Seeking Solace (Choka)
my heart is broken
I wander about aimlessly
searching for myself
a few weeks ago
we walked happily together
today these paths are lonely
your untimely death
has made my life incomplete
yet still I wander
Del Warren Livingston © Right Now 2005
Author notes
The most intricate Japanese Poetry form is the Choka, or Long Poem.
The early form consisted of a series of Katuata joined together. This gives a choice of form structures with syllable counts per line as ... 5/7/7, 5/7/7… etc, or … 5/7/5, 5/7/5, etc, or as a third choice the pattern may alternate throughout the poem’s length, 5/7/5, 5/7/7, 5/7/5 etc, or 5/7/7, 5/7/5, 5/7/7 etc. Unlike Haiku which deals with things in nature, the Choka usually deals with humanistic topics, especially involving relationships. My poem here uses the alternating pattern.
Written September 11th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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Just stopping in to see your wonderful words again, Del. I hope you know how much we miss you. I have a feeling that you and the other poets of allpoetry, who have passed on, are keeping an eye on us
It's a good feeling
Love ya and miss ya, Del, lots and lots
Dee
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Miss you my friend
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I feel like you wrote your own epitaph.
I can see this engraved on your headstone.
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may the creator give u grace
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wow...i'm looking through ur profile after reading busy...u r very well educated!!!..really nice..learning more vocab..
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How beautiful and sad all at the same time...My grandmother too knew when she was about to leave..Best wishes to You on the other side of life Del..And my condolences to his family.
Sel Michelle Renee' Winchell -
I only met Del through a Cinquain contest run by Magic Lady and Del helped to judge it...he came across as a very sincere person and I liked and admired him very much...I am deeply saddened to here the news of his death and send my sympathy's to his family and friends...he will be sorely missed...bye Del...x
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To all those who knew Del, my heart goes out to you during this sad time. It's funny, how some 'know' when their time has come..
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that was very good u have good skillz
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Um, maybe you didn't notice when you logged on.. Del has passed away.. Like two days after he wrote this.. Just thought you might want to know... Athena
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My deepest condolances. I didn't know Del, but he seemed to be a remarkable poet. Loved the poem though, allthough it was so sad it made me cry. Thank you for the crash-course on choka, I will take a look at it. I applaud you!
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"Pretty good, a little bit on teh' side of; you need a little better grammar and structure. Other then that good job, hope it all goes well for you in the long run. Do look at my poetry if you can, kk? See yo' around!" - Lance Ryan Williams; You don't feel loved and wanted, you are loved and needed!
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Hi dear Del... How I just wish you could see all the wonderful comments people put here... the beauty of your wisdom will remain on here... allthough your presence is missed...
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I am sorry I never got to meet such a talented and loved poet. May your poetry flow infinite and your spirit be carried by the current.
miranda -
even though i did not know him, i still feel the pain. i know what it feels like to lose a loved one. this is a wonderful poem. and i know that he sees all of the people that are taking the time to remember his life.
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Sweet piece -Al
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Simple, as in great!
See you round the inkwell, Del!
Regards...................................John-Las Vegas -
very good poem, as though a premonition. but it's what poets think of and write of...
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Beautiful-
such a beautiful comment about his family in his own words also- in a reply here.
m -
very well written
This is such a beautiful poem. I didn't know you, but I can see why everyone loved you so much. You express your emotion so well. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
etherealforu
Edited on Sep 28, 3:46 p.m. because 'didn't realize Del wrote it, thought it was a tribute poem'. -
I am wanting so much for you to be here, to read these comments...to be able to wait for you to im a tender word. That is just my selfishness, for you are in paradise, with sweet sweet Jesus. You are so missed here.
Sam
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It amazes me how poets have such a keen sense of everything there is to feel, to know. This is as if you knew Del and it floods my heart. I will miss you my friend.
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beautiful
Beautiful and I never knew there were so many ways different styles to writing short poems ... or well long poem for the Japanese. This was a wonderful and heart felt write ... I really liked it ... it is even more sad considering the situation ... but then again I have heard that we know on a "Soul Level" when it is going to be our time to transition on. Maybe in a a part of Del knew, he doesn't have to miss the one that he wrote this for anymore ... rather happy ending if you think of it that way. -
This is a very beautiful piece of literature, it's really nice.
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It is a bit scary to read this by Del at this time. It sends shivers up my spine, yet I could sense the beauty in it. It is sad how he will never see my written words here. The poem was, beautiful.
~^~Tiya~^~ -
Clicking I thought this was another entry in the memorial for Del. It is appropriate to feature this piece. It's as if he wrote about himself.
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beautiful..
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nice
This one is very nice. Deep emotions, I liked it. -
Awww, this is very nice. I can relate to it, and it's very well written. Short and to the point. Nice and simple. It's very beautiful. I hope to see more work from you. Keep it up dear. *hands you a black rose*
:::Ariel::: -
These words are very difficult to read right now. For you, who did this, you are a gem. Thanks for caring about him.
Cheryl
cheers
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this is indeed one of his as he tried to teach me, it was difficult just coming to AP,great work of his to share ,I certainly appreciate it Linda
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crystaldust 27-09-05 21:35
To post one of Del's poems and the comments on it is a marvellous way of saying farewell to him. Thank you. -
wow, this was a powerful piece. Del was/is a good writer. lozi xxxX
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Deep painful Love expressed so well, love is always alive in the heart, love forever lives, love is so memorable. When I read this I had deep feelings, but I want to encourage your heart and fill it with love and warm thoughts.
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Oh man, your words make me miss you even more. Such lovely poetry and thank you for the description of a Choka. I never would have known what it was. Excellent job. God bless.
~CT -
and another lesson taught and remembered by us. Del touched us all,
Reenie
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great job
wow this was amazing and heartfelt.. wonderfull write and thanks for the discription at the end i had no idea what a choka was.. thank you for sharing your words with me. -
beautiful words and sentiment, God Bless
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Excellent
This is a very lovely write with good issues that we all can identify with, in our daily lifes. It does happen that we lose ourself -being in a state of confusion, as to what to do as a result of love or other situations which might be eating our heart out. And especially when we lose a loved one it can be very hard to accept their departure.
I pray that his soul rest in peace, and that God will grant his family peace love, mercy and hope. -
days are dark and bright
the sky is for lonely eyes
and night flowers in the end
with nothing left to see
those left now see a new past
one that brightens eyes
petals and manna
left in the wake of our friend
burn more brightly now -
And the wonder is; it was "conjured up", according to his very own words. Amazing!
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exactly.
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It almost sounds as if it were written about himself...
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Thanks Cheryl,
Fortunately, for me this was conjured up and is not a personal tragedy for me. I am very fortunate, indeed to have a comfortable home with a great wife and a beautiful son to fill my days. I pray that your own situation will improve soon. I do know how you long for it. Many blessings and thanks again, my friend.
Del s
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This is written so nicely, Del. I'm sorry to hear that you are standing there beside yourself, not knowing where to go. I feel much the same these days. Please take care of yourself.
Cheryl Cheers!
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WoW! That may be a brand new record for the response to one of my posts. I am surprised the ink was dry on this one...
Thanks for the kind remarks. I am delighted that this poem and the explanation did what I hoped for in posting it...that was to introduce my readers to the form. Thanks for the quick and affirming comments and have a great day.
Kind regards,
Del -
Wonderful form I like how you added a explanation foot note on this form a beautiful poem full of expression Very nice to read this one this morning. Thank you for posting I have learned something new in the poetry world today!
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