Sing me a tune
While the wolf next door
Croons to the jazz beats
Of the cricket band
That the Moon commands
In the green fields
Of the midnight garden
I'd love to hear from you
Pied piper of my heart
The thief who lures me to his cottage
The food is laid and the bed is made
And I am here to stay
These eyes, these eyes
They are dancing in the light
Of the fire bright and secret
No man knows how they glow
The birds all laugh and the crow
Swings by for a king's feast
Laid out in the banquet
Of the twilight faeries
I've gone into the woods a frightened girl
But my fear seems like the voice of yesteryear
And the forest has grown into my heart
To replace the fragile child of rose lips
She blooms now with her thorns bared
And the forest embraces her with naked love
Calling with gnarled oak, wizened eldritch
Fingers stretching, tap-tap-tapping
On the dark windowpane
Of my soul
My Prince, your smile
T'will take me yet a while
To see through the glamour
Of the golden locks and apple kisses
I thank you not to share with me
Your putrid breath, whispering
Lascivious deeds, the lies you need
So much to live in comfort
I am fine now because, really,
I can wake up on my own.
Author notes
If Snow White was a poet, and she had a secret she wanted to write about, this just may be it.
Written September 9th, 2005
A contest entry
- Love, Dark and sad poetry...Let me have your best by PointShoesAndPoetry.
300 points, ended June 12, 2006, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Thanks very much, enchantedfairy. It's inspired by Neil Gaiman, one of my most fave writers.
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This is a very well written piece. It flows nicely and it has great form. Way cool. I like it a lot. Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck. =]
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Thank you for your nice, encouraging comment. I'd like to be writing dark fairytales...but that's a project in the far future. I enjoyed reading Neil Gaiman's Snow Glass Apples, which inspired this. There's also that other one...(for shame I can't remember it!) about Red Riding Hood, who instead of getting eaten by a typical wolf, falls in love with a werewolf.
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Thank you. This is partly inspired by Neil Gaiman's Snow Glass Apples (short story) and Stardust (fantasy novel).
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This really is a very beautiful work. There is so much entwined in each verse, so much ornate language and just enough hints from each fairy tale you have borrowed from to give it a strangely familiar feel, but make no mistake, this is totally original. Like nothing else out there.
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This is such a beautiful poem and yes, this could be something she would write about(i love snow white
)good luck in the contest
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment very much.
Hey, since I'm writing to you anyways, do you mind doing me the favor of checking my latest work? I need some advice on the song terms... Specifically, what do you call that last stanza, sort of like "epilogue" to a song? Thanks very much.
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Delightful.
Your use of the language and style is incredible. Always great reading abernath, and I love this one. Great job.
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Thank you for stopping by to read and comment wonderfully. I am glad you liked this. I must admit though that I feel it's incomplete, partly...just an odd little feeling.
Thanks again.
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Thank you. And yes, as you've noticed, I changed the colors. You're the third one to complain. *sigh* They're still horrible, but at least more readable now.
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very nice poem
enjoyed reading it
(no offense) just choose brighter colours for a black background. i had to do select all to read it
Keep On Writing -
You're the second one to say the font color was horrible, so I changed it. You've been helpful already, in a small fashion. I'd just like to say too that picking colors for me is a hellish job...but AP's spoiled me rotten and I wanted to keep this background.
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Since it's you I should like to read this and leave a (hopefully) helpful comment. HOWEVER: Edna's tired old eyeballs cannot read dark red on a black background. I seriously suggest you should make it more legible!
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Thank you. I appreciate your wonderful comment, very much. I think I'll leave the colors this time though...if someone else complains, I'll consider changing the font color then. (I think AP has spoiled me rotten with the formatting...and sometimes I miss italics and bold...but I do believe that words are words, and even stripped of frivolities, they are powerful when used rightly.)
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This has much more to it than meets the eye I feel as though i have walked through a book of fairy tales,and nursery rhymes With the "Pied Piper*
Sing a Song of Sixpence Red Riding Hood coming to mind , though it may be i read more into it than is there.
I do so like it though,certainly a fresh take on the old story.I can understand the font and background adding to the setting of the poem Though i found it hard to read without high lighting, but that is a minor problem for me. Great job well done -
Thanks. Thanks very much for the warm praise.
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this was a delight to read how do our imaginations come up with these writes ?
your language is excellent...it holds the reader till the end. i see much talent here
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Thanks for stopping by to read and comment wonderfully. I appreciate that very much. Yes, I think the last two lines are the apotheosis of the whole, no? In a way, I was aiming for a "sonnet-ish" ending.
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Thank you very much. I'm glad you loved this poem. If you haven't heard of Neil Gaiman's "Snow, Glass, and Apples", I suggest you google it up asap. For me, it's the ultimate best "alternate interpretation" of the Snow White fairytale.
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The last two lines were strongest, could have been a poem on their own. Good write
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Thanks for stopping by to read, and for giving a wonderful comment and your precious applause. I appreciate that very much.
Have you heard of Neil Gaiman's "Snow, Glass and Apples"? Because, in my humble opinion, that is the best version of Snow White ever.
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EXCELLENT!!! The last two lines are marvellous. I love this as it is such a fresh open approach to the fairy tale. You are very creative and this deserves applause I hope I still have. Marvellous...
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