OK, Eliot,
it’s late, I’m tired,
and I have to read your Wasteland.
I prefer ‘Hollow Men’.
Want to hear the song I did to it?
Oh, you probably already did,
you being ‘Up There’ and all…
OK, Eliot, this Wasteland better be good.
My guess is you will be painting your message with scenes
that I will have to go work on and research to figure out
and I'll have to read your lengthy footnotes, too,
just to understand your original meaning again!
Failing that, I will construct my own superficial meanings
over yours, like rat's feet over broken glass
in the dry cellar of my mind,
which would be derived from my limited experiences,
to be used in my pathetic limited life.
Gurgling. I hear gurgling.
OK, it’s gone.
Now, you are wise enough, Mr. Eliot,
to know that a really good work
will offer something to everyone,
even I, who has so little worldly experience,
and who would glean for my own use
whatever I need from your poem.
So let me journey through your worldly craftsmanship,
born of bygone days, and see what I can use
in these present times…
I. THE BURIAL OF THE DEAD
'Fear in a handful of dust', nice, Eliot,
all the more fearful being shrouded in German…
Oh, that’s right, you were before the second Great War…
Well, Eliot, Germany continued its quest to go 'Colonial Power'…
300 years too late!
But that’s another story…
Back to your Wasteland…
By the way, it’s nice talking to you, Eliot!
Pleased to meet you!
So far this is a European journey perhaps for you here, Eliot?
Very exquisite for your time, and quite interesting.
Your time in writing style was extremely verbose, Eliot.
You reflect that well, yet artistically.
In context, I can appreciate the color of your writing better.
'Unreal City'.
Excellent sentiment, Eliot!
Excuse me for a moment, Eliot,
I have a tantalizing IM to tend to… brb…
...OK, back... frivolous matters of the heart
with one of my AP daughters…
don’t you wish you were here, Eliot?!!!
Your Unreal City of London is much like New York City today, Eliot,
which I visit often and used to work in...
except for the dead corpses
planted in the backyards of your London
being dug up by stray dogs…
in New York the dead corpses walk the streets
at night. lol
II. A GAME OF CHESS
Are you trying to tell me, Eliot,
that you are playing chess with a woman?
You are not concentrating on the game,
are you, Eliot! lol
You are dwelling far too long on the woman!
Eliot! You rascal, you!
So you look around the room in intellectual delight,
and she wants small talk. Typical!
She asks you, “What are you thinking, Eliot?”
You think, “I think we are in rats’ alley
where the dead men lost their bones.”
OK, Eliot, I wouldn’t speak if I were you,
not if you want to get to second base with this woman!!!
Just stay the silent, mysterious intellectual type, Eliot!
III. THE FIRE SERMON
Well, Eliot, you begin this vignette in your usual morbid self,
with rats and bones…
nice thought, a ‘violet’ hour… like twilight…
the twilight of our lives…
that’s why you sit and lament over your man boobs…! lol
OK, insensitive I am. snicker…
Hey, Eliot! Who’s the lady you just jumped all over!
I must go back a few lines, I was dwelling on your… oh, never mind…
the typist! Oh, you scoundrel!!!
Obviously a daydream for you, Eliot! lol
Kind of erotic, though…
“a record on the gramophone”
Kind of sensual here… in a period way…
You said, ‘la la’ to the sermon…
bad boy, Eliot!
IV. DEATH BY WATER
A nice little ditty you have here, Eliot,
about Phlebas the Phoenician…
now excuse me while I go google him…
Oh Jesus Crap! What a bunch of academic horsedung
there is on this guy and how he relates to your poem!
Yuck! I’ll just draw my own unworldly conclusions
that I can apply to my own little corner of the world.
I know you don’t mind, Eliot, but all those academia’s…
I’ll see nothing but their upturned noses
for one of your fortnights or two!
V. WHAT THE THUNDER SAID
Cool idea, Eliot. Let’s see what the thunder said…
let me predict: Rats and Bones! lol
Nice meter, Eliot! You’ve got a traditional poem here…
Death and dying, but nice meter, Eliot!
