"Behold, my love, rise up and come away,"
He said with sweet alluring word-bouquet.
"Behold, my love" He spoke, "O thou art fair;
There is no one with beauty to compare."
His soft tongue rolled, "Rise up, and come to Me;
These vineyards in the valley are for thee."
"Until day breaks and shadows flee away,
On tender grapes the little foxes prey."
"I soon will get me to the mountain peak,"
He said with sweetness from His spicy cheek.
His lillied lips made my resistance flee,
With love, He sang alluring words so free.
There on his chest, I heard, and longed to stay,
A muffled paradise of Love's bouquet.
Author notes
Well, I've been wanting to write a poem from these two books, and possibly with some verses from Isaiah, for awhile now.
This form seemed very fitting for the way these thoughts were playing around in my head. I thank you, Samplette, for having this contest and introducing this form to me!
I may actually come back and re-work this... I'm not totally satisfied with it myself.
Written September 16th, 2005
In a list
- Scripture Poems • next in list
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- His Everlasting Love • next in list
- Form Poems • next in list
A contest entry
- Pleiadic [contest] by Samplette.
500 points, ended October 1, 2005, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I'm very honoured that you commented on it!
Yes, the book of the Song of Solomon was where I got my inspiration for this, actually.
This wasn't my personal favorite of the two I did, but many other people have liked it.
I really enjoyed this form- I'm so glad you invented it!
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I do not feel up to critiquing poetry today - I am taking very heavy antibiotics, which have left my brain more than a little woozy...
But as someone has just discovered that this competition took place, I felt I must contact those people who took an interest in the form.
And I have to say that I found this poem very appealing. Even though I had to strain to read it in your light-brown-on-pink colour-scheme.
It reminds me very much of the "Song of Songs" -
Yes, it is true that I am a member of Allpoetry - but I do have a life in poetry outside of this organization.
I invented the Pleiadic back in 1963-4, when I was working on my "sketchbook in verse" of Orkney ("Heritage of Dreams").
Shortly after it was published, a magazine in the USA ran a competition for Pleiadics...
And several good poets have used it since... So please do remember - poetry did not begin with the internet... -
Completely Enchanting
BIG Happy smile here for this wonderful sparkling trophy that adorns such a beautiful work.
Congratulations! Excellent job. ~Pam
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I'm so glad this one placed, it was one of my favorites and worthy of a win. Congratulations!~vj
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This was great in my book. Your thoughts lent themselves well to this form. Good for you!! vj
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Looks right to me, at least at first and second reads. I will read at least a half a dozen more times at judging. You did a beautiful job. Thank you so much for entering the contest.
Sam
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So special - sigh
Oh MY GOODNESS! This piece is just beautiful and you have gotten the form with EASE and true beauty. Well done. This was just a delight to read. Best of luck in this contest. ~Pam
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