First death of the year.
Labeled, tagged, and tucked away
From the view of polite society.
Tiny headline too small for older folks to read.
Not even an obituary, buried amid the trivial
Pretty news.
Your name, a mystery.
Your anonymity forever
Saved from fame
By those who turn their nose in
Disdain at your demise.
On New Year's Eve,
Unnoticed,
Drunk tank,
Convulsing in your own waste
While no one bothered
To call for a medic.
You might think it odd
That you are the one I would
Call back from the great beyond,
But there I was,
Basking in my own wealth of sobriety.
Escaped from the horrible death
That came for you.
How many times, I have refused a drink
In times too painful to grasp
With clear mind.
Because of you,
Nameless and forgotten drunk,
Scourge of society.
Perhaps you sat a while
In our cushy, warm and fuzzy
Twelve step functions and we never noticed
While we relished our own freedom from
Chemicals
And bragged at our accomplishments,
Clean dates, or celibacy.
We patted ourselves on the back
At our ability to usher in the New Year
Sober, as if we were something special.
I wish I could to tell you
You didn't die in vain.
Someone noticed.
Someone cared.
Someone cried for you
While she counted her blessings
And breathed sober one more day
In your memory.
Author notes
second option..or first option. I am torn 
Written September 18th, 2005
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Lol, I don't think there is any wrong way to take a poem when we read it. It is important to know what people get out of a piece and even more important that people get anything at all
This is a piece that I made some tweeks in and removed the original authors notes explaining it so that people could give me their reactions to the piece without me telling them what to think. .
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment, as well as holding a contest that allowed prewrites. -
this is good. its hard to lose someone wondering if they knew that we cared. i might be thinking of this in the wrong way, but i like it.
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Girl i like it like it is. And its true. We tend to pass over THOSE PEOPLE... But i always say, "There but for the grace of God , go I.) A very good poem
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Thanks so much for the comments and for stopping by.
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"How many times, I have refused a drink
In times too painful to grasp
With clear mind.
Because of you,
Nameless and forgotten drunk,
Scourge of society."
That stanza won it for me. I feel the realness of this and because of this stanza i believe in your sincerity. Things like this happen all the time and no one cares, i love that you care and that this poem is so good at showing it. Too many people die without someone there for them, or without someone knowing they were there. Loverly poem, great write, i think it's sound as it is -
excellent
This is excellent work! It was very touching, and adding a comment like that at the end was a nice touch. I think there should be a few commas in the last stanza. -
hey, that was pretty good! I like it! It was kinda sad though...
Edited on Sep 29, 8:38 because ''. -
Thanks for the feedback, abigail. I really do want to get a variety of feedback on this one as it is a topic so dear to my heart. I am stubborn and just refuse to allow this man's life to be a waste. The God that I understand --or misunderstand at times -- doesn't waste anyone. He affected me in a very possitive manner even though I never knew his name. I woke up that morning all proud of myself for making it through the night before, picked up the morning paper, and thumbed through it looking at the headlines. I rarely actually read the paper. I mostly just read the headlines, and I was actually skimming for articles written by a friend of mine who was a journalist at that particular one. The tiny little article about his death just caught my eye, then the reality of what I was reading made a tremendous impression on me and it changed the way I look at my own recovery. This little anonymous man changed me for the better. When all else fails, and my life seems to be crap and my mind tells me that a drink would make it better, I remember him. When I am in recovery meetings, I make a point to check the back row and catch the newcomer who tries to sneak out early and at least give them a warm smile and a welcoming handshake. I go a bit more out of my way to notice the people who have a smile on their face, but are twisting in their own skin. Since then, I have made a point to pay attention to people in general and at least offer some encouragement. He was a ripple in my pond and I in turn, have tried to be a possitive ripple in the ponds of others.
Ack, sorry so wordy. And, truly, thanks so much for the feedback. -
i just read this from the group read i don't think it needs anything doing to it to make it better, i could tell you to take out a few words but which oners without taking away the poem, do you get me? this i think is a truly well spoken piece as it's not rhyme but it sill flowed along consistently in a free flow orm it was well worded, descriptive and too sad, such a waste of life and so sad how it ends all to quick and needless and then the worst for noone to notice as it is a seemingly brought upon yourself thing and there comes the hypocrite in all of us. well done lol abigailxx
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Thanks so much for the comments. I could go on for days about the hypocracy of those who found their way out of hell, but think someone else deserves to be there. But I will spare you the drama . Sigh, people will never be entirely without foolish pride that tells them they did something special to be delivered from something that nearly destroyed them. Darn humans .
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I am truly grateful that you had made sure that I read this. Though my recovery is different, I am still affected by alcoholism and such, and am in my own 12 step program. And I have no problem breaking my own anonymity saying this.
Yep, people in them can be so hypocritical at times. It’s quite distressing. But, you have done a fantastic job with expressing yourself, using your own experience, strength and hope for others to possibly be “educated” about this kind of thing. Well done!
~ John
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i luv it
i think its great how it is, i wouldnt take out the last stanza or change it at all, i think that even though we already know everything in the last stanza, saying together gets it more to the point. my only problem was that in the beginning it took a long time for it to make sense to me, but i think thats just bc im slow lol -
I believe the last stanza is redundant, and I
would end it after the third, because everything that's
spoken in the last stanza we already know. -
Lol. Is that a good Holy Crap or a bad one Thanks for the response either way. It made me smile.
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holy crap!!!! sorry... i don't say it that much, but this deserves a holy crap. wow. i'm a bit lightheaded, excuse me...
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that is very sad....awww...that sucks...anyway..thnx for th comment..i apprecaite the spelling correction..i suck at spelling...anyway great poem
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