Quite an abstract painting I see…
your words, they have a flavor… like coffee.
So it's the entire history of human civilization that you hear being played out
within the rolling thunder… vivid imagination, Eliot,
vivid imagination.
Well, Eliot, it's been a pleasure.
I think you've made a lasting impression on me!
Now let's get back to our multitasking!
Later, Eliot!
Author notes
My big adventure with Eliot!
Written September 17th, 2005
In a list
- Spontaneous- Many, but Not All • next in list
- Short List- Ever Changing With Time and Moods • next in list
A contest entry
- A Big Adventure: The Waste Land by cvillelisa.
600 points, ended October 21, 2005, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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lol, that's funny. He is one of my absolute favorite poets. I have the entire first section of "the Hollow Men"
tattooed on my left shin. I have a pic of it posted on here. Rats and glass and all...
Very entertaining.
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I put "Hollow Men" to song... I'll have to transfer it from cassette tape to computer... "rats feet over broken glass" yes lol what a dismal guy...
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Hello! Just caught your hearty comment to my sci-fi, erm, comment.
I'm proud to say I've given my so-far best comment in AP to you . 
Be well!
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The violet hour is one of my favorite descriptions .. violet seems a perfect poem word.
This is an interesting and very humanly approach God knows I've been running around his poem and my life in preparation for judging this sucker ..
It brought a few smiles to my face "just tell her your a quiet intellectual"
Thanks so very much for entering the contest and for your patience as I "prepared myself" for judging.
Interesting lot they were at that time huh?
Again, thanks again and I hope to put this baby to its violet end by tonight.
Lisa
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Well, first, Ms. Abernaith, I'm heartened that anyone read far enough to actually get to those parts...! Second, if I don't applaud your stunning comment may I be sucked into a black hole with no LOLOLOL! lol You have given me an infusion of new inspiration... and tons of energy I've seemed to be lacking of late in certain realms... I will put you on my 'Poets I Must Look Into' list... (newly created in your honor!) hmmm... now what kind of smiley would I give to a person like yourself... well, don't know, so I'll just try a bunch and let you pick your favorite!
ummmm... I don't know too many more off the top of my head... 
♥ ♠ ♣ oh yeah, 
! A great sci-fi comment! 
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"Eliot! You rascal, you!"
I almost died laughing with this.
"the typist! Oh, you scoundrel!!!"
Now this one really killed me.
"You said, ‘la la’ to the sermon…
bad boy, Eliot!"
Fortunately, this one resurrected me from the clutches of Rat's Alley. OMFG. This was a pleasure to read.
Later, wbiro.
Postscript:
In Intergalactic News - ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS BLACKHOLE opened up quite recently in Sector 79340 of the Delta Quadrant in the Berdooli System of the Solensis Outer Rim Regions. A gaggle of scientific scoutships sent to the rim of this new hole in the universal pocket, named "Margolotha Three-Eckses 3.059" by The Usual Suspected Knowers (the leading experts of Universal Theoretisms And Herpes), reported a steady stream of eerie otherworldly noises coming from the depths of the paradimensional vortex. TUSK recently submitted a translation of the "noises" to the Intergalactic Rotary Surveillance (which is its chief sponsor for this epic project) and Intergalactic News has managed to "acquire" some of the (de)classified data, specifically the recording of the noises translated to the Universal Tongue, Zooon. Without further ado, here it is:
"...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!"
"And that's about really it," said M. Innonect, who had nothing to do with the "acquiring" of this transliterated recordings. Jimm H. Yendrix, former Galactic Poet and Champion Philo-Theorist Superstar said, "LOLOL? Are you sure!? Oh...this is BIG! This is BIGGER than the UNIVERSE! For I do believe this blackhole is a doorway to the Celestial Shores. Where the World-Turtles lay their eggs and the pineapples of God sing."
