What it's like looking in your eyes,
You want to know my thoughts.
The beauty I see when I'm with you,
Is like the winter frost.
Melts with the touch from my finger tips,
And falls from the heaven above.
Like a glowing shard of crystalline,
Is how bright is you love.
We talk and act as if we've known,
Each other for eternity.
Though truth be told and laugh you will,
It's only been three weeks.
My darling dear I speak this now,
Or forever hold my peace.
The anguish I was in without you,
Now with you it has ceased.
You say I brought you from the depths,
Of a dark and crimson flow.
But now it's time for me to speak,
About what you should now know.
I look at you I see the light,
A bright and pearlescent glow.
Like I said in prior words,
As beautiful as the snow.
Some will laugh and some will swoon,
And other might just gag.
But when if with you darling dear,
All others are just hags.
You say your ugly,
I say your not.
You say your fat,
I say your hott.
You think sometimes you don't deserve,
What I have given you.
But let me tell you one last thing,
There more to tell that's new.
You deserve whatever you wish,
My life is in your hands.
You pulled me out of a dreadful spiral,
Into a darker land.
Though not by wish and not by fate,
But by that simple kiss.
All else I knew the pain and hurt,
Was lost in all this blissfulness.
Once again I say to you,
Like the snow falling from the sky.
Every time I see your face,
It makes me want to cry.
Not tears of sadness but of joy,
I swear dear it is true.
For the most beautiful woman on this earth,
Is nothing compared to you.
As I said you make me whole,
Who brought me too the light.
And with these last remaining words,
I might just say goodnight.
But alas I leave no not yet ill go,
For much more there is to tell.
When im with you I'm in heaven,
When not i swear its hell.
This last few lines I speak to thee,
And I swear the whole list is true.
That since the moment I laid eyes,
I fell in love with you.
Author notes
Another poem given to the love of my life xxradianttragedyxx. the most beautiful woman in the world in my ey7es hope you readers enjoyed it and please leave a comment and how you think it can inprove.
Written September 8th, 2005
What did you think
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1 - 9 of 9
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thank you for your kind words of criticism i appreciate it all, ill try to go back and fix that when i have more time though the only time im able to get on the computer is when im on break at work thanks again
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See, the thing with people criticizing other peoples poetry is how well you can make it relate other people, and this has done that very well. I think I can confidently say that almost everyone has felt this way at some point, and with this poem you have hit it on the nose. The one thing I do have to say though is, go back through this and read it outloud to yourself and you'll notice a few things that dont seem as if they should be the way they are, such as
"Some will laugh and some will swoon,
And other might just gag."
Just the small things like that can make something that should be great into something good, and good is the enemy of great.
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q
things are going good between us today is our one month anaversery so i took her to eat and i bought her that book eldest that shes been wanting so bad steph says hi and that you should write her ok dude check you ;later bro oh and by the by u have some veryu god stuff on your name ok so keep it up and im sure youll make it big someday if this is what you want to do -
hey just want to say hey and ask how things are going so write later bye
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Hey babe, if I thought he was an obsessive prat like stalker-boy, the guy would be a goner by now. Just thought you outta know. Love ya though.
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you seem to care a lot for her thats good she deserves it but i got to do the big brother thing and ask you not to hurt her shes been thru to much but shes happy so best of lluck and keep writing your pretty good
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This is really good. I'm glad you love my sissy. And I'm glad she's happy. I thank you for that. In my opinion tho..and don't take offense to this...but I think if you really love her...then you need to slow things down just a little bit. Don't become an over obsessive prat! Because you'll definitely scare steph off that way. Just friendly advice....talk to you later. Lorrie
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Baby, I love you more than life. I really love the poem (f), don't think I don't just cause I'm not feeling well today. Keep writing, love, I can't wait to read more.
Love ALWAYS and FOREVER (amor siempre y para siempre)
xXxChristinaxXx -
i like all the metaphors used in here, nice poem. keep up the work
!
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