In the morn
I am all so dull.
Everyone I see,
I see in them dead skull.
In the greens
I see the darkness,
Even in the most I get,
I feel it’s less.
With every smile
I earn
My heart gives me
A huge burn.
My earnest thought
Is now vague to me.
In the calm pure water,
My failure’s reflection I see.
My thoughts are all dead,
My essence is all lost.
Noth is right in my head.
My heart’s no more soft.
The surest truth I know,
Is the bitterest thing.
The purest mortal, me,
Is leaving life’s emotional cling.
The most wonderful scenario,
Makes me jealous,
And every crazy bird,
Reminds me of my foolish zealous.
In the water
I fear to drown.
In the light,
Am afraid to get scorched.
In the night,
Am afraid of shade.
In faith,
I fear the fiend
In every smile,
I see secrecy,
In every cry,
I panic to lose my tears.
Every colour
Makes me see black.
In every situation
In every condition
In every state,
I feel broken, lost, wrecked and finished.
I feel being hewed in every hue.
I repent for my past,
The one I adore are now very few,
I cry on my present,
And about future, I have no clue…
…………
…………
…………
…This is how you feel
When you come to know,
That the one you loved,
Never loved you.
*-Vichitra Joshi (J.VIC)*
Author notes
Special Notice for Readers :
* Tell Me You Love me, or else i will dedicate this poem to you 
*
hope you enjoy this write
take cares
*Miss me*
- vic
Written September 3rd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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Did I forget to read this poem before..or didnt I tell you how craxy I am about you..tee hee! 
Vic.even if all the women in this world denies you I would neva deny you..and I mean it 
take care..
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Mind Blowing!
Vichi.. this is a mind blowing poem!
Never though that you would be in this situation at any point of time, but it happens! But today it seems you have come out of all of it(If incase it is true and this happened to you!)
Gr8, an awesome job! Maast imagery and I can feel the pain in you words!
Vichi the gr8, Vichi thr gr8!
Jai Vichi Baba.. heheh
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Good morn/noon/eve nice person.
I USED to be an active memeber on AP, I WAS AP addicted and yes CB addicted too, but with college work always on my head I decided to utilize my time more on my assingments. I still come here, sometimes, read and go away, and chat too in the CB
lol.
I usually tend not to write "dark" write ups. But there are times, different shades of life, where/when I end up doing something which I usually wont do. This poem is a resultant of such an unusual situation.
Thank you very much, I must say, for pointing out my errors. Not that I will change it in this poem, but next time when I'll write anything, all the factors that you marked, I'll make sure I stay grammatically correct.
Ah, Forced Rhymes... !! Will tickle it off too, or atleast try to.
Thank you very much again. Your comment was kind and meaningful so will be your poems, I guess. Will check them as soon as time permits me to.
Take cares and have a nice time.
- Vic to NoIQ -
As mentioned in some other comments I have posted, for some amusement I decided to use the "Random" function today to explore the site's poetry (rather than just limiting myself to Favorites, as I often do). Of the poem's I have run across, this definitely had the most views and applauds. You're also in the minority by apparently being active on the site (try the Random function some time, and you'll see what I mean. Four out of every 5 inputs seem to result in poetry from poets that have been gone at least six months).
In any event, I understand the dark message that was intended here. I don't want to be too critical, but I do see a lot of example of what I would consider to be forced rhyme, however. For instance:
"The most wonderful scenario,
Makes me jealous,
And every crazy bird,
Reminds me of my foolish zealous."
"Zealous" is an adjective, not a noun (i.e., "zealous advocate"). I think what you meant there was "zealous foolishness," but reversed the order to rhyme. It's not that big a deal -- I see a lot of that style on the site. However, I think the poetry improves when the device is avoided. Certainly, modern publishers and editors will point it out. Also, there are some other synactic issues, such as the use of the singular "one" despite the plural verb "are" and adverb "few" in "The one I adore are now very few." Again, I just point these out to identify areas I think you might want to think about in your poetry -- if this piece even reflects what it is like at present.
On the whole, though, I like the complex self-exploration of darkness. It's probably no accident so many poets read this at the time. I am sure it resonated with many of them on the site.
-
****
Thank God after all you'r not tht hard to comprehend in some cases and this poem was one of them.....i enjoy the moment of joy when my mind catches you on the same wave..... From the start i grasped the meaning of this poem unlike evolution where i really had to evolve my mind and that too at an unnaturally fast pace....lol...Anyway the poem is emotive enough to make me sad and force all those ppl tht u loved but who never reciprocated your feelings , to fall in love with you.......atleast it made ME love you hehehe.... -
you rock! even with a serious poem you found oppertunity to make lite of things.