"Are you bezoooning me!?" argues Ma Fa Quatee, lead singer of The Best Damn Band In The Universe. "Pineapples don't sing 'lolol'. I'm the lead singer for The Best Damn Band in The Universe, so I should know other beings' songs as well as I know the back of my sixth toe. So I know for sure, and I guarantee that I know it for sure, that pineapples can only sing "Lu-lu-lu-lu!" and never NEVER "LOLOLOL!"
Be it a message from the Greater Spheres, a sign of the End Times, or celestial pineapples singing, Intergalactic News (in cooperation with TUSK) knows for certain that the Universe is listening right now, with question marks on their heads/pillars of wisdom/ knowledge-vacuums/ central stomachs.
by Aneemugnos
---
In another Universe, in a Planet called Earth, aka The Real World:
A girl had just finished reading the most hilarious "poetical analysis" of T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland". And she laughed so hard she turned blue, for one second. And in that second, her throat sucked up so much laughter from her belly that it pulled tremendous wind and brain power into a vortex that manifested itself as a blackhole in some other insignificant facsimile of a universe...
End!
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I liked the nonchalant way of juxtaposing things/events. That satirical tone and some of those naughty images make it even more Eliot-esque!
Edited on Oct 01, 9:59 because ''. -
thanks for the comment, DeBracey... yes, talking to Eliot is in some respects like talking to God! lol
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thanks, Wat, I guess the key word in your comment was 'creative'!
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I had to chuckle at this. Ssshh, sometimes I have thought this about it (Eliot's poem) as well, like one of those cds that sometimes you sit and listen to , dripping with empathy and ecstacy, and another time you could throw it out of the window because it drones a load of irritating crap. I loved this, the conversational approach reminded me of that WW2 Soldier's Prayer, 'Now look here, God, I don't believe in you really, but...'
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Nicely creative take on the contest, and the wasteland!
peace
doug
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Thanks, Nikolai, I think those knowledgable with Eliot would enjoy this piece more than others! Iconoslast- a person seeking to destroy conventional ideas or institutions...! lol well, I'm not seeking... just doing!
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Haha Nice iconoclast. I enjoy this very much.
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Yeah, a Lit major & a former college librarian, sans any degree to show for it all... & ya didn't have to tell on yourself, Wayne...That's why I IM'd ya!!! Hey, at least you admit to being a fallible human...that's more than most would do...newfound respect atcha, my Friend... Wanda
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A lit major! Well, Wanda, you are a treasure! I'm glad you liked it, hey, is that only one "L" in Eliot? Oh yeah! Oops! I have some editing to do! lol !
Edited on Sep 17, 10:45 because ''. -
This was quite the wonderful read Wayne. I felt like I was reading a Stephen King novel. Very descriptive and full of imagery and oh the real life of AP mixed in there as well. Very well done. Well worth the read. You should consider writing short stories or at least enter this in a contest somewhere .
Be Well and Be Blessed
Cyberartist has story conmtests or at least enters them, you might want to check him out for one
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I likes it. I likes it a lot. Ya done good. Ya googled it well. I likes your conversin' with the Man hissef...& yes, I'm being a Lit major imitating a stupid twit on purpose...Sighhh...
You've interpreted it in a whole new light, Wayne...one perhaps Eliot himself hadn't imagined...but then, we Poets are always amazed at the different perspectives our own words can have sometimes...it gives our poems an entirely different viewpoint & memory...well done, my Friend...Good luck in the contest, Wayne... Wanda
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Thank, mum! So you say your son talks too much! lol The wordiness mirrors Eliot's style, so it has a purpose!
Edited on Sep 17, 5:06 because ''. -
You have got to be the most wordy poet I know son of my heart! Reading you is always an adventure and an experience unlike any other, regardles of the topic. Knowing you, I can well imagine that you conducted a very thorough background search and study. There were parts that could have been less wordy perhaps but I did enjoy reading this and it certainly didn't take away from the pleasure. Besides, again I say, knowing you, this will be tweaked and contorted a dozen times until you consider it finito! Good luck in the contest.
(`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¤ ¸.•'´)¸.•'´)
~~~Touchof1der~~~
(, .•'(¸.•'´ ¤ `'•.¸)`'•.¸)
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