Multiplying possessions of reducing value linings,
wider freeways and viewpoint orthodox,
taught us to make a living but not a life with meanings,
as our own created paradox.
Fancier houses with smaller families and broken homes,
scarcity of love with more of hate,
took us to progress but less laughter in our inert domes,
as contradictions galore of our fate.
Conquered outer but not inner space,
cleaned up outside air but polluted the soul,
living our lives without any grace,
and positive thought of good senses, always we maul.
Added years to life but not life to years,
learned to rush and not to wait for wastage of time,
more medicines and less wellness along with tears,
with the desire to gain more in mind prime.
In our quest for materialistic gains,
measure life with number of breaths we intake and sway,
because of which, we provide others only pains,
forgetting the moments that took our breath away.
Author notes
option 1
Written September 2nd, 2005
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thanks for appreciation.
Have nice time and Happy New Year.
manoj -
fantastic rhyming and fantastic message! thank you so much for gracing my contest and good luck! congrats on such a great write and keep it up. have a good one!
-quinn -
Thanks dear.
Best wishes,
manoj
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I enjoyed the entire meaning of this write , especially how you took the cliche of the breaths we take in your last stanza , to get the message across...yet completely change the wording of it ..thereby giving it your own signature meaning( and still able to understand perfectly). Thank you for entering this contest with this great piece , and best wishes to you,
reenie
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Very well done, and quite an important message. This poem definately merits more than one reading. You touch on so much of what is considered --socially acceptable-- that is really quite destructive to our spirits. Thank you so much for enterring.
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Shows we are going to fast to far and spending money in places maybe at this time we have no need to go, for example the exploration of space, yes this may have kept a handfull of scientists enthralled for decades and provided them with a healthy income for all those years but what has manking got out of it, the biro, no new super efficient fuel, no wonder medicine to cure the common cold, but it did serve a purpose by pleasing those in power, what benefits to society could have been obtained if those billions had been sent elsewhere> possibly even being able to add more life to the extra years, well done. Thank you for entering the contest I really appreciate it.
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This was a really good poem... I'm not too big on poetry about society or of political origin, since they're so quick to be outdated, but this one sort of had a timeless feel. You had some very powerful statements in there, and the poem was really heartfelt. Great job, and good luck on the contest!
-T -
Added years to life but not life to years,
Thats a very powerfull sentace, kind of confused me but its so phylosophical [im not shure bout to spelling of that word
}
But this who poem is very powerfull and with all your words created such a great image !
Conquered outer but not inner space; Another great line of this piece, you have such astrong inmagenation!
Great one grandpa very much enjoyed!
Good luck in judging your contest and may the best win, and this piece is great!
love from mars
Keep pen to paper and luck at the top
♥
♣
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1 - 8 of 8
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