the nightmare my life has become
is only what i made it to be
when will i finally follow the right path
an allow my torutured soul free
can i fix what i have broken
or should i just live in the ashes
look at everyone else live in there heaven
as i slowly bleed to death from theses gashes
fear has tragically taken over my future
making me afraid of what i may become
pushing all of the ones i love away
leaving me to this shame in which i wont suncomb
i am now standing on the edge of the chair
trying to work up the courage to take the leap
if only my star hadn't burned out
maybe in this life i wouldn't have been so weak
Author notes
Written September 5th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very well written. I could really feel the emotion in it.
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great job babe... i really liked this poem...keep up the fantastic work...again great work babe love ya.
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This really says a lot about human behavior, and the fact that there ARE people willing to admitt that they have no one else to blame but themselves. I don't think the star is burnt out....so much as it's just hidden, but then again, I don't live your life, so Iwouldn't really know. I just try to look at the better part of things anymore. I REALLY enjoyed this peice though
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Hopelessness and depression. Such a sad write...a very powerful one. As always, you held my attention until the very end...the hanging (no pun intended) ending was a nice touch...Leaves the ending to the reader. Wishing brighter days and many smiles to pass your way.
Always,
~Keri~
Edited on Sep 06, 11:40 because '.'. -
Hey David, I have to say your writings haven't changed a bit they are still amazing and completly astonishing. The meaning through out this whole write I can relate to so much, I have always been able to relate to them. The flow was great, and the whole write was excellent. This has to be one of my favorites and I'm glad that you've decided to come back!! Keep writing hun, -Heather
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I like this. The rhyming was pretty good, and the entire idea was interesting. Excellent work
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