(A beautiful crimson Rose)
(In bloom, shining in the sun)
(Opens, glistening, to a new day)
(And eveything. . . goes astray. . .)
Penetration
Blood flows
But virgin's blood remains
Virgin's blood
Raped by love
Blood flows
But virgin's blood remains
Virgin's blood
Blood flows. . .
Like a scarlet rose
Dripping ceaslessy
While my heart weeps
The wilting of the Rose
The dying will
The empty void
That will never be filled. . .
All that remains are the prickly thorns
Thrust into my pincushion soul
The falling petals drift slowly to the ground
And reality hits me like the cold winter chill
Frosted over, the life drained
And I am no longer the same
Through osmosis I am left
And the snow is washed away by the rain
Broken hearted. . . That's all
Addicted to the drug
Violently ripped away
And now I'm in withdrawl
Broken hearted. . . Not much
Frozen solid is your once lovely touch
Broken hearted. . . I bleed
For in me you planted your seed
Broken hearted and shivering
And everything else passes me by. . .
Nothing else is pentrated
But me myself and I. . .
Pentration
Raped by love
Blood flows
The wilting of the Rose
All that remains are the prickly thorns
Frosted over
The life drained
Broken hearted. . . That's all
Broken hearted. . . Not much
Broken hearted and shivering
Broken is my beatiful crutch
Broken hearted and shivering
And everything else passes me by. . .
Nothing else is pentrated
But me myself and I. . .
Author notes
My heart is broken like a rose frozen by the winter and shatterd by the wind that comes with the rain... So this is what it feels like...
Read my poem "Sinderalla" (I loved her) followed by "Spiral" (But this is what happened) and you will get this one... I hope...
SAY EXACTLY WHAT COMES TO MIND... BE BLUNT!!
9/25/05: Okay, I'm really proud of this one now. It placed fourth in the contest "Anything and Everything" by Vieled. And, if I remember correctly, there were exactly 100 entries, too! I thought that was awesome.
10/15/05: Won GOLD in the contest entitled "ANYTHING YOU WISH {Group Contest Only}" by -Cool Oasis-. Pretty f**kin' sweet, no?
10/16/05: I read: "Titled" and "Loaded Lines and Lipstick Stains" by notxyourxstar05 for the contest "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off".
12/2/05: Won an honorable mention for the contest: "Have You Ever Felt Like This Before ....." by Unique-Rebel85. *Bows*
-Additional comments on this day: I somehow forgot to dedicate this piece to the most amazing person I have ever met: Rose. ALSO, something else I forgot to mention, maybe because it was written after this piece, I don't know, but "Girl in a Glass Box" by me also correlates with this piece, as well as my story.
Written September 14th, 2005
A contest entry
- >>>>Anything Dark<<<< by tearfulgirl420.
300 points, ended April 28, 2006, 67 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The I'm-sick-of-reading-crap contest. by AutumnsFlame.
507 points, ended May 12, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Heartbreak to the extreme by Leech Lover.
450 points, ended June 1, 2007, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Congrats on Gold well deserved!!!!
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wow i really like this it is so emotional. i know how it feels to be broken like this i truely like it keep up the writes
~*maegan*~
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Hmm... I liked this. It was kinda repetitive for me, but it was alright... not all that amazing in my eyes, but it was good. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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A beatiful - beautiful rather than beatiful
And eveything.... - ellipses 3 dots only
just those two points at the very beginning really which caught my attention.
the poem is good, dark imagery and the repetition works well, very song like. good luck.
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Thanks for the corrections, it's how I learn. I actually wrote this a while ago, pretty much before I knew how to use ellipses correctly, and when I didn't re-read my work bearly enough, haha. Thanks for the comment.
~DKR
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well wow!! this write is very dark... im gonna be totally honest.... its way to dark for me... dark shit like this i dont really get... im guessing your hurt.. but wut does virgin blood have to do with anything????
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The title comes from the fact that I, myself, am (or was, whichever) a virgin when I wrote this, and I feel as if, metaphorically, I was bleeding.
Also, I am passively and sorrowfully observing that I am not the one who gets to "take" my "love's" virginity "away" (sorry about all the vague quotation marks haha) from her/be with her forever.
I use the word 'penetration' as a double-edged metaphor, here. It's the weaving of a metaphor, I guess. Honestly, I didn't really think of this as incredibly dark, even though I acknowledged that it is.
~DKR
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James, you are a really really great poet. I always find myself enjoying your work extremely. Keep up the great work, and I am extremely glad to be friends with you, man.
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Now, this was quite a powerful write! It dragged me in from the beginning and kept me gently enticed into continuing to read. This caught my interest unbelievably well---I have been reading contest entries for over two hours now, and it takes a bit to really catch my eye. Nicely done.
~Jessica -
wow, this poem has left me speechless, it is written brilliantly without flaw, you have done an excellent job, thanx for entering and good luck
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wow .. this was so beautiful .. yet so sad .. I'm glad you entered .. I can see why this is your favorite .. it is definately mine so far .. the imagery .. WOW .. thnk you so much for entering .. good luck
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wow, great poem Dead Kennedy Rolls, quite long too, very beautifully written and good luck in the contest
best wishes as always
-Cool Oasis-
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This is very good, it really does strike me. I love it!
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beautiful
This reminds me of the song Sweetness, by the Toadies. Except its like a different point of view. I loved this poem, you did such an excellent job. It was amazing. You are great with words, and you're comparisons were great. The only thing I want to ask you, is why everyone associated the heart with love? -
this was amazing! it's been taking me SO long to judge all these entires and ive been wanting to read yours for a long time. The title really stuck out to me. And I wasn't dissapointed. This poem was amazing. It made me think "Wow." It was just SO good the imagary was good just..... awesome. thank you for entering and good luck.
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This is a very beautiful poem ^^ I hope you feel better about the situation though, I have had a situation like this before, where I've been crushed. >.< It sucks.
But once again, I hope you get better. ^^ *hugs* ~Courtney
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Great write. Very heartfelt and emotional. I like it, though its not your usual. great job...
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Love sucks...
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She is making the right decision, believe me, she is. We both agree on this.
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Well, I know who you are talking about here. I am sorry that she is letting your love for her drown you. That is why I am wondering...that one guy I told you about...why I wonder if he is the one for me. I feel as though he is in the same situation..only I am not taken by another, but by a stupid rule! LOL! Well, I am sorry that such darkness/sadness flows through your veins...maybe her blindness will be unveiled and she will see what she should do! I wish you the best!
Edited on Sep 14, 9:56 p.m. because ''. -
Thanks... In her words, she does know what she's missing. Belive me, though, she's making the right decision... She is a lovely person, and has a lot going for her, and it would complicate things if she decided to change directions all of a sudden. She read this too, and loved it... What more could I ask for?
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Amazing
Aww..
James, this is so beautiful, I loved it. The begining was amazing, and I was impressed throughout the poem. When I got near the end I got so sad though! I hate to see you down, and now you're broken hearted? I'm sorry =( I hope everything works out. Whoever broke your heart is missing out on so much... I wish that person would know just how incredibley lucky of a person she would be if she had you. *sigh* I hope you feel better!!
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I love it.
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