-
This was lovely and sad. But I liked it very much.
My favorite lines:
"In the morn
I am all so dull."
Good work. -
Omg I love this poem... such a great write and very deep... also true...it happens a lot in this world and heartbreak is hard to deal with.. keep writing.. great job... MUAH
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This is terrable heartbreaking
Looks like you loved someone, loved them alot. Sometimes people love back and dont know how to show it. Sometimes they just dont know what love is.And sometimes they are too affraid and run away.
I hope you never give up on love, because it is wonderful while it lasts!
♥
Angel ♥
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oh wow...this was really good. you had me at the end for a second. i thought after all the periods it would be over but i loved that last stanza. very beautiful and so true. anyways wonderful job and i wish you all the luck in my contest! thanks for entering!
~*Cammy*~ -
loved it
so emotional i really liked it
good luck
god bless -
I am speechless!!!!
-
This is insainly sad, Im not sure how to think abut this, i hope you dont or didnt really feel this way, and i hope it wasnt because someone loved you and gave up because she was scared and pushed away or whatever , I dont know,, painful, sad, dark, and you are loved
always
~ vini ~ -
Excellent!
Hi, sweety... this is sad
I feel badly for you. You poured out your most inner and deepest feelings in this one. I hope your not getting old like me 
your not supposed to see that in people in the streets yet, you are too young! Thank you for sharing this deep poem.
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hello Good friend...
first of all thank you very much for your kind and wonderful plus honest comment
And yes... Noth means Nothing.. erm... does it sound off? i mean... its not internet language but still if it sounds like that then tell me
and about the line that you said... thanks for the suggestion... ... i will ponder on it...
thank you very much again ... hope you have a nice time
hugs and kisses
- vic to Temptress od Night -
Great job, had a question about one part:
My thoughts are all dead,
My essence is all lost.
Noth is right in my head.
My heart’s no more soft.
Noth is to be "Nothing" ? and
My heart's no more soft. Could be worded better, such as:
"My heart no longer soft" or such maybe?
Love the ending, wasn't quite expected yet fit VERY nicely. Great job.
-
Touching
Commendable .Its thought provoking and very deeply felt ,and written!! -
Very well done mah friend! This seems to be written from personal experience. It is hard when you love someone with all you've got and the love is never returned. But it's times like this that make us realize who we really are and how strong we are! We will continue down the road called life and we will survive! *smile* *waves hand*
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PERFECT 10!!!
hi vic... missya!
Wow, I haven't read something from you in quite a long time. Yeah, you're right, college stuffs make all of us busy. [Damn,whoever invented college]
I like this one...After the Acrostic, She Died, and the other one (sorry I forgot!), I've never seen you poised for such a wonderful masterpiece, like this one.
I love it vic.
and I love you too
Take care always.
-
very sad ,love is unpredictable has so many turns twists and heartbreaks so hang in there ..good write
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Very well done...very sad..very true and very beautiful...it is hard when you find out that you love someone soo much yet they don't love you, I've been on both sides of the spectrum....very well written you express it soo well!!!!!
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Oh my friend. Is this true? Is this how you are feeling? This is so very sad, but such an honest and heart felt write. I feel it must be true because you would not be able to empathise so well. Truly my friend you are so very talented. I am sorry I have not read much of your work for a while. I loved this very much though am sad for you if this is how you are feeling.
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Vichitra this does not seem like you wrote it baby....so sad......
Your Queen
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man i really liked this. im all for sad stuff though. i love to cry. and i can relate to it to so its even better.
~kayle -
this doesn't sound the usual you, it very sad... ... ...and on top of this you are sooooo busy...
Oh well, hope you are feeling happier again, hope you look like this- all day long!
lv, Cap. -
Masterpiece
hi vichitra,
its a masterpiece. tu to yaar sab ka guru hai.
well, i did feel the pain in ur poem...it is well-written...it is such poetry that u write that makes u a very great poet...everyone feels emotions, but it depends on the poet to express them...
this poem is wonderful, man...i am proud to have such a great poet as my friend...
some excellent exhibition of poetry regarding denied love...
anything happened that u wrote such a poem, or it was just an idea..whatever it was, poem was wonderful..ya, u r very capable to write a long poem...
ur poem is a treasure of word-gems...
i loved the fourth and sixth stanzas...they were very poetic and emotional...the last three stanzas are superb...
thanks for sharing, buddy.
even now, i'll be a bit busy, and will miss both AP and u.
thanks for sharing this lovely piece and hey, i am capable to write long comments also.
great write.
keep writing.
your talent is a gift from god for u, and what u do with it is ur gift back to God.
