Mysterious enigma,
my Nateus Rose,
wherefore art thou now?
Slowly saunter Old Town’s streets?
Perched speechless afront cafe,
peering at passer-by,
through unfathomable liquid jet eyes?
Would pursuit suit thee, my dream?
Or, rushing forward, wouldst startle fly up and away?
Once succumbed to the courting,
wouldst disappoint or delight?
Should violate exquisite idol,
or remit so remains
perched above
unreachable
peering down
through
unfathomable
liquid jet
eyes?
Author notes
i think the metaphor in this one is crystal clear...
Written September 10th, 2005
A contest entry
- Free Write for Free Thinkers by Pleading Artichoke.
300 points, ended December 10, 2005, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
thanks, Jai
-
The style was intresting and truly unique, likesd it very much.
-
awesome!
Lovely alliteration. Vivid transporting imagery from an "as the crow flies view!" Loved this simple two word phrase: "my Nateus Rose,"
loved it!!! Good Job! -
thanks b.w.w. the additional spacing is an entirely new device for me that i decided to try for this poem. i wanted to convey pauses in the reading, but didn't like using separate lines for those clauses: i didn't want that much of a separation between them. think of them as lengthened commas or ellipses (...)
-
this is a nice write with a unique way of discribing the content of the write but I have to admit the addional spacing throw me a bit as to its importance well done
love and light
blaze -
Awesome work! How you put this into words is wonderful ... Well hope to read more in the future .. keep it up
Take care
~ Steph ~ -
Nice write
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
3 old applause
