Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Only For U

Submerged in
Mercurial memories,
I sit naked upto my soul
Waiting to be crystallized


You froze my senses
With intensely warm words
Vaccumed away my spirit
Into the nothingness of peace


I overflow
With awe,and laugh like a bubble
A bubble shortlived,glinty and bright


All those black ghosts
Are left behind for a while
Like a train whistling away
Leaving a hollow platform
Full of shadow stories



And your shadows
Are still blind stories
My viens still empty
Without your lifelines


Drink not in my essence
Drench not in my pain
My mirth will vanish
As a blushing bright sun does

Author notes


Written September 8th, 2005

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Margaret Denham gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There's so often that one person we know we'll never have but the feelings remain strong. You got that point across very well with your poem.

    Thank you for entering and best wishes in the judging.

    Margaret


  • orchidfalls
    October 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It is for a person I love a lot and I know though he is never going to be mine I will never forget him

  • Thedragonisgone
    October 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering in this contest, my dear. It's lovely. I would like to know who it is for.


  • orchidfalls
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank once again ,No it dosent have to do vith vampires ,,ha ha

  • orchidfalls
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi,Thank you so much ,your comment was so encouraging .I was totally put off because i thought my writing dosent make sense anymore .I truly feel so much better by reading you wonderful comment .Thank you so much


  • Shadow Child 13
    January 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this poem! Great structure. I can really feel the emotion behind it. The words you used were so powerful. Keep it up.

  • Chocolate Poetry
    January 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is truly beatiful... I love it! It was original and kept me interested. I like the structure, and the rhythm was great! The imagery is fantastic and it flows nicely. I truly enjoyed reading this… I love how it seems to mesmerize you in certain parts so that you just don’t want to stop reading. It just draws you in. The emotion I felt was astounding! Wonderful! Keep up the great work! Maybe one day you can become a famous poet! I hope to read some more of your work sometime. Congratulations on a wonderful piece of art, and keep writing!!

    Brandon


  • Kuragari91
    January 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! I applaud you! Does this have to do with vampires? I love vampires! The etensive vocabulary and the flow in this was unbearably terrific! You did an outstanding job on this! Keep up the spectacular work!


  • orchidfalls
    September 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much Shaitus....

  • shaitus
    September 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written.
    Very nice images.
    Really enjoyed.
    Even your word selection is so good.
    ~shaitus.

1 - 10 of 10