So, enjoy and write such beautiful poems.
keep in touch, buddy.
hugs and kisses.
Ur pal,
Parth.
Edited on Sep 14, 1:48 p.m. because ''. -
pognant
Oh this is so very sad, and all of us must know the feeling of unrequited love. Unfortunately, it's all part of life, not that this is known at the time of hurting.
You portrayed all these muddled feelings and the feeling of despair in this poem. You did it well.
Thank you for sharing and bringing back memories of callow youth.
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A sad but beautiful poem Vic. Sad can be beautiful because it is a human emotion and everyone feels it sometime in life. s and best wishes... ~genielassie~
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Hey Vic buddy .. sorry you feel this way.. hope you feel better soon, tc... hope to hear from you
s es
-Tiger -
im soo sorry your leaving but bravo
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bravo
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who did this?! i shall sock em' in the face 
lol jk great write! 
and ha you staying away from AP?! good luck with that 
-=Kiki=- -
Aw Vic! well, absence makes the heart grow fonder! I'm gunna miss you a bunch! This poem was really uber sad... Expecsially the last stanza... (excuse my crappy spelling) *hugs vic* We're all gunna miss ya pal!
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talented
I like this poem but found it really hard to read it, I could hardly see it, but denfinly very good, and well you know I love you, I thought this poem was beautfull,sad, and talented so keep up the good work as usall, hopefully hear from you soon.
your friend Mary -
wow
aww I miss you very much already dear I like your poem very much, I Love You, even though I told ya that this morning I do, I mean it, that last stanza hit me hard dear since you know what's been going on with me:
This is how you feel
When you come to know,
That the one you loved,
Never loved you.
It's true, everything is morbid and hopeless, very descriptive,somber. allusions were brillian, but so is your writing, just like you
and a come back soon, dont forget me Ruth
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Hmmm...nice write....I LOVE YOU (bigger writing = less headache.....hehe) Stay away from AP?.....pffffft!! I'd like to see you try This mumma needs you (I mean that too) hugs and kisses & I stole your chocos again......ooops! (need to learn to shush) Mmmmm.....yummy Thanks for sharing. Mumma
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Excellent work, filled with emotion!!!
Vic, What a sad but beautiful write you just showed me here.
I love it and oh yeah!!! I have to say "I love you" too or you will dedicate this to me. Call me crazy if ya want but I'm really not. Just ask Nav and she'll tell ya. With works like this I hope you don't stay away from AP too long. The studies will still be there when ya take a break and come here. Very nice work young man, I really really really liked this very much. Joyce
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awesome poem
so very nice writes here dear one enjoy and let your spirits soar! -
Nice poem...very creative and self explaintory ,
loved it..
love melisa -
hey vic well like always ur poems r brill n dis one is sad too but so lovely!
hey will miss ya
n ye like deyve said allready dnt study too much
u may turn wierd da next time u come on AP
ah well.....who hurt u?
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aww... I like it, very sad, kinda angry, I think. just kidding, i'm not thinking!
Great write, vic!
I agree with *p*.. really.. don't study too much... it's dangerous! it's mean... then I'll miss ya, which I already do! aww it'll be okay.. you gotta do, what ya gotta do!
Jeg elsker dig.
-DeathsBabyGirl -
ola Vic... this is soo sad... I cant say I exactly sympathise but neverhteless it is well written... and is very well visualised... great job!
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Nice work Vic..lol..I never thought of that sort of an ending coming.
..Well I know its horrible when you know that a person whom you think valuable doesn't reciprocate it to you..lol..Great work and do keep writing..ANd don't study too much your brains might rot..
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AWWWW Vic, you can't stay away from AP who has broken your heart? A beautiful sad write my little chickadee, if you leave I will miss you
Love Jenni
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What a great poem, very well expressed, well written, AP ia an addiction, especially when every girl is after a guy. The guy is living in India and sleeps and wakes up American time, every relationship demands comitment, sincerity and respect. good luck to you with your future, the last stanza is the best out of all. But must keep on writing. You're very able.
lols -
This is life..An addiction
I cud feel the silent night breeze running through my head..
The feelings are so nicely expressed, I give you My Writer! The serene expanse of skies and seas, to be with..forever.
This is life...An addiction.
and I can very much relate your username with this poem..its beautiful.
I am already singing the words loud ut..it will make a fantabulous song.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Love Mary Jane aka Mayank -
hmmmmm nice write! Very sad... Well love isnt all that hun! .... believe me... but there is always frienship.... anyway... good luck in life excellent write
Luv Nikki -
LOVE A HORRID WORD FOR ME UNLESS ITS ABOUT THE DARKNESS I HOLD
GOOD WRITE
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