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GRIPping


I still think of you
As I cuddle my pillow
Remembering what was once
So awesome, thinking- maybe again

Although not likely now

I’d stop the world to melt with you
And as cheeky and cliché as it all sounds
Those sounds are loud within my head
And I can’t seem to shut them up

Memories are like photo books
And our pictures won’t fade
They’re gripping me
And I wish I was gripping you

Author notes

Although not likely now
Written September 17th, 2005

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • fangtacular
    December 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this applies to tons of breakups. I think I'd feature this for you, but alas, I have no points. I accidentally spent them applauding some of your previous work and tipped it off by giving you 6 more because i couldn't applaud. besides, i know you can use it for spindicated...which reminds me i should get cracking

  • fangtacular
    September 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    haunted by lingering memories. beautiful companion peice to the work "history"


  • kryspin
    September 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    you should read my lesson on literary devices. the word sound has double meaning. it means to hear in one line and another in the other line

  • Silent Cries
    September 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    "I'll stop the world and melt with you" I like that song.

    And as cheeky and cliché as it all sounds
    Those sounds are loud within my head

    I always tried to avoid using the the same words like that in two lines one right after the other, like how you used "sound" twice. But idk, your the creative writing person (hence i read your authors page) I guess thats just something i always tried to steer clear of, and always pointed out in others poems.

    But i loved your poem! It was Beautiful!
    ~Jenn~


  • kryspin
    September 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    a rarity? hmmm lol i guess this does detract from what i usually write


  • Dorian Gray
    September 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hey Kryspin,
    This poem is awesome. Sad yet sweet, and rather a rarity from you, from what I usually read. Well done, this is lovely. Oh yeah, I've started my column for spindicated at last
    tatty bye darling,
    Luke

  • darkminded
    September 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    your still my fav your still the best and i still love you,,, and your for got y=why lol *hugs*

  • virtual orchestra
    September 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great write! Your words are really flowing and easy to understand. I really like that you said your thought was cliche, because in some senses it is, but in the same way, it's not at all. Awesome job, keep up the good work, and write more!

    <3 Rachael

1 - 8 of 8