She stood alone, at the edge of a cliff. The wind blew through her hair, causing her to shiver. She had to go on, she couldn't stop now. Not now that she was so close to knowing the truth. But the fear, the fear to jump held her back. To end the journey she had begun all those years ago. It all seemed too final. If she was wrong it meant she would die. If she was right it meant she would finally have the answers she had been seeking. She had to try, she had to know, she had to jump........
Author notes
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Written September 12th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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i really enjoyed this. That feeling of "is this right?" really pushes through and I know that many many people can relate to the emotions portrayed.
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This could go so many ways...I like the thought behind the words and do understand being on the threshold...so to speak of something yet grander if all goes to expectations.
Experiment with the paragraph form... maybe getting away from this would aide in the delivery and the eye appeal, poetry is an art not only in words but visual also. I've also found that to not be so direct in wording allows the reader to derive their own thoughts from the work making for a much more enjoyable read for them. Leaving simple words here and there out can make a more profound statement and yet not change the meaning or even offer other meanings at the same time. The trick is to guide the reader down a path but to forcefully....my thoughts anyway.
Over all the an enjoyable read and thought invoking work
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the imagery in this is brilliant, i can see it really clearly.everyone is on the cliff edge sometimes, and this is a great write!
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And you say I must smile...
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this is a a nicely written write penn on my friend!
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I cant get into story write.com need more info please
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Wow... Sounds like the beginning to an amazing story! You can do so much with this... And yet, I can also see this staying exactly the way it is, a profound metaphor for life and dreams and all that great stuff.
One thing you might want to watch is tense. You started in present tense, then you switched to past. Make up your mind, silly!
I personally would choose past tense for a story. It's just easier that way... 
Present tense in a story is not only difficult, but also sometimes confusing. Poems are a different story. Unless they're epic poems telling a story, I generally prefer present tense in poetry.
Great write, Michelle! I'd love to see what you do with this. You have lots of potential, as does this write. Love it, hun!
s
Kyla -
Long time, no speak...
"She had to try, she had to know, she had to jump..."
And find out if she could fly? At least the spin I'd take on it...and in this, so many it does offer.
You've grown so much, dear young one, and sprouted into quite the formidable word scholar. I know I haven't spoken to you in some time, and I haven't commented even longer, but I've kept my eye on you, and of course, you haven't failed to impress. Your writing seems to better with age (like a fine, smooth wine) - a trait we can all but hope to share - growing stronger, deeper, braver, and so unique to your own special style (I can't seem to pick apart).
Until next time...
Edited on Sep 15, 6:51 p.m. because 'Spelling...errors'. -
I just completely love and adore your work, it has so many layers and meanings. And this piece s no different, I love it. Fantastic writing as always
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This could be taken in many ways. I loved it was so deep and full of meaning, I am glad I got a chance to read this, well done. xxx QueenT ooo
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Very Good
Jumping takes courage
I can relate here
I am also sometimes too cared to jump
Good stuff
Edited on Sep 12, 4:02 p.m. because ''. -
Bit confusing?
For some reason this reminds me www.storywrite.com/Story/1491822
Strange eh?
Interesting thought though, would you jump?
Take care!
~Page
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