SUICIDAL DEPRESSION
She listens to her music
And she just can't see
Her parents are so worried
She's not who she used to be.
She comes home from school
Stoned out of her mind
Her parents ground her for it
They say that she's too blind.
She runs up the stairs
She goes into her room
She starts to play her music
As she plans out her doom.
She thinks about her life
As she lays down on her bed
She has not led a good one
And she wishes she was dead.
She stares straight ahead
You know that she's spaced out
She feels she don't exist
But that's not what it's about.
She caught her best friend with her boyfriend
Which really broke her heart
Suicide now beckons her
It's time for her to part.
All night long she wonders why
And all night long she cries
She knows she won't forgive them
Until the day she dies.
It's all about depression
She locks her bedroom door
With a knife she slits her wrists
And now she is no more.
Author notes
#6
Written September 9th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- †Glittering Skeletons† xLotsxOfxOptionsx by Dead Star--x.
300 points, ended November 7, 2006, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Little This... A Little That by pimp daddy satin.
341 points, ended December 30, 2006, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your words do bleed by AshliiAsphyxiation.
600 points, ended March 24, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WINNER TAKE ALL by xXLoveXx.
380 points, ended August 22, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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okay added it
thanks for the wonderful comment this was one of the first poems I ever wrote and I think it is the best of the first 10 I wrote
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okay wow... the picture and thje title wow you have some talent! Do me a favor write in your author comment box -Abused Flower- That way it will help me decide in the ending which ones I loved the most! 
I dont know what much to say to critique your poem, because I dont think it needed anymore tweaking.. 
Good luck!
Abused
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Just thought i'd come to tell you i love your writings =]
They're really good.Keep them coming. -
hey good poem... it suits my contest... keep up the good work thanks for entering my contest and good luck
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the pick is aswomse
good write too
LIPS OF DECEIT-7 -
I would like a TITLE please
I feel the same way I think suicide is an easy way out and I am not into darkness but for some reason it is easier for me to write about it...perhaps it is because I watch so many lifetime movies and horror films, but I also like to write about animals and nature...things like so I'll try that
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I don't mind the darker write...however I do not care for suicide or cutting pieces at all. It is just my opinion that that is the cowards way out. Someone always has it worse than ourselves...if you want to enter that would be fine...your talent shows. Just please don't make the entry one of suicide or cutting. Sad is fine...depressing is fine...Let me know if you choose a word bank or title...Trina
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Wow this is really good a friend of mine recommended that i read some of your poetry and now i know why it is so amazing and so sad well done!
Claire xx
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p.s I love the art
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Very moving poem! Wow thankyou for entering and good luck in the contest
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this is absolutely wonderful, my love. perfect description of a situation like that. amy
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this is really good, i love it. it's beautifully rhymed and the flow is spectacular. thank you so much for entering this, and best of luck!
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AMAZING!!! This poem was incredible! Wow...This was just so beautifully written and the phrases that you used in this, were awesome! Great job, and thanks for entering!
Isabel
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Wow just Wow I have no clue what else to say so far you are the only person to follow the rules all the way so good job for that and this poem is just welllll wow I love it and good luck thanku for entering my contest
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emotional
well this is the first poem i've read so far, this is a very good poem. good write!! ~pink pixi~ -
This was deep! and intense! i liked it a lot! Congrats on your award!! you deserved it for this wonderful write!
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Amazing
This is amazing. I can relate. I've been there and the way you depict the feelings to be so real, you can almost feel them yourself. Amazing write. -
You take us into the reason behind this suicide, so tragic, such a waste of a life. Congratulations on winning bronze in this contest.
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This is such a fantastic piece of writing... It's such a wonderfully sad poem... You definitely deserved a placing in the contest... So congratulations...
Take care...
~Ash~ -
beautiful suicide
This is beautiful...i'm sure thats wierd to say about a suicide poem but hey im wierd and i say beautiful. Wonderful...keep up the good work. For some reason suicide and depressed poems always seem to be best. good luck in the contest i entered to. ~ Darknessbabe -
Wow.. You should have seen my face.. This is so amazingly written yet so beautifully sad. This is a fabulous piece and I am glad you entered. Goodluck!
