I was tired that day,
I closed my eyes to take some rest;
knew not when I slept.
I saw myself treading towards a big gate;
Beautiful it was, as beautiful as loving heart!
I looked around,
Saw flowers everywhere…
As I walked a few more steps,
the door opened and I got in;
an unknowing feeling arising within.
As I walked further more,
I was thrilled by what I saw…
There she was sitting in one corner,
watching the flowers around her.
She got up as she saw me coming;
she looked at me as if she knew I was coming.
I ran towards her;
expecting her to hold me in her arms,
but she withdrew them back.
She had tears in her eyes,
she said I must forget,
forget everything I held-
so tightly close to my heart.
As she sat on the couch,
someone else knocked on door…
I opened my eyes and saw around.
There were flowers on the bed,
same as I had seen in my dream...
I turned my eyes towards the door,
a shadow was staring at me …
There was the man knocking at the door.
I saw the woman I loved,
So closed but far...
Her heart was with someone else,
I looked at her and released a sigh.
At the verge of happiness,
spring flowers curled up and died.
Author notes
yo yo yo wats happenin
A contest entry
- anything take a look by x Bright Eyes x.
575 points, ended June 17, 2007, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help! i really need some inspiration by lucy sky-diamond.
600 points, ended July 14, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ALMOST Anything and Everything! Win Memberships! by kiwikrazi37.
369 points, ended August 14, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What You'd Give For Love by DarknessOfSanity.
900 points, ended July 4, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Oh my God!
I can totally relate to this! It was really sad, but sweet. It was still exceptionally well written, and I really liked it! Fantastic job! Thanks for entering -good luck! -
Should I ask why you changed up the poems. Do you know me THAT well if you do then you know me better than anyone does. Have an awesome day!
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hi i thought the imagery in this was good your flow was excellent and wording was very good thank you for entering and good luck in the contest as well
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"Let's not wait until something is gone
and say you know what you would've done" is my favorite part good luck
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you are so right and this described it so perfectly loved the last two lines it is so true and right thanks for entering and i wish you the best of luck
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This is very good and has a very important message to all, remining us that we must be grateful for what we have then if we get more we can really enjoy it but if we do not realize what we have had all along how can we enjoy anything that is given to us. Thanks for the write
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Very good and well written with a very timefelt message that everyone should hear.
.billie. -
This is very good and interesting. Very well written. The background made it very hard to read,but while i was trying to read it came out very good!
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Terrific
TERRIFIC PIECE!
Good luck in my contest and thanks so much for entering!!!
Yours,
Cassie
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GREAT
this poem is well written... I liked this part of the poem:
'It's not where you've been,
but where you're about to go
The choices that are ahead
are far more difficult then the one of yesterdays
So don't pity yourself
There is a life out there
and so many miles to be walked
and yet, you've not walked a quarter mile.'
It really talks to me.... you wirte well through poems.... I thinks that it is great to do that.... good job keep up the good work.... talk to you soon and good luck in this contest
Forever DarkenedDreams -
You've written a great poem, and i couldn't agree more, we really need to take a look at our life and appreciate it. Not to take it for granted and realise how lucky we are. Well done.
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excellent writing
The message you have written into this poem is a truely beautiful one. You are right. We all need to realize how lucky we are and be thankful for what we have. Too many complain of little unimportant things. This is a very heartfelt and deeply emotional write. Thanks for sharing.
etherealforu -
Sadly True!
The message is very inspirational and a good reminder to us all.How many sit there on benches regretful of careless words and hateful deeds and suddenly the time is gone and the regret is bitter.The imagery is great but flow jist a little jerky. -
<3
Beautiful message. Very well written, I liked it!! smiles -
really nic epoem thanks for writng it and i love your poems
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Very difficult to read against this backround. -Al
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inspirational with hope
Inspiring and full of hope. Great poem beautifully written.
I really hope to see more... -
Liked the background but could not read it all because the yellow on the white makes it difficult to see.
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i really liked the poem alltogether, however I had a hart time reading it because the background is a little busy. It doesn't take away from your beautiful work, I just thought I would mention it, good luck to you in the contest.
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IN A NUTSHELL...Life is a series of choices WE make and even tho
fate may bring circumstances beyond our control it is STILL us who decides how we will REACT to those actions. Blame lies no where other than within MY hands for where I am and where I go...
I know that old man on the bench...for I have been him...
-Eddy -
Good Job. I loved it all together. Keep it up!
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Impressive, good use of the opening lines, I loved the message! Great job and good luck in the contest. Thanks for entering!
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great write!
this conveys an important message to all who read it. you really started out strong, and presented great imagery. my only suggestion would be to shorten it a bit...let the reader think more while reading less. -
This is a great poem, I agree we shouldn't dwell on what's wrong in this world. Thanks for sharing this, and best of luck in the contest!
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