My senses are running haywire
I'm hated, that much I know
I've done the most heinous thing
Killed the last defense
Protector of the innocents against
Terrors the night sky will bring
Horrors beyond the wildest nightmares
I've killed, in short, the man they named Albus Dumbledore
And now the kids are screaming
My stomach continues to churn
Secrets I have hidden within me
Will remain there 'til in hell I burn
Author notes
Obviously this is a poem inspired by the fantastical world of Harry Potter. I've written something from Snape's point of view, after he uttered Dumbledore's fatal words, as he runs away from civilisation. It's a bit rubbish, and I know that sometimes the rhyme doesn't rhyme. But tell me what you think...
Written September 17th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thanks for capturing that heaving burden Harry feels when dear Dumbledore leaves us all to do nothing but weep in the shadows of his glowing presence.
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Actually I was capturing the burden that Snape feels. But thanks for your comment.
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yay. thanks v much for the comments. It would be tres amazing if they did turn against Voldemort in the real thing, seeing as this fanfictional route has already been lodged into the hearts of thousands upon thousands of readers. The film comes out this Friday, and it will be very funny!!
Montague -
Sometimes I like rubbish. I hope beyond hope that Snape and Draco turn against Voldemort and somehow fall in league with the Order of the Phoenix. I think that Snape really had changed. I hope he convinces Draco to do the same.
I'll be back after the night tolls midnight to applaud you.
Auntie Maab -
I like this, has a good flow and way to it. No errors grammatically or spelling-wise. Great write, enjoyed it thoroughly
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this is pretty cool... Its easy to understand and follow and it has sense of regretfulness to it.. I really like this viewpoint
I'm not positive about how he felt about killing him, but I hope that this is somewhere along the lines of what he really felt, cause then I wont have to hate him as much
Great write! Keep it up
~Writer
(P.S. If you wanted to, you could add this poem to the group reading page on the Harry Potter Fans club... only if you want to though... I'm not gonna force ya
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eeep!ya potter obsessive you!lol!its a good poem...wasn't a big fan of the book myself but thats just opinion. anyhoo good work, who cares if it rhymes or doesn't rhyme thats not important in poetry cos its writing what you want how you want not how others do! keep writing
Dara
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Hahaha, I thought of adding a bit more to it, but then couldn't think of anything else and didn't wanna ruin the poem as it existed. Yeah, I totally loved the HP6 book, you're right about that. I just hated some parts of it where JKR didn't write it very well. !! Wanna go see the movie when it comes out, but the trailers show that they've got really bad hair styles. Also, wanna read the next book pretty soon, but doubt that JKR will get it out in time!
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xXx Montague -
YAY Harry Potter poem!
Teehee...
I think it needs a tad more to it, perhaps some more menacing images, I do love this part:
Protector of the innocents against
Terrors the night sky will bring
Horrors beyond the wildest nightmares
I've killed, in short, the man they named Albus Dumbledore
Lovely this is. Really. I just think you might need to add more. Nice to see you back after long time. I guess you really enjoyed the Harry Potter book. LOL! It was greeeaaat. Can't WAIT for the new film... Anyhoot. I am fine ta, started college which is great! Doing English and it is good, loving it so far. Thank you for your wonderful comments. I love hearing from you as you are so honest with what you say, you don't ramble. Teeehee... Thank you and like I said, great to have you back!!! Mucho Loveo!
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♥Becky♥
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