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this is sad but well written very touching peice..but as pinky said we dont see past now we need to look at the future..suicid isnt changibal and theres no second chances to fix it..
thanks for entering
~Turtle -
This is sad ... but it has something else to it that takes out the sadness and makes youunderstand...or maybe I'm just young lol... or you are too idk lol
But yeah...we dont see apst the now to the future...
this was a tuoght inspiring poem
thank you for entering
-PInky -
This is sad.
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I am a mother of 5 kids, I have been thru alomst EVERYTHING that a teenager could throw at a parent. drugs, molestation, thoughts of suicide. I think all parents should "WATCH THEIR KIDS, LISTEN TO THEIR KIDS, AND LOVE THEM TO DEATH!"
i liked this poem alot,I wish you luck in your poem writing, and peace be with you! "WRITE ON!" smile
She listens to her music
And she just can't see
Her parents are so worried
She's not who she used to be.
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Wow...I am very inpressed with this.I can relate to this because I was in a very serious depression myself and I think that you did agreat job at expressing the emotions within this poem!
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this poem touches me on many levels
i now have chills -
Stupendous
This is a wonderful poem. It has so much imagery in it i could almost see the girl. Albolutely wonderful. -
Kind of a cliche type message. "Oooh, I caught my best friend and my boyfriend together and now I'm going to die" kind of thing, but none-the-less, it happens. (Only my opinion, disregard if you like.)
Great poem. I likes the way that the rhyming was awesome!
Good luck in the contest! -
Wow, this reminds me so much of myself. Truthfully, I smoke pot to numb things around me, I lock myself in my room and I turn on my sterio. I think about dying a lot, and to some peoples relief, I haven't tried anything yet, and I'm quite sure I wouldn't, but I think about it all the time. This is just so... descriptive of my life. Very good write, keep up the good work!
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Let me start off by saying wow, this was an impressive peice. I could feel the pain in the poem, especially towards the end, The rhyming was really good, the flow was great, I know what its like to be that down you dont feel like there is any other way out besides ending it all. But know that I got through it all I know that is never the case, its not an answer just another means to an end, instead of fighting, instead of being strong. This was great, thanks for the comment on my poem by the way it meant alot to me, I am glad that people liked it, it was something new to me, I havent really tried dark writing before, or anything like that, I usually rhyme, so I thought I would try and not this time. xxx Queent ooo
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Amazing!
Wow, this is amazing! Thas my life story right there, lol. Cept for getting stoned and finding my best friend wit my boyfriend.. other then that it's my life basically. Anywhos, this was beautifully written, I loved the rhyming. Sooper dooper job!! Keep up the mazing work.
</3Demon. -
this kind of reminds me of my sister. She's all about the depression right now, we both used to be. but now things are better, and she just doesn't see it. God... so weird. excellent job with this, I liked the rhyme scheme in most places. cool.s
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Nice
Suicide is another thing that gets me mad about people lol. Yep its too much of a problem in teenage years. I guess most teenagers are much to blind to see that the problems right now are what make you in the end. And for suffering right now you become stronger in the end. So yeah good write. And yeah good job I like your style. -
this is so sad and feel the pain through out good write and ,has the excellent word choice to keep the flow in the whole poem good job indeed..Linda
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This flowed really well, and it was wonderfully written...I can relate and now as I think about it, the things some people contemplate/commit suicide over a really very trivial...but i think its something just about everyone can relate too...great job, keep up the good work, and good luck in the contest!
xoxo Niccy xoxo -
wow...this is an amazingly written poem!!! i can relate so well to this!!awesome job! <33 keep up the great writing!
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whew
~see? told ya i would..lol.. this one actually gave me chills. i think that is soo sad. depression is a sad thing...i hate it when i lose people like that, i feel so helpless..ya know?..
~Ashes~ -
This is an amazing poem. You told me my own story, only I have gradually stopped cutting myself, with the help of my new boyfriend. YAY!!! Great write.
Shadow xXx -
nicely done. very good. you seemed to have a dancing going on with how your words would fit so well into the next stanza each time. very nicely done. keep up the good work and good luck
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A Fantastic poem this is really nice bob here
keep the ink flaowing -
A classic teenangst suicide poem, well thought-out and wrote with a talent that seperates it from most of the others. I think you've done a good job with this, even if the subject is a bit cliché. But you make it seem very original, especially with the last stanza Thank you for posting it so that we could read and enjoy it, and keep the ink flowing!
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