she dances.
a circular swayswing motion
wrenching the world in around her
hoarding her sky
she sings.
a high-pitched wailscream note
launching her voice out loud and strong
announcing herself
She stares.
a single brightcalm eye
still inside the twisting windy spiral
surveying her work
she moves.
a random backforth pattern
hunting heat and mist and might
extending her life
she quiets.
all intensity earthcold stolen
inward surge slowed and stilled
reducing her power
she dies.
a silent hazedark end
furrows of earth debris and falling mists
marking her grave
she leaves behind.
a mourning hurtsad path
the ruin of land and life and peace
guarantee her infamy.
Author notes
Inspired by hurricane Katrina.
Written September 3rd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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This was insanely good, I have read many a poem about suchc disasters, but never one so intellegent, and imaginetive, well done, and a great write!
Freedom.
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Swayswing and wailscream are brilliant. I am tempted to steal them. But, I will resist that temptation because it would be a hollow victory indeed to gain accolades derived from the work of another. I wish I had thought those up. Keep up the good work.
CaliOkie
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you've got some flow.
hey, love. its been a while since ive posted on this site, and but i remember you being good.
it seems i remembered correctly. -
This is really creative. You've done such a wonderful job in
describing every facet of the hurricane. You wrote it from the
perspective of the hurricane and that is unique. This is a
really good piece of writing. I enjoyed it. I liked the title, too. And, of course, reading about the ending was good. Shancy. -
i like this poem its very rythmic, in itself. and the words are really powerful graet stuff.
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really a beautiful poem which so eloquently personalized a hurricane, specifically Katrina, by some really great images and words. I am really impressed, having written a "Katrina" poem myself. beautiful writing Rain and truly enjoyed the read!
Jo -
I really love this. It's just beautiful. I love how you played with the words a lil by creating your own compound words.
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This is a wonderfully sad, melancholy piece. the graphics enhance what is being read. Your poetry moves as though the women in the poem is spinning, and spinning. Beautiful Write!
*GameGodess* -
This is wonderful,
ilove it,
keep up the great work.
love Renee xox -
I LOVE IT, AWESOME!!!!!! KEEP WRITING
I feel you emotion, the depths of your soul
This is awesome; I love this you are an awesome writer.
Strong words and the depths of your soul is wow just awesome.
Keep writing
Kisses; Sue
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Great work here.... you gave her a personality and made it personal! This was a strong write with great imagery..
Blessings
~Frog -
EXQUISITE!!!!!
An exquisite write, you have chosen awesome verbage for this piece and it lets the reader wait on for more... very good!!!!! -
She Cane came but keeps her powers as strong as a phoenix rising in frightning rebirth.This piece gave excellent descriptions of a hurricians awsome powers.~~~~Suseann
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Hi, this is great, now this is what I call a very good poem,you personified her, yes female, great visuals, great feel, this has to be a winner if there is any justice, well justice can be a fickle lass at times, lol, you have my applause, hugs Di
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She has indeed become infamous. A very good write with a nice flow and some great descriptions. Best wishes and
S... ~genielassie~
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another great poem in the contest, good luck
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INCREDIBLE!!!
This poem moved like a hurricane, twisted, spiraled, it is so well done I cannot read another poem tonight cause nothing could compare.... I'm gonna come back and read this many times! The spirit of 'her' reminds me of YEMANYA who is the 'Great Mother' figure in Yoruba faith, she also CONTROLS/BRINGS HURRICANES!
Sometimes us Mothers must be powerful, ey
Twisting, turning,writhing,blowing,sweepinghard,all of
The dross away! -
wow great write you make katrina seem like an actual person yet keep it all real. love it
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Awesome work! Love the compound words you used! Very lyrical description of the ominous beauty and terrible power of the hurricane!
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Great write !!!! She did kick ass and leave little survivors.
I love the flow and powerful expression.
I hold in prayer those hit by this evil storm.
Keep writing !!! -
excellent
very well thought out poem,
good luck with it and contest -
I really liked this, I think it is unique the way you have done this, I like the layout, keep up the good job, and best of luck to you
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very innovative idea to have a combo word (for lack of a better description
) in the second line of each stanza... such as "hurtsad". at first i thought "put a comma inbetween" then i said "nah... it's better this way"
very well-written poem which i enjoyed reading even though it's about the second worst American tragedy i've lived through.
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