It bothers me sometimes…
in the deepest silence of the night
that he’s sleeping
(in our chaotic bed)
with a childlike peacefulness.
Whilst I fret and worry
trying to tie the ravels
ere’ the weaving is ruined.
We started a masterpiece
bright threads interwoven
passion and daring boldly displayed.
Me over him - him over me
in and out the shuttle flew
as we danced to a rapturous tune.
But suddenly
the bright colors are splashed with blood.
pain rages across the field
and threads start popping loose.
I have to fix them.
Can’t he see that?
I’m supposed to be the strong one.
The weaver of time.
He brings me the threads
and I nurture them
as they thrive and grow.
No one ever told me what to do if the treadle broke.
How to mange if the loom refused to yield.
It’s not supposed to happen this way.
Every woman should “know”
how to spin the twine.
I hear them laughing about their successes
children playing around their hems.
They have no conception of what it’s like
Only inane advice
spewed from fertile friends.
As if God would punish me so
or
relaxing ~ could cure the problem.
Fools…
How dare they judge me…
I turn to the loom
thinking to destroy what little we have created.
But wait.
There is a kind of beauty here.
It lingers in the snags and nubs
caresses light and shadow.
So much love is interwoven
sparkling
if you only take a moment to look.
Yes ~ I see the promise here.
I’m sure
I can make something of this.
I pick up the weft
continue our tapestry.
Just a few quick shots
with the enchanting threads of love
and I’ll join him
in our welcoming bed.
Patricia Gibson-Williams
September 9, 2005
Author notes
Sometimes perfection is all in how you look at something. It’s said that all the best weavers always leave a flaw in their work. (Sometimes called a Persian Flaw) Something to mark it as created; by human hands. But even God created us as flawed, so maybe perfection is more about seeing the beauty in those flaws then it is about not having them.
Patti
Written September 12th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Of Perfection and Imperfection by destructiaplecuta.
600 points, ended October 8, 2005, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Speechless
Oh wow . . . everything is just absolutely great! I love everything about this from all of the interwoven thoughts, the movement of the text from side to side, the free flow of thoughts, I'm absolutely enamoured! I'm speechless, I honestly am. Wow. -
Lovely
A lovely 'spin' on perfection and imperfection. I enjoyed the way you wove in details of your life so subtly, they were more like insinuations than actual truths, ideas about birth, fertility, failure, success. A really worthwhile poem, worth reading, worth going back to. I enjoyed it immensely, because despite the agony of lying awake feeling imperfect, it ended on such a strong, powerful note. -
Love this peom....
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beautiful in every way and original. nice work and so true
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Very creative - wonderful metaphor. The lines flow smoothly and the words convey a woven tapestry of life's experiences. Nicely written.
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a good poem. i make the same of it as previous posters that this piece relates to a failed pregnancy or issues of sterility.
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no comments!
too long... sorry! had no time to read...!!! -
really a good poem...you made a powerful metaphor of the spinning and what I read as a failed pregnancy or one who couldn't conceive. i think you succeeded at this poem and kept the emotion and tone throughout.
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This was extraordinarily thought-provoking and interesting and such an original idea. I really enjoyed reading it.
I suppose everybody reads it differently, but I saw it was a woman who had miscarried at least a couple of times and that she felt it was causing chaos with her home and husband, but at the end she realized it really wasn't and that she loves him still the same. I'm probably wrong though.
I really enjoyed reading this. It's inspirational. Well done indeed and best of luck! -
A really good piece, written thoughtfully, has clear direction and shows an aspect of our lifes in an interesting and original manner. Your use of rich and beautiful imagery made this all the better - well done.
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Wonderful!
Very interesting...and very meaningful...well done!!!! -
AWESOME
This poem is amazing! It's very intriguing and fantastic and VERY symbolic. We are studying symbolism in honors english so I could really read into this poem! I love it! -
hhhhmmmmm...so very interesting and intriging AND fantastic!! nice work on this one AngelSeeker!
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The analogy of your love being woven fabric is great. You have good imagery to this too. I really enjoyed reading. Thanks for sharing.
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wow, man thats great, its different havent read a poem like this before and i really like the way it goes, alot of power is spoken her
Fools…
How dare they judge me…
I turn to the loom
thinking to destroy what little we have created.
love that there really well written its great well done
+wellsy+ -
Beautiful poem and excellent reasoning. Love the way you have written this piece out and kept on one thing instead of tossing out a dozen different comparisions. I find one elaborate comparison to be much more readable and lovely. Great write.
LI
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