbed me! -
don't touch it!
burning beez wax? sparkling acid indeed! ;) this was a bit grim for you aunt cooks, been readin my work a little too much? haha. rockin job on this, loving the imagery i got, i could almost smell the smoldering newspapers in the rusted buckets -
Actually, I've been combing the net trying to find one. The concept would be of the slums. ...at night preferrably. How'd ya know?
-
neutral
Do you suppose there could be a picture to go along with this? Or artwork?
Just an idea I had. News at eleven. -
don't touch it!
fantastic job
imagery is so well done
the hint of grim
suits :) -
excellent
Great descriptions it has such vivid images! Awsome job CookieZeal -
neutral
Y'know, it doesn't get much better than this. Think I'm going to promote you for awhile. If you don't mind, that is. -
don't touch it!
Yeah! Cookie goes freestyle! And what a freestyle it is:
Descriptive, words bordering on the tangible, images gone wild but tied beautifully together, great pace. . .
The best I've ever read of yours. . .much to enjoy despite, as you say, its grim theme.
Reading this, I don't mind my eyes getting 'grim-y' -
neutral
its inverted belly
urking malady,
renegade of doom.
I love this description! Really stimulates the immagination!
spiraling ghosts
ascend from
crooked smoke stacks,
Another extraordinary description!
Wow... such a solemn write, but packed with vivid images. This is being marked as a favorite. -
excellent
Wonderful write with great visuals --- reminded me of places I've seen like New Orleans, Belize, Hong Kong ... but any gasoline alley, teeming with humanity, could be depicted here ...
chris -
excellent
WOW!
Edited by Chris Kramer on right now because 'had two comments and didn't want to be repetitious !!!'. -
excellent
the visuals, the smells, everything comes to life so well.
a great display of talent.
WSD -
neutral
great imagery in this piece...Victoria -
excellent
Wow, really cool, that's neat! :) -
don't touch it!
Beautiful! I love it. The descriptions are great.
spiraling ghosts
ascend from
crooked smoke stacks,
Favourite part of mine.
Eowyn -
excellent
sounds almost like an alley hurricane?
not certain
but has a scarey feel to it.....
Edited by tamara88 on right now because 'adding